Sunday, August 30, 2009

First Blow/Failure

So hoping writing on this will help me feel better. I guess my first workout didn't go as good as planned. The line up was:

2 miles warm-up
2x50 butt kicks
2x50 skips
4x1 mile- 90% HR(with drink and 400 jog recovery)
1x10 min. stairs alternating (1-step and 2-step)
5 mile cool-down

Going into the workout I didn't know what the miles were suppose to be exactly.

Well here is what transpired-

2.2 mile warm-up (don't ask)
2x50 butt kicks
2x50 skips
4x1mile (5:55, 6:03, 6:06, 6:03)(400j recovery/drink)
1x10min stairs (alternating)
5.3 mile cool-down(don't ask)

Later I found out the miles were suppose to be in around 5:45-5:50. So I have an extremely long way to go to get where I need to be.

I am so let down. I have disappointed another coach. This seems to be the story of my life. And this was on the first workout with her. If she was smart she would pull out NOW after finding out I'm not as good of a runner as she thought. I feel like a disappointment, a letdown, a failure you name it and I feel like it.

She is amazing for taking me on and trying to get me to be my best but we have a long way to go apparently and not much time (2 months including the taper so really less then that). I am not sure this is going to happen. Either she is going to drop me(like she has every right to) or I am just not good enough to be as good as she thought......

Got a workout today built in to my long run, first time I have ever done anything like this. Let's hope it goes A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT better. I need it mentally. I am losing my confidence and doubting myself.

PS- Thanks for all the people that are trying to help my dream come true by getting me to Spain. To compete with the best in the World. You are 1 in 100 million. Truly a special person. May you have all the best.

Friday, August 28, 2009


Ouch someone doesn't believe in my running

Apparently a few people don't maybe I shouldn't have made this poll or put the slower times there. Glad I didn't put any slower.

It's funny because when I ran 3:46 I couldn't break 20 mins in a 5k and was 1:30 in the half marathon. And now I can run 18:19 in the 5k and 1:24 in the half marathon. Yet people think I am going to be slower.


Of all of the dreams in the World
One so big would be absurd
To be the last one in the pack
And have everybody laugh

To be the last one with all the pity claps
And be dead last on every lap
To continue to train really hard
Although I was told I'll never go far
My dreams were as big as the stars

I'd continue to train through all of the bad
Through everything that was thrown at me and made me sad
For all the words that would hurt
For everything I had to endure
For all the pain I hid inside
For all the times she made me cry
Through all the adversity I had to face
But never forgetting that one special place
Where all of my dreams of being good would escape

Settings would change and so would I
I found a new race where I could keep pace
But with all of the dreams I've had
No would could ever imagine God had this in plan
All of the dreams he has for me
Will we ever see how good I can be
I couldn't do it without him that's for sure
And now what's left is to see what's in store

He has given me a coach with a new plan
Who believes in me and thinks I can
That all of my dreams could possibly come true

How could I go from being dead last and called fat
To someone with a dream that was once called absurd

Changes to come

I'll probably add more later but I wanted to add it now.........

Big changes are coming you've yet to see
The best runner in me that I can be
I'm scared of the changes yet to be made
But it's time I take this leap of faith
I'll give over my trust to someone I don't know
But because of this I will grow
I'll be free of my past and the harm that was done
But won't be on this new journey alone
She'll be with me to guide my path
(And hopefully never put pressure because I'm too fat But I highly doubt she'll do that)
She wants to lead me to be the best runner that I can be
She believes in me and thinks I can go far
No one outside my family has ever thought that
She'll be like my mentor and show me the way
But I have to believe and follow her way
She'll tell me what I did right and what I did wrong
But can I stand the pressure that might come my way
I've always had my Dad to run to when it would come
But now I have to grow up and stand on my own
And give over my trust to something unknown
I don't have much time of this I know
It is dwindling down day by day
But so much work I have left to do
She's going to need a miracle to get me in race shape
To get me to the place that I'll run great
I've got a big goal of few I've told
I'm afraid I won't reach it and don't want anyone to know
It's going to take a drop bigger then most
I've got to work harder then anyone knows
I want to prove myself and be the best I can be
I've got about 2 months for it all to turn around
She's going to need a miracle to get me to my goal
Maybe I should change it but that's not something I want to do
I'm going to give it my all and learn to trust again
For there was a reason we were brought together
Maybe she holds the perfect plan that God and her have designed
Maybe she can erase my past and give me the chance to be my best at last,.....tbc possibly

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Update on the Spain Situation

Well after things earlier this week looked extremely down with finding out because of my parents having to pay my car bill, car insurance and phone bill they are having to hold some of their bills for it. Well then God Blessed me with 3 days subbing this year already, could be possibly more to come. Well so I thought I was going to add $200 to my soon to be open Spain Trip Only Bank Account. But instead that money has to go to my parents to make the their bills. Which is rightfully theirs.

Well today a runner/coach named Dara Ford has just donated some money to help get me to Spain. This money will allow me to take my first step towards getting there. I am also lucky enough to have been given the help by some other facebook friends, Lisa Smith-Batchen and Claire Mchugh Gilles. These 2 ladies are helping collect money from other amazing ultra runners to help make my dream come true. All I can say is THANK YOU to all who have donated to these ladies. You are truly amazing people. May God Bless and keep you safe in his arms. And Good Luck to you in all your running adventures that are ahead for you.

So things might be looking up. Thanks to the kindness of you. Especially to Dara, Claire, and Lisa. Also on Monday I was blessed by someone who did something amazing for me and I can't thank this person enough for what they did. They are also a part of helping to make my dreams come true. You are truly a kind kind person Thank you. So I am actually having a feeling that this might happen. That my dream might come true. That I might be headed to Spain for the World Trophy 50k Championships. And it is all because of the kindness of a few humans. But there is a glimmer of hope now.

I have a big goal that I need to do a lot a lot a lot of work to get there. But I am going to go out and give it my all for you. I want to make you proud.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.Aesop

Kindness, like a boomerang, always returns. ~Author Unknown

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

It's Official Spain here I (possibly) come and Last Week's Training

Ok So it is official now. I have the official invitation to Spain. And replied to them that I will be coming. Now ASAP I have to get my Ohio drivers license and Passport and need to do this pronto. But don't have the money. Dad is going to call my Uncle who said he would help. Next is trying to come up with the money for the flight.

Ok as far as training last week after Monday it went pretty good. The last 3 weeks I had slacked off training using Monday team nights as the only training run and have found myself to have not been in the shape I was earlier this season. So After coming home Monday from practice declaring I was going to quit running because I was horrible at it. I got an email asking for my email address to invite me to the World Trophy 50k in Gibraltar, Spain. Well this changed everything because I was training to run a 50 miler in 8:00 pace and now I have to drop down to 7:00 pace. So I have a lot of work to do. And we got started on it Tuesday even though I didn't have the official invitation yet. So here is how my week of training went after Monday's disaster

Monday-CRC Run- 13.5 miles -pace varying from 6:something to 8:something all over the place here.

Tuesday-Beginning Anew- 10 miles- with 3 mile warm-up- 24:47 (goal 24:00-24:45) (+2 sec)
1 mile- 6:18 (goal 7:00) (-42 sec) (3:07, 3:11)-1 mile total recovery back to 3 mile mark- 9:13 (no goal just recover)-1 mile- 6:10 (goal 7:00) (-50 sec) (3:07, 3:03)-1 mile total recovery back to 3 mile mark- 9:28 (no goal just recover)-3 mile cool down- 22:13 (goal 24:00-24:45) (-1:47)
Total 10 mile time= 1:18:11(7:49 pace overall)

Wednesday- 8 miles- suppose to keep it under 8:15 pace- 7:33, 7:20, 7:24, 7:21 (29:40), 7:20, 7:29(mountain), 7:15, 6:45 (3:24, 3:21) (28:52) = 58:32 (7:19 pace overall)

Thursday-14 miles- 10 x 1:30 and keep it under 8:15's- 7:37, 7:27 (1 x 1:30), 7:29 (1 x 1:30), 7:39 (1 x 1:30), 7:32 (1 x 1:30), 7:39 (1 x 1:30), 7:41 (1 x 1:30), 7:47 (1 x 1:30), 7:30 (1 x 1:30), 7:45 (1 x 1:30), 7:28 (1 x 1:30), 7:40 (mountain), 7:19, 7:25
14 miles with 10 x 1:30= 1:46:04 (7:34 pace overall)

Friday- 10 miles-keep it 7:30-7:45- messed up my watch hit stop button instead of lap button on one hlaf mile so only got a 9.5 mile time and not a 10 mile time- 7:24, 7:31, 7:28, 3:40 (.5), 7:23, 7:23, 7:16, 7:28(mountain), 6:56, 6:47
9.5miles=1:09:17 plus extra unaccounted for half mile (7:17 pace overall)

Saturday- 8 miles- 5 x 2 minutes- finally NO WATCH- except to do the 2 minutes

Sunday- 22.5 miles (could have been as much as 23.5 but I came up with it being 22.5)- Just some LSD- Long Slow Distance- at Highbanks park with Rob (who is a 2:50 marathoner)

Total week Mileage= 86 miles

Hoping this week goes even better, but had another rough Monday practice- so I'll guess we'll see.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Semi-Invitation to the World Trophy 50k- Season Recap

(The majority of this is from last week)

Wow what a week. I come home Monday from my team's practice declaring I was going to quit the one thing I love (besides family/friends), the one thing that makes me happy, the one thing live for, what I have been doing for 12 years. I was so upset I was running awful. (Training for my 50 miler at slower miles has put me behind everyone else. I have a lot of work to do) I was giving up but then I come home to find a message from a friend named Roy that wanted my email address so they could forward me the invitation to the World Trophy 50k in Gibraltar, Spain. Wow talk about timing from God. Then I 'patiently' awaited this invitation and well it never came until Thursday when it wasn't the invitation that I received yet but rather an email from the head guy saying by now you should have received an invitation to the race. Hmmm?? So I emailed him back and told him I haven't received it and he sent me a blank copy of what I should have gotten. And it doesn't directly state that you are invited it says "You will most likely be invited." It states this because there are still 3 races yet to be run with the last being Sept 19th. So it isn't official until then. But we have to email them whether we accept the invitation by Aug 31st.

Right now I am sitting ranked 13th with 3:46:30 (7.5 minutes out of 4th(3:39:00). The other American women that are invited Kami Semick (2nd 3:29:20), Jill Perry (6th 3:41:21) and Annette Bednosky (15th 3:47:59). These women are some great and fantastic women and runners, I am honored to be in their company, the weird thing for me is they all have sponsorships besides me. The American men that are invited are Michael Wardian (3rd 2:56:36) and Justin Fyffe(12th 3:06:49). Now besides Kami and Michael (who won the qualifying meet)(USA 50k National Championships- Caumsette) there is all a chance we might not get to go with 3 races left in the series. The website says it is inviting 40 athletes now whether that means 40 men and 40 women or a total of 40 athletes period makes a big difference.

For me this is a mixed blessing. I have been given that chance of a lifetime. But there is so much that is possibly stopping me from going. The first thing is I need a passport which cost $100 but in order to get a passport I need to get an Ohio license which I don't know how much it cost. Then what if I dish out this money that is non-existence and then don't get the official invite. The problem with money is right now I am down to $9 dollars from a race I won earlier in the month and I won't even tell you how much I have drained my parents back account to. And on top of this immediate needs, my shoes are dead both pairs. My body is aching because they are so dead and of course I have no money to get them, even with the generous discount I get from the Columbus Running Company for running on their team. They next thing to stop me from going is that we looked and tickets are like over $800. My Uncle Tom said he would help with what he could but I know he can't help with that much. The thing is we are fortunate enough to be getting 300 euros (approx. $420) but don't receive this until we get to Gibraltar. So you have to fork the money up upfront. We are lucky enough to be getting 5 days in a 'hotel' paid for. I am not sure about food, one page mentioned it and the other didn't. I also am not sure how we get from the airport to the athlete's village. I have so many questions left to be unanswered.

Update(8/17)- So I was told by the head guy to email him about whether or not we got the invite and I told him I hadn't. So well he sends me the blank copy of the invite and it says to let him know before the 31st whether we accept or not. So well I emailed him back, because I didn't have the email address of the person that was suppose to invite me saying I would go. And asking a question about the transportation. And then asking who I should direct the rest of my questions to. Well I got an email back that I took as rather rude. Telling me I just need not to worry about any of the questions until the invitation thing gets sorted out. Ok what am I suppose to do about that problem?? The whole email just gave off a rude feeling with it. This makes me feel like not wanting to go when someone can be so mean/rude to you for doing what you think is right.

But such a blessing this is in my life. I just don't know if this will all get to happen or not. I still can't believe this is happening. I can't believe this girl that was a 34 plus minute 5k runner that got all the pity claps time after time after time is being invited to an international competition. This is such a dream come true. Yes when I was running so slow I once dreamed I would be a good runner. I still have a long way to go to be a 'good' runner (depending on your term of the word, but to put things in perspective the American Record is 3:13 and I don't even know what the world record is). But still this is a huge improvement. Now I have done all the work over the past 12 years, besides he 67 days I was in treatment from June 20th-August 25, 2008. I have came a long way in a year too. When I started back up I was running 22 minute 5k's to now setting PR's in the 18's. (see below) Now it's all trying to pay off if things would just work financially.

Here is basically a recap of almost a year of running.

In treatment until August 25th

Aug 26th first day running Since June 19th

Sept 19th- Night Moves- 22:13- 4th
Oct 4th- Race for Vision- 22:04- 2nd
Jan 24th- Freezing Nose 4 miler- 25:15- 1st place (PR at time)
Feb 15th- Last Chance Half marathon- 1:30:12- 1st Place (PR at time)
Mar 1st- USA 50k Nationals (Caumsette)- 3:46:30- 3rd place (PR) Marathon PR(3:06:37)
April 5th- Athens Half marathon- 1:24:52- 1st Place (PR)- 15k-59:38(PR) 10m 1:04:18(PR)
April 26th- Toledo Marathon- 3:14:18-2nd place
May 25th- Lancaster Memorial 5k- 19:03- 2nd place (PR at time)
June 7th- Columbus 10k- 38:29-5th place (PR) 5k-18:40 (PR) 4m-24:22 (PR) 5m-30:49 (PR)
June 20th- Run for the Rose 5k- 18:55(19:06)- 1st place
June 27th-Hyde Park Blast Elite 4 miler- 24:39- 9th
July4th-July 4th 10 miler-1:04:55- 1st place
July 11th- CRC Mile- 5:42- too many place to count
July 23rd- Suicide Prevention/Touching Lives with Hope 5k- 18:19- 1st place (PR)
August 1st- Lancaster Festival 5k- 18:50- 1st place
August 1st- Paced Last 19.6 miles of the Burning River 100 miler

Monday, August 3, 2009

Lancaster Festival 5k and Burning River 100 miler Pacing

Well, hmmm where do I begin....After last Thursday's (7-23) 5k in 18:19 I was pumped for this Saturday's race to try to get into the 17's. Well that was until my training leading up to it. Something happened I am not sure what, but if you know me you know I love running and never try to take days off unless they are unavoidable. Well Wednesday came and it was rainy and gray and crappy outside I didn't want to run. When I stretched to run I even told mom I wanted to take a zero day. When I went out to run I came up with good excuses to turn around every step of the way, but somehow I managed to get 10 miles in. I thought maybe it was just a rough day but then came Thursday and well the same kind of weather (even had to run later then normal because of storms) and the same feeling about running, didn't want to be out there doing it. I dreaded every step of it and only did 6 miles. So I knew at this point there was no chance of getting into the 17's I was just mentally out of it. Just didn't feel like doing it.

(Restarting this Friday almost a week later so I am sure there is plenty I'll forget) We got to the race and got registered and found the restrooms and talked to some of the people in charge of the race. They informed me that Rob Meyers was in town and was coming in to run the race. Well I went to warm up and forgot to take my medicine. Bad mistake cost me early in the race. At the start of the race there were some women on the front line but there was no room on the starting line so I went and stood behind a teammate of mine named Matt and Rob Meyers. Well the race started and I was told before the race that this one runner that we knew was trying to break 18 so I knew I needed to try to stay around him. Well I was off from the start. By the time I had got to the first mile I was 6:00.26 and this was way off because when I ran 18:19 I was 5:43 and I knew I needed to be faster then that. So after this I knew I was going to be lucky to run in the 18's. So we were on the bike path went up the hill around on the grass and through the streets and back onto the bike path. For the second mile the guy I was keeping tabs on had just disappeared out of sight. The second mile I hit in 12:07.16 (6:06.90). So at this point it was just hang on. I had been in first place the entire race, had no clue if anyone was near me but at this point my goal was just to stay strong and break 19. Well my last 1.1plus was 6:43.13 for an overall time of 18:50. I was the first female and 13th overall but it was a bad race. But I beat 2nd place female by 2:21. A guy I had beaten earlier this season beat me bad. But I managed to pick up $100 for my trip to Burning River 100 miler and for my family. Rob Meyers won the guys race in 15:05 and got all the headlines.

Race- Lancaster Festival 5k
Date/Time- 8-1-09 8:30AM
Time- 18:50 (6:00.26, 6:06.9, 6:43.13(1.1plus))
Place- 1st female, 13th overall
Temp- nice
Thoughts- Definitely a bad race- off from the start but happy I at least broke 19 again and won money for the family.

Burning River 100- (this is scattered and all over the place)
This whole idea came to pace this race the week of the race when I realized since I hadn't been able to run the 50k in Virginia I had planned to because I didn't have the money for the trip so I thought hey why not get my first pacing experience and 100 mile experience. So I posted on the website. I warned that I had never done it before and stated the 2 ultras I had done. And a guy named Nathan Echols contacted me. He was shooting for 19 hours. So I was pumped I was going to pace him from 81.6 miles to 101.2(the finish line) Before the race I had contact with a lady name Julie about possibly getting a ride to my aide station starting point. Well i hadn't heard from her. Well mom went to town and had the phone with her and happened to get a message from her(We don't have reception at home) So I called her back and we decided we would meet around 6 or whenever I was able to get there I allowed myself an extra hour because I didn't know where I was going. Well I got there at 5 something and contacted Julie he aid he would come pick me up and take me to the aide station at Boston well we got back there and waited for her runner Juli, at this time we also got the news that something happened to Nathan and he had gotten lost for about an hour and went back to his girlfriend, Jenny Chow, to run so he would be later then planned. Well Julie got me out to my aide station at about 6:30. I was suppose to be prepared for a give or take 45 minutes of 8 PM and now was told give or take 45 minutes of 9 PM.

The aid station was called the covered Bridge. Out there I met a guy named Mike that I was facebook friends with. I ended up talking to him until 10:05PM when Nathan and Jenny showed up (with her pacer Michael). So I helped them get ready to move on to a bad 4 section mile of the course. It had over ankle deep mud. It was dark, there were steep hills and I even got my shoe stuck at one point. I am not sure if that is where it was but in this race I had my first real river crossing which didn't go to well. I was trying to follow Nathan who is 6 something feet tall and here I am barely 5' 3". Well I watched him step on a rock and I tried well that didn't go so well and all of a sudden all you heard was SPLASH my foot went straight into the water o I was like forget it. SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH all the way across. On that 4 mile section we did a lot of walking because it was what most people called "unrunable" - I am not sure how I feel about this because even when I was running 34 minute 5ks I never walked a step- but I have never ran a whole 100 miler- Well we ran and walked through the rest of the race I timed the run part of the race. We I picked jenny and Nathan up at mile 81.6 she was in 4th place. At mile 85 she was tied for 3rd place but the other women left the aide station before us so we were back to 4th place. Well eventually we got back up to 3rd place, but we weren't quite sure about this though and the aide stations didn't know for sure either. During our aide stations I would help Nathan and Jenny with their stuff and I also tried a chocolate chip cookie and a quarter of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I never had problems with the cookie but not sure about the other. Later in the race we passed another girl so at this point we now knew at worst we were third. At the next aide station we got it confirmed that we were second. So at this point it became my job to watch behind us for anyone coming. Because we knew the women we had passed earlier had 2:53 marathon speed. Well we passed a few other runners along the way but it was just black behind us. Then we hit the roads and poor Jenny they told her she had to basically sprint she had to run 4 minutes to get under 22 hours. Well she got it 21:59:59 for Jenny and Nathan, 16th and 17th overall and 2nd female. Total I was on my feet for 4 hours and 55 minute with them and 2:40:28 of it was running and 2:14:39 was walking and aide stations.
After the race we sat in the tent for almost an hour. Well it was 3:50 AM when we left the finish area. I didn't have money for a hotel room and I wasn't about to call my brother and sister(in-law) at 4 in the morning. So I figured I would just drive home the 3 hours (plus when you are tired have to stop for gas and restroom). So I left at 3:55 AM and headed home it took me until 7:20ish (normally I am up 1-2 hours before this in the morning). So I got home took my medicine and went to sleep until about noon. When I ran on Sunday I surprisingly felt OK. It wasn't until Monday that I felt anything!
It was a new experience for me. I had fun running with Nathan, Jenny and Michael. I just wish I could have done more for them. Michael knew much of the course so he led us and I just ran along side and helped them at aid stations however I could. I would loved to have tried to help pace Nathan to a 19 hour finish but as you learn things don't always turn out as planned.

Hmmm I am sure there is much more I want to say but just can't think of it. So for now.....