Monday, January 12, 2015

Short 2014 Wrap-Up

I have been trying to figure out for awhile if I should write this or not.  There is no ultra content very few and slow races.  But in March I decided I would go back to January when I kinda/sort of/ not really got back into running after basically stopping for a few years due to health reason and other negative things people don't want to talk about.  So in March I went around and found a bunch of place to keep my running miles logged online. (My dad keeps track of it in my running journal). I finally settled on one called Running Ahead. So I went back and put all my miles starting in January and going up to the current time in March.

So in January I was basically starting off like a new runner-

In Jan- I got a total of 57 miles for the month

In Feb- I got 72 miles for the month

In March I made it up to 145 miles for the month

In April I decided to try a 5k and it was a personal worst approx 25:46.  These was a huge let down and things got bad for me.  I love running when I can run fast.  And now I was slower then I thought I could ever run again.  So I gave myself a few days to think about it because I was seriously thinking about quitting running for the rest of my life.  I just moped through running the next couple of days and tried to decided if I can work harder and maybe improve with time or was I never going to be able to run fast again so I should just quit.  We decided to push on because we thought there might be one thing causing this. I was constantly feeling tired the last couple of months. I would come back from a run and just lay in my bed for 3 hours hoping to fall asleep.  So we decided to try taking an iron supplement.

In the month of April I got 175.5 miles

A few weeks into taking the iron my everyday pace had dropped drastically and it was fun again. So at the end of the month I decided to try another 5k and I just had a goal to try to run in the 24s.  I ended up running 23:10.

In the month of May I got 205 miles

In June I faced a new challenge I was puking on every single run and struggling to find out why this was happening but it was cutting into my miles and runs drastically

In the month of June I got 175 miles

The puking continued this in July

In the month of July I got 193.5 miles

Things came back together and started to log better miles

In the month of August I got 238.5 miles

In the month of September I got 244.5 miles

In October I got up to 290 miles

In November I ran another 5k and my goal was to run 23 and I ended up at 21:02

But then some time in the month my injury that hunted me for 2 years back in 2009 was back.  Now all I could do was run slow miles for as long as I could take the

In November I got 222 miles

In December I got a pain shot but we didn't hit the right spot so the pain continued.

In December I got 225.5 miles

My total miles for the year was 2243.5 miles

My goals are to continue to keep running and next time I get the pain shot if we hit the right spot get my miles back up and put long runs back in and run a faster pace.  My ultimate goal is to get back into ultra running but I have to take thing one run at a time.

Love of my life- My Yeti -Booster

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Secret Santa and Ugly Sweater 5k .... on the comeback trail.....still 11/15/14

Pre-race training and plans:  My last race was May 31 and I ran 23:10 (5k).  Since then I have been working on being more consistent and increasing my mileage.  And in that time the only kind of running I have done, besides a handful of days, is what I call my 0% effort run (just easy jog stuff).  The only "workouts" I have done was a 1 mile time trial.  On Sept 8th in 6:42.  On Oct 29 without timing I did 5 miles of my 10 miles at an uptempo pace.  On Oct 30th without me knowing Dad timed my 10 miler in 85 mins.  On Nov 4th, Dad timed a 10 miler in 75 mins.  So this is when I decided I wanted to run another 5k race because I thought I could break that time in May of 23 minutes.  So I looked up races and found a few that I though about doing and kinda just thought it over for awhile.  I had found some for the weekend of the 8/9th and some for the 15/16th.  I finally decided I needed to figure things out so went out and sat with dad and we decided to wait until the weekend of the 15/16th.  So now this took my race choices down to about 4 or 5.  So I did some research on the races and took a couple of days to think about it.  I finally decided to do the 2nd Annual Secret Santa and Ugly Sweater 5k in Jackson, Ohio.  In the upcoming week I added a day (Nov 9th) of 9 miles with 4 x 1 min pickups.

Pre-race day- Friday Nov 14th.-  I dread pre-race days so much.  I have a superstition that I have to run about the same time as the race so this changes my dad since I normally run at 3:30 pm.  I hate the changing my schedule but it is something I must do pre-race days.  Luckily this race was at 10 am so it put a little break in my day.  But on this day I was trying to find something to keep myself busy so the NCAA D1 Regional races were going on and you could follow online so I was doing that to keep busy.  But got distracted and ended up not starting my pre-race run until a bit after 10:30 am.  My actual run that day felt great.  It was 18 degrees outside that day and I would normally be wearing 2 layers of pants and 3 layers of shirts and numerous gloves and a headband but I decided I needed to be prepared for race day and tried with just 2 shirts one pair tights a headband and 2 pairs of gloves.  The run went smoothly and now I just needed to survive the next 12 hours of the day.....

Race day Saturday Nov. 15th, 2014-  My Mom (who I owe major props to, has been sick all week an still came to the race with me)-we woke up before 7 am and started to get ready. Luckily this race was kinda close being just over an hour away, meaning we didn't need to leave until 7:45 to get there at 9 am for registration and warm-up and such. I got ready and checked the weather in Jackson and they were at 19 degrees but going to get up to 30 by race time (10am).  We arrived to Jackson just about exactly at 9 am.  We took our gift donation of the huge My Little Pony and paid $25 for the race.  I ended up getting a shirt because the turn out was very low.  Mom and I people watched until 9:29 when I realized I needed to have already been stretching to get my warm-up in.  So I stretched fast and went out and warmed up 5 min out and back for at total of 10 mins. While warming up I decided I could go without a headband but need 2 pairs of gloves.  SO I changed my shoes and stripped down to race gear but but I noticed and told my mom that something didn't feel right.  My shoes felt like they didn't fit. I was debating on running in just my normal shoes but decided maybe when I ran they would feel like normal.  I was listening to people talk and I heard a girl talking about her college scholarship and then I knew I wasn't going to win.  I decided to only wear my pink ribbon and then all of a sudden I look around and no one was in the parking lot anymore.  So I took my powerade zero and tissues to the area everyone was around.  I was listening to conversations and heard this girl that was talking about her scholarship was a 18:25 XC runner.  Then we all started to head to the starting line and I started to panic.  I had forgotten both pairs of gloves. Mom took off to the car to get them and luckily we ended up going past the car so I could get them from her.  The n we were off to the starting line and the guy that was starting the race told us the map they showed up was wrong ?!?!?!? (A few years ago I was purposely lead in the wrong direction on the course by the girl in 2nd places friend, I got lost in town and cried for 35 mins until some people came out of a bar and told me how to get back to the park.... I stopped racing after that happened for a long time).  I was really worried now as this was a really small race and I always seem to be by myself.  So now I knew I had to stay focused no matter what happened this race.

Race Time-  At around 10 am we took off. A few little kids and some high school kids were ahead of me and we were going.  Less then 400 meters into the race my toes were hurting really bad and I knew wearing these racing flats was a bad decision, but nothing i could do about it now.  As we started to go up a hill this guy in the crazy sweater said "I remember running with you before"  I quickly without thinking replied "You don't want to be anywhere near me because I am in the worst shape of my life" this got him to pass me up the hill but on the way down still all between .3-.75 of the race I ended up catching him and passing him back along with all the kids that took off.  So now the only people that were in front of me were this girl on scholarship, a boy and a guy in my age group.  But they were all way ahead of me.  I was just trying to keep an eye on them to see which way they would turn... a few turns came so fast that i couldn't see which way they had turned so had to really look around to figure things out.  The first time someone gave  split they said 10:11 and I looked at my watch and it was 7:59.  Hmmm.. I knew this wasn't the mile mark or a half way mark so I am not sure what this spot was suppose to be... I also have came to realize that they guy yelling out the time must have been yelling 10:11 because it was 10:11 am just meaning the race was off a little.. but that this truly wasn't any given spot on the course.  So I just kept pushing on and watching the race way in front of me between the young guy and the guy my age..... they were in a battle for quite a long time.  The scholarship girl was way out in front of the whole race with no competition at all.  As I was coming down toward the track I looked down and there were arrows pointing to turn left, so I slowed down and started to turn but my was standing there and I asked are we suppose to turn here and she said "No, not that way, straight ahead to the track."  So when I entered the track with one lap to go I entered at 19:22 and I knew I if I had anything in me I could get under 21 mins (my goal at the start was to get to 23) so I was happy... however since I had done no speed work my pace didn't change at all and I finished unofficially at 21:02 (so a 1:40 last lap) .

 The female runner had won the entire race, I never heard her time but she was way up there and then the 2 males were fighting for 2nd and 3rd overall in the race and for first male.  Sadly for me (explained later) the young boy won between the two. I head they both got under 20 mins so once gain I was in  space all alone - like always-.  But at awards came the shock we knew they were just doing 1 female overall and 1 male overall, but the shock came when they did age groups and they combined male and females together so even though I was 2nd female in the race and 4th overall.  I was only 2nd in my age group because the 2nd place male and 3rd overall guy was first in our age group.

I got my shoes off as soon as I could my toes were is so much pain. I went to cool down backwards on the track and yell for the other runners as they were finishing. As I was doing my lap I saw this girl come in and stop before the lap on the track and everyone was trying to get her to keep going.  My mom called for me and I went up and got her we did the last whole lap together. I later found out that she was only a junior high student and had Type I diabetes and she wanted to quit because she was embarrassed by how slow she was.  When I was talking to her I told her this biggest thing to take from this is you wanted to quit but look you are finishing the whole race.  I told her about how slow I one was and that now she has a goal to go after for her next race (I also later found out this was only her 2nd ever race).  She managed to run the whole lap with me and got to finish.

Re-cap - So with a 2:08 improvement since my last 5k I was very pleased.  Hey- and now for my next goal of breaking 21, I only have to be 3 seconds faster.. LOL.. Also my dad always predicts what he thinks I will run but doesn't tell me it until after I race. He predicted I would run 21:20 and be surprised! But BAM! I beat his prediction! 21:02

Monday, June 2, 2014

Licking Kiwanis 5k- Improvement

So after my last 5k I had a choice to make- Quit running forever or try harder..I had ran a 25:43 and the only split I knew was a 7:49 mile....... I wasn't sure what I was going to do and for a few weeks I was just going trough the motions of running.  Then on May 17th, I decided to time a 1 miler timed.  I ran a 7:27 (3:43, 3:44) and this was the start to turn everything around for me.  The following day we went to the park and I was running about 2-3 minutes faster per mile for an 8 miler.  Then Monday, May 19th (right before my birthday) I went out and felt 2 things I never feel. I expected to feel worn out from my 3 best days of training... yet all I felt was STRONG and CONFIDENT..... so I went with it and came out with my longest run of 11 miles and I did the first 10 without help, but Dad found me with one mile to go because he was worried since it was a planned approx. 6 miler.  For the most part since then, and up until now training has been pretty good. I even followed that mile time trail a week later with a mile in 6:57.

 So with next week traveling to the DC area to see my doctor and then the following weekend my parents going up to see my brother, his wife and baby Rose.  If I wanted to take this good training streak and test it out I had to race this weekend.  So I found a small race that was an hour away.  Dad and I talked before the race and we set the goal of shooting to be between 24:13-25:13, which would put the slow end only 30 seconds ahead of the 25:43 from April 19th.  Of course you always hope you can pull a rabbit out of a hat and run faster but that was the goal.

Last Race- Sue Apple 5k on April 19th- 25:43 (7:49, ?,?,?)(turn-around-approx 12:45) 2nd Female; 5th Overall

So Saturday, May 31st we went to Newark to run the Licking Kiwanis 5k.  It is an hour away from the house so we had to leave the house around 6:45 am and the race started at 9 am.  I got there and started people watching and flipping myself out.  Then finally I spotted someone that I absolutely had no chance at beating*. So now the goal was all about my time and hopefully finishing in the top 4 because I thought they were doing top 3 overall and then only 1 in age group.... but they did 3... but I wanted to at least get an age group award so I thought to guarantee that I had to be top 4. *( Later I found out I knew the girl that I knew I could not beat.  It was a girl named Diana that I used to race a lot.)

When the race was getting to start I lined up back around the 4th row, because I knew I could not run with the top runners there.  The race went off and using my watch and not their splits (they were way off on my watch) but y first mile was 7:07.  As I was approaching the mile I noticed that there were three guys coming back towards me so I decided to start counting how many guys I could pass to the finish.  I passed one right away and never saw him again.  Then I caught up to two more men and when I caught the one he took off and I never caught back up to him, the other one I stayed in front of until the last mile.  But my 2 mile split was 14:54 for a mile of 7:47....... at this point the only thing I was thinking was 'what do I need to do to get in the 24s'.  Honestly I couldn't come up with it at all so I just ran.  My 3 mile split was 22:13 for a 7:19 mile and then my last .1 took 57 seconds for a total time of 23:10. (officially it was 23:11.267, but the was the difference from where I started)

I was 2nd female and 11th overall.  The course was as flat as can be.  The only negative thing is trying to run a 5k on a community college there are turns every 30 seconds or so.  It was a continuous maze that I couldn't run again after I finished if I had to.  This speaks to the organization of the race and the volunteers that people didn't get lost.  It was a spectacularly ran race, well organized and lots of volunteers on hand to directs us where to go.  The trophies were the biggest of any race I have been to.  They gave awards to the top 3 overall and the top 3 in each age group.  This was one of best small local races I have ever been to.

So I still have a long way to go if I ever want to run near my PR of 18:19 for a 5k (if I ever can get back there.... gotta just take it one training run at a time). But I would say that 2:33 of improvement from April 19th to May 31 is a pretty good start.  An even better thing is that I am still running and haven't quit even though I am running so much slower than before. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

5k Comeback Devastation

So I decided I wanted to comeback to racing.  So the date and place were picked.  Saturday, April 19 in Athens, Ohio. A very small race on Easter weekend.

I'll start on the positive note- My mom was the 1st overall walker in the 5k in a time of 43 mins.

Now for the not-so-good news- my race.  I went in with the goal of running in the 24s.  My training was just coming together and I had only done one workout in almost 2 years.  I knew 24 would be hard to run, but honestly thought I could do it up until the night before the race.  (I ran this race in 2011 and was 21:16, 1st female, 3rd overall)

The race went off and I knew when I looked down at my watch 6 mins in and couldn't see the mile mark that I was in trouble.  I hit the first mile in approx 7:49.  Then I hit the turn around in approx 12:45 at this point I was still the leading female and there were 3 males ahead of me.  But soon after this a women passed me, I kept going because the website said 1st and 2nd get awards. I knew I wasn't going to run the time I wanted but since I was in second I kept going. (Had I known that they were only going to give an award to the winner I would have dropped out and helped mom to a faster time.)  I don't even remember the 2 mile split but really at this point who cared. The three mile was marked but I was already looking at the finish line and didn't pay attention to the split.  My finish time was 25:42 and I was the 2nd female and 5th overall.

I had no clue I could race this slow.  If I knew it was going to be this slow I would have never raced in the first place.  I am not sure where to go from here.  Running is fun to me when I can race fast.  Now I question if I will ever be able to go fast again.  And if I can't go fast again then I wonder should I just completely stop running period.  I am devastated and heart broken by this race.  I have no clue what my future holds for me. Saturday-Monday I am dog sitting, alone, and can't get out to run.  So I have some time to think things over.  I feel like this is one of the biggest disappointment of a race I have ever had, along with my first 50 miler attempt.  I feel like a failure after this race.

For people that don't understand depression, a race like this really hurts, because running fast is when I am happy.  On an everyday basis running doesn't make me happy but if I am able to get out of the house and do it, it is the the only time of day the horrible thoughts are not controlling me. And although running doesn't make me happy (unless racing fast), when I miss a day of running the depression is a lot worse.  I still want to continue running if I can run fast again, but that is what I don't know...  I don't know if I will ever run fast again.

Might add more later when feeling up to it.....

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

My Absence and Return to Running

I guess I should explain why I have been missing from the World for a few months.  It all started 4 or 5 months ago.  My depression got out of control and I couldn't get myself out of bed, not even to run.  After awhile of this I made a trip to see my doctor in Virginia and we knew we had to make some kind of change.  So she added a new medication and reduced one I was taking. I hate change but I knew we had to try something.  However, this time change proved to be wrong way to go.  My depression only got worse and everything fell apart.  I stopped running and stopped caring. I wouldn't leave my house expect for therapy appointments. I gained 24 lbs, which made the depression and self-hate that much stronger. Things were beyond a turn around point. I was on the edge of a cliff, teetering with one foot and the wind was blowing and I was waiting for a gust to take me down.  I didn't care how bad things were and to make it worse I didn't care that I didn't care.  My therapist was tracking this spiral out of control and after so long told me she wanted me to contact my doctor about it.  I had no intention of doing so because I didn't care how awful things were. So the next week she got a hold of my doctor and my doctor phoned me about what was going on.  She decided to tapper me off the new medication and up the one we cut back up to the normal amount.  Things didn't turn around right away but eventually and slowly I could feel the horrible burden and darkness sounding me lift up a bit.

 I started running again on May 8th.  And have been running since then on a steady basis.  (Will post a log later down the post.)  I want to get back into racing again but I want to be able to race a 5k in the 22 before I race again and things aren't coming so fast this time.  What used to be an easy 8 min mile pace has now become a hard 10 min mile pace.  Once I get some speed back I want to get back into ultras again, too.  I already know the ultra I am most looking forward to doing but it is held around October and I know I won't be ready for an ultra in October of this year.  I am just taking things on a day by day basis because I never know when the depression will become so bad again that I can't leave the house to run.

Wed 5/8-  2 miles
Thurs 5/9- 2.5 miles
Fri 5/10- 2 miles
Sat 5/11- 3 miles
Sun 5/12- 3 miles

Mon 5/13- 3 miles
Tues 5/14- 3 miles
Wed 5/15- 3 miles
Thurs 5/16- 4 miles
Fri 5/17- 4 miles
Sat 5/18- 4 miles
Sun- 5/19- 4 miles

Mon 5/20- 5 miles
Tues 5/21- 5 miles
Wed 5/22- 5 miles
Thurs 5/23- 5 miles
Fri 5/24- 6 miles
Sat 5/25- 6 miles
Sun- 5/26- 6 miles

Mon 5/27- 6 miles
Tues 5/28- 7 miles
Wed 5/29- 7 miles
Thurs 5/30- 7 miles
Fri 5/31- 7 miles
Sat 6/1- 8 miles
Sun- 6/2- 8 miles

Mon 6/3- 8 miles
Tues 6/4- 8 miles
Wed 6/5- 8 miles(dead legs, kept fighting because I knew 0 was soon)
Thurs 6/6- 8 miles(dead legs kept fighting because I knew 0 was soon)
Fri 6/7- 1 miles (couldn't fight anymore, Dad drove with me to get the 31 straight days of running)
Sat 6/8- 0 miles (had no way to run)
Sun- 6/9- 8 miles

Mon 6/10- 9 miles
Tues 6/11- 9 miles

Hoping to keep this up but I guess that is a day by day thing I will have to fight through.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

First Timed Run in Over 3 Years

Not counting 5k races, I haven't had the confidence to time any run in over 3 years. When I went to the park I was just suppose to get whatever I could in, mileage wise (like everyday).  I am not sure why I choose Saturday's run to decide to time. I didn't tell anyone I was going to do this, heck, I didn't even know I was going to do it until I did. Why Saturday, when I am coming off my best week so far (4 days of 8 miles and 1 of 9 miles). I guess because we were going to the park where I always tend to run faster (It's my 2 favorite types of runs, bike-path and out-and-back). Maybe because the weather was 60 degrees in January. I don't think I will ever know what made me decide to time it. But I did. I was hoping to do 8 miles, so the plan was to hide the watch and just hit the mile splits and look at it when I finished and hope that it was around 8:00 pace overall.  But that planned had failed by the first half mile (which is short, different starting point).(I'll post the splits below) Then when I saw what I had ran for the second half mile and for the next couple of half miles I started to try to convince myself that I could only go 7 miles at this pace.  But then I was able to compromise with myself that when I got slower then 8:20-8:30 pace I would just shut the watch off and be happy with what I did before that point. So my splits were-

1st mile-  3:16 (short) then 3:37 (add say 20 seconds, 7:13)
2nd mile- 7:03
3rd mile- 7:09
4th mile- 7:08
5th mile- 7:14 (messed up watch and stopped running but didn't stop the watch, it was my first time timing with this watch)
6th mile- 7:08 (hit the wall, first mile that I felt was hard)
7th mile- 7:11
8th mile- 7:17
Total time 57:09 (add 20 seconds) 57:29

LOL- I had a biker go by me and said look at that cadence. I kind of laughed because I don't even call it a stride, I call it my shuffle.
-This was the best day I have had in over 3 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

My Hope

I am struggling
But by looking at me you would never know it
As the hours go by it just gets pushed deeper inside
And I have to hold back the tears and emotions

All the negativity running through me
Will just never let me be free
And live the life that I have dreamed of

But there is one thing each day
That is my saving grace
And I can get in only one way
By simply going outside and running

Running does something to me
That you wouldn't believe
Without seeing it for yourself in person

When I am running it's like new life is breathed in me
And I become a whole new person

The negativity gets pushed away
And this new confidence emerges
This confidence that normally doesn't exist
Gives me the feeling of pure bliss

I can't adequately describe
The way it changes my life
But by saying it gives me this belief in me
That doesn't exist while not running

There is also this inner peace it brings to me
That everyone can see

It is also what gives me hope for the future
That the feeling I get could possibly exist
Outside my world of running

But for now I will just have to hold on to the hope to get me through each day
Because right now every second I breathe without running is a struggle
That most humans can't understand
So that is why I share my struggle with no one.