Saturday, December 26, 2009

lovED or hatED?

I don't know call it a poem call it a short story, but it's my life and what I go through everyday. Get something to drink and sit somewhere comfy it's LONG!

I love you and I hate you
I can't make up my mind.
You have been around with me for a very long time.
You make me do and say things I would never do.
You've ruined the best of friendships that I ever knew.
But the one thing you do for me that no one else can do
is always be there for me no matter what I am going through.
You are my best friend and my worst enemy
and always know just what to say,
and you motivate me to have another "bad" day.
Or maybe it's called a "good" one
of this I'm still not sure.
I don't want you but I need you.
Or is it I want you but don't need you?
Will I ever be sure?
You've hurt me but you've helped me along life's bumpy way.
I don't yet understand how my life went astray.
I sit here in my room listening to everything you say.
Sometimes I really wish you would go away;
but other times I cry to you to help numb away the pain.
Nothing else I do can take away the pain.
You are there when I call to you an even when I don't
Sometimes I think I've shook you, but you always manage to catch up.
Whispering in my ears things I shouldn't hear.
But yet I fall for it over an over again.
Sometimes I get up the courage to leave you behind,
then life becomes difficult and you get me out of my bind.
People tell me you lie to me, but with my eyes I can see, and I tend to disagree.
You are the only one I trust to tell me the truth, of what my weight should really be.
I don't know why I listen because I never measure up.
It seems I just can't get it right, an that I'm never good enough.
But you tell me if I keep pushing every single day, I'll get it just right one day.
You promise me of great happiness, of this I've yet to see.
And you tell me you have big plans for me.
But it seems every dream I have just keeps falling apart.
I hope one day I see the paradise that you tell me is in store.
And not the black storm clouds that are always at my door.
You guarantee me of a future full of bliss and tell me it's something I don't want to miss.
But all I have felt is simply depressed.
You tell me everyone will like the brand new me, but instead most people hate the person I've become.
They tell me I'm too negative and can't stand to be my friend.
They wish I could see the good things I should be thankful for.
But all I see is darkness and everything that is wrong.
You've robbed me of my dreams and what the future has in store.
Instead of looking forward to my future, all I can think of is the torture that's in store.
That's when you promise through all of my pain there will be great gains.
You tell me I'll be beautiful, but right now I just hate the reflection.
You cloudy up my mind and make me fall behind.
I don't see things for what they really are, my eyes see everything distorted from up close or afar.
What's to be of my future? I'm not so sure.
People say if I stay with you that my future will be non existent.
But if I choose to leave you my world seems so unsure.
Right now my life is lived second by second, never looking ahead for what's in store.
For right now since you're with me I hope what you promise is true.
So many promises have been broken leaving my heart torn in two.
I wouldn't know what to do without you. You tell me you love me and want the best for me.
But how do you know what that is? It's still unclear to me.
Oh how I wish I knew just what to do.
Are you the best thing to happen to me or a nightmare that will forever haunt me?
I hope one day I can sort this all out and do whatever is best for me and live with my decision happily.
Will you make me happy or bring others tragedy? Can I live with you forever or one day will I die?
This is a secret you haven't shared with me, but others are worried for me.
Do they have a reason to be or are they just plain nuts?
Because you really care about me and would never think of hurting me.
You and me are closer then close. So I have a wall up whee nobody can go.
I keep them in the dark, so they can't ee the horror that you bring me.
But you also bring me peace and a gentle calmness in my world of chaos and complete utter mess.
You're as big and scary as a monster, but invisible and nothing to the rest.
They don't understand the relationship we have and all of the things you have put me through.
I have stood up to your test time and time again. But is that admitting defeat or clamming victory.
You look at it one way and others disagree. So I'm left to figure it out for myself.
This is where there is a problem because everyone tends to walk away.
Leaving you and me to sort it out together. Because of this you always claim victory.
And when others realize later they declare defeat.
It comes down to who is there to support me and guide me on my way.
And we know who that is because YOU 've given up. YOU no longer care to help me.
So inside I feel destroyed and he is waiting there to comfort me from the pain you've caused inside.
Instead of focusing on the emotion we focus on the outside and everything we can change.
You help me to mask the pain but I'm still hurting on the inside.
You tell me to stay focused on your goal and don't worry about the inside.
And things will come together as they always do. You give me your hand and lead me on the way.
And I'm happy to follow if you'll ease the pain and help me to forget all of the bad things.
This is what keeps me coming to you.
They tell me you are bad for me and I'm jeopardizing my health. But this can't be,
because of how long you've been with me. If that was true something would have happened by now.
But it's true you do cause death. It's happened before but you promise it won't to me.
You are the truest friend I have ever known but you teach me some things I shouldn't know.
You also make me feel that I'm not good enough, but if I follow you, I'll be on top.
On top of the world is how you promise I'll feel, if I stick to the plan and follow your rules.
The guidelines you have set are impossible to meet. But you promise the impossible will become possible to me.
If I just keep practicing and following your ways. So I keep striving to please you every single day.
Everything I do is based on perfection. If I mess up I've failed for the day.
It brings me down and makes me sad. But it doesn't stop me from trying the next day.
Always giving it my all to a goal unattainable.
It's like a roller coaster, it goes up and comes down sometimes it even spins around there's sharp curves ahead even loop-de-loops.
You've think it's come to an end and then it just restarts. Sometimes it goes fast and other times really slow. There's a way to get on and a way to get off.
You have to be strong enough to choose the best path for you. This is when you need others around.
But if you live my life, there is no one to be found. So I always settle for what is comfortable.
Choosing the path of destruction, I've been down so many times before.
It might be the wrong one but I know I'll always have company, encouraging me to be the 'best' me.
The other path is unknown and foreign to me and I'd have to walk it alone with no one supporting me. It would be unknown and new and I choose to be comfy. Because it's all I've ever known as far back as I can remember.
You're my oldest friend I know even though you could be my worst enemy.
Sometimes you pick me up and sometime you put me down.
We have a special bond, I like math and you like counting. So my life is ruled by numbers.
Calories in and calories out, scale goes up and scale goes down. Numbers are what makes my world go round.
Happy, sad, good or bad, It all is simply based on a number.
Will I ever get a break of these mental games you play? The ups and down and high and lows.
The mixed emotions that no one knows. I hide them inside my heart, where no one can see how much I'm hurt.
But the truth is it's jut too complicated, YOU wouldn't understand the feeling I feel unless he lives inside of YOU too.
Sometimes I think it's a demon or the devil that lives inside of my messed up head.
I wish I could explain all I go through on a daily basis. But it's not possible to understand unless YOU've walked in these shoes. And I hope that never happens to YOU.
It's like an addiction that never goes away. It never leaves me alone. But that gives me some comfort and hope that I have someone who understands.
He might not be a good influence, but I can always count on him to be there for me.
He knows what he's doing and how to play the game. He's got control of my mind and brain and makes me feel completely drained.
But without him I'd be lost everyday, he's the one constant I have in my life. Because I've learned hard friends come and go. A few hang around when you're doing good, but no one wants to go through the dark with you.
So you are left alone to your own devices. That's when he swoops in and butters you up.
He promises of a grand tomorrow where you will not know sorrow.
Some people says it's lies he promises. But he'll use his charm to get to you.
And you'll believe everything and hang on to every word he has to say.
This is how you get reeled in to his ways. You turn to him like you always do. Nobody else was there what could you do?
You give your trust over to him, when he reaches out and lends you his hand and guides you on you way.
He treats you like a best friend, until he can't have his way. That's when it's a whole another story. This is when the evil comes out and takes away any glory.
He becomes mean and repulsive and makes you take the blame.
You aren't allowed to go out with friends or family. He wants you all to himself and no one is allowed in.
You do as he asks and put up the wall. To block everyone out and be alone with him.
He's taken over your life and you have no other friends. Everyday you are devoted strictly to him.
Doing as he wishes just the right way. Giving up hope and giving in to him. Doing everything you can to please him. Wanting to do it right and get it just perfect. Pushing away anyone who stands in your way. Until the only one left to count on is him. He has sucked you into his game. It's now you and him alone. With his strict set of rules that you must follow and abide by to reach the goal of perfection. If you don't measure up and follow in his ways he'll call you fat and stupid until you completely give in.
You wish you could get better and get rid of him. But he's always there calling and you just can't seem to win.
You want to be free of the rules and head games. You wish and hope it would just all go away.
You pray for a better life then this. You hope one day you will know what it's like to feel bliss.
You've tried hard to kick him to the curb but he's got a grip on you that you can't shake loose.
Sometimes you are able to act like he's not there but then something happens the next day.
You've tried really hard to do it on your own. you even went to treatment and weren't able to get better.
So maybe it's hopeless and you're right to give in. Maybe it's not possible to get rid of him.
Maybe he'll be there for the rest of your life. Haunting you every morning, day and night.
But then you start thinking maybe it's not that bad because he's always there for you no matter what you're going through.
You think maybe there's a bright side to this thing. You know of all the promises of great things.
So you hang on to hope this could actually be a good thing.
You pray with all your heart that God will help lead the way. And help you sort out the right from the wrong.
And that He will bless you every single day, no matter what path you're traveling on.
You are torn on who to listen to. him or Him which calling is stronger.
You are fighting him with all your might but the voices are stronger then your own
They keep telling you of good things that could come if you just follow his way.
So thinking and hoping you can feel better you decide to listen to the 'devil'
You dream and imagine of the body you can have. And hope that you can stay very disciplined.
And do just as he says thinking of all the joy and happiness that he promises will come if you can just get a few sizes smaller.
So you give it all your might and try harder and harder every night.
Striving for perfection in everything you do. You hope you won't fail him because that is when you feel blue.
You do your best to stick to every rule. Hoping to find the happiness you desire. Not understanding that happiness comes from within. You pray and hope that you will become really thin.
Everyday he pushes you further and further. You must keep up or you're not good enough.
Each day becomes harder and harder. Emotionally, physically and mentally you become drained.
But you still make sure to exercise everyday.
You've become numb and void but still listen to him; for you're still able to think of the good things he said would come.
So even though you're zapped of all your energy you muster up some strength to continue to play his game.
He always wins and you always lose but you continue to hope one day you'll rule.
But the truth is in his game you can never rule because he sets up all the rules.
He is the one holding all the power. And in reality you're sinking lower and lower.
You're fading away in body and brain. Your thinking is not right.
You look in the mirror with bones sticking out but that still isn't enough. You keep hoping you will get smaller and smaller.
But will it ever be enough because even though there are bones all you can see is the fat.
You cry your eyes out and pray it will go away. You hope tomorrow will be a better day.
But will you ever have one when you are never good enough. Does this so called perfect world exist.
Is there and end to this that brings happiness? Or were your friends telling you the truth.
When telling you he was just lying to you.
But he made you feel special and seemed to really care.
So is it some imaginary con or true love? You have yet to feel the things he promises.
And you are unsure of what to think about that.
Once again you are torn in two. Will you let him continue to control you? or will you walk away and say screw you?
Can you walk away or are you too deep in the game?
What kind of ending do you want to see?
One where you lived your life in vain? or (vein, whichever)
Where you did everything to please someone who doesn't really exist; he's just a person living inside you head. His so called goal of perfection, is something in reality you can never attain. It's something that can kill you any day.
Or do you want one where you have to battle everyday.
Always fighting to live life your way. Where you are the one who sets the rules that you can really measure up to. And there is no demon inside your head. You are free to feel any emotion that comes. You are able to deal with the bad and know what it's like to be glad.
But this is a big decision in which you have to choose...
Which life do you want for you?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Festivus Fat@$$ 50k

-So I will start out by saying I won overall in a time of 3:56:59.
-So since before Worlds I have been having pain in my left leg. In my hip, butt, knee, quad, hamstring and shin. So almost my whole left leg. I had pain in my left butt, hip, knee, hamstring and that lower bone on your back before I left for Idaho. Then when in Idaho the pain went away until a few days before I left for Worlds but I didn't say anything because I wanted to run. So I have been dealing with this pain since back in September but it went away for a few weeks then returned late October and has been back ever since in more spots. But I have just been pushing through and dealing with it, mainly because I haven't really done much hard since Worlds. I did that half marathon in 1:27 a few weeks ago, but as far as training goes I haven't done much hard. So the pain hadn't gotten intense as it was before Idaho when I was trying to do quick paced workouts on it and would be in so much pain my leg would lock and I was slowed down to probably 13 minute pace. I hadn't experienced that kind of pain for a few months. So I thought I was ok.
-So when my team decided not to use me for Club Nationals (don't ask) Dad found a 50k about 2 weeks out and decided why not go for it.

-So race morning comes, Dec 12th 8:30, and here we are in Columbus with my Uncle who is going to ride the bike with me and my Dad who has all the course mapped out so he could see me as many times as possible. Well we get our pre-race briefing and he tells us about the turn around spot and some other locations on the course. Thank goodness for Uncle Tom with the directions and him having, in his previous hay days running parts of the course (I would never have been able to follow it without him)(Heck we still didn't follow the whole thing somehow, and had to use the GPS to get the last few tenths in to get 31.1 miles(50k)). (But we did get it all in I promise!)( I wouldn't cheat myself like that, I'm one that would rather run 31.5 miles and call it 31.1 then run 30.8 and call it 31)

-Well anyways back to the race we started out and I knew one guy coming was hoping to go at least 4:00 if not 3:45. And I knew 2 good female runners that were coming 1 planning to do 26.2 miles and the other 20 miles. But no one started out when he told us we could go so I just had to look stupid and take off. It felt like a good pace and was right on pace with my National performance for the first few miles (6:48 first mile not out of control). At mile 7 I remember I was 49:10 so just over 7:01 pace and felt ok not struggling or laboring or tired just feeling the nagging pain in my left leg. But kept going. (Oh yea I should say Dad got out to see us on the course maybe 10 times, he ROCKS, but not so much at picture taking but I LOVE him anyways). Then I remember we slowed down a bit and I hit the half marathon in 1:34 plus. And somewhere between miles 12-14 I asked my Uncle to cut my leg off. I was in extreme pain but was pushing through it. Then I remember around 18 things just started to fall apart it was severe pain and by mile 20 my leg was locked in on a pace in the 8plus min/mile range and I couldn't get out of it. Even going down hill I couldn't. My Uncle was tying to get me to throw spurts in to try to unlock it but the pace didn't change. This continued until at least 25-26 miles. Then I was able to change my form or do something different because I was able to pick it back up into the 7 plus minute range for awhile. At the marathon I was around 3:19 so I knew if I didn't do something I wasn't going to get my "D goal" of at least breaking 4 hours. So I had to. At this point the pain was so bad and I had already totaled 7 extra strength pain reliever since before the race started. With around 3 miles to go of the course my Dad tells me the next guy was back about 3-4 minutes. So at this point I knew I was in trouble because I still had extra to add on from where me and my Uncle got lost. So I got to the start (it was an out-and-back course) and we had to do these little loops and I noticed the guy coming in hard but we managed to get to 31.1 miles on the gps before he finished.
-I really enjoyed this event and wish I would have had time to train for it to try to run it as more then just a fast training run. I hopefully can fit this on my calendar again to race in the future. I enjoyed myself, I only wish there was a way they could have marked the course we got lost a couple of times and took and extra set of stairs we didn't have to take, because you could have gone down underneath like we did on the way back in. We also went across the wrong bridge part way and one time on one of the sets of stairs I had to stop and wait for my Uncle because I wasn't sure where to go another time we came to an intersection and had to stop right at the split and figure out which way to go. So if there was some way it could be marked that would make it an A+ fat@$$ event. My Uncle thought he was going to hate it because it was so cold. I believe 17 degrees when we started with a 9 degree windchill. But he ended up enjoying himself and actually warmed up on the way back in. This is the first time he has got to see me in an ultra event. All in all (slow time, pain and all) it was still a fun event!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

New Training Plan Goal... What's up next?

OK so a lot has taken part in the last month and now I am back to having my father as my coach. This means the goal I had set earlier this month now has to change because it is just not possible anymore. In fact I don't know if it was possible in the first place. I hadn't told many people it but I might as well now since I am not going for it anymore. I was going to train to try to qualify for the Olympic Trials. To do so I needed to get my marathon down to a sub 2:46. We feel that we are not possible of making this happen. So now we are moving on to a new goal.

The question is what will that new goal be?????
-try to get a faster 50k
-first 50 miler
-try to get on the 100k world cup team
-do my first timed event

and when I figure out which ...... WHERE?????

I might have more to say on this later so stay tuned.........

Monday, November 23, 2009

Cleveland Fall Classic

-So last week we decided I needed to do a holiday race, but they were all too short, then I found the Cleveland Fall Classic Half Marathon on Sunday.

-My week of training was horrible. I had my worst workout in a long time on Monday and had lost my love of running had another bad workout Tuesday. So the rest of the week was pretty much a joke of training until Thursday I got the love back on a fartlek short 6 mile run. We had pretty much decided we were not going to do the race until this day and Dad still wasn't sure after this. So Friday came and the love was still there, I just went easy but I wanted to be out there. So I told Dad I wanted to go. So Saturday we headed up to Rocky River (?) (Cleveland) to pick up my race packet. Then headed to the Akron area to stay with my brother, Ryan, and Kendra because they were only 45 minutes from the race as opposed to 3-4 hours. (Thanks guys I enjoyed spending time with you and love your house.)

-So Sunday comes around I get up at 4:15 not because I have to but because that is normal. So I played on my computer and wrote some poems and got ready early. 7am came and we headed out the door to go to the race. We found the parking lot they told us to park in which was forever away from the actual race spot. We got there just in time to go to the restroom stretch and warm up then straight from there we had to walk over to the start area, change shoes, get gels ready, number on, stride throughs, ect..

-Before the race I had told Dad I was going to go out whatever pace the leading lady was. Well I followed that but have no clue as to what pace we were going because as we got to the mile mark the guy told us the time 5:50 but then told us that this was not the correct spot it was short. PHEW! (but then again that was the easiest sub 6 mile ever LOL). After the mile mark I just kinda pulled away. The course was a 2 loop course kinda out and back. But the bad thing was they also had a 5k start after the half marathon. And when the runners I was keying off of and the ones I was running with got to the intersection where 5k an half marathoners came together it was a taffic jam. I couldn't see the people I was trying to catch up to, me and the guy with me had to zig-zag everywhere to get through the 5k runners. It was truly a mess and my poor Dad over at the side when he saw me had no clue what place I was in. Until I told him I was leading the half. I had this one guy I called the guy in the yellow shirt. He was not liking a female running beside him, everytime I got up beside him he would spurt away then fall right back we were doing this for a few miles before he finally said something to me, so then we started to cheer for each other as we went back and forth until about mile 10 when I went past and he didn't follow. Then my problem was the last 5k I got myself in no mans land, like normal, and I saw at the turn around point I had about 2 min 20 secs on the 2nd place female, which was a different female then was there the first loop, so I knew she was strong. So I just had to not lose 2 minutes in the last 5k. Then I got scared because maybe with 1.1 miles left or so the half marathoners still heading out one guy started yelling for a Jennifer like she was about to come up and over take me and I thought this was going to be a sprint to the finish and we all know how that would have turned out. But as it went I pulled off the win in 1:27:26(unofficially,I started further back on the line and didn't start my watch until I got to the start line so I am not sure of the official), I am not exactly sure by how much but I think it was around the 2 minutes that I won by. They gave the awards right at the finish and I got this AWESOME looking trophy and a medal too. Then we headed over to the food and it apperared the 5k'rs had ate it all. And just as we were getting ready to leave they brought some more out. SCORE! It was a pretty good race. Had plenty of volunteers to help (thank you) and things went smoothly besides the first mile marker and the 5k congestion and confusion. Way to go CWRRC awesome job!!! Made it worth the drive. Thanks!

Mile Splits (I think some of these were off because I don't think I was jumping around so much pace wise)
1-5:50 (short)
2-6:49(long) (12:39)
3-6:24 (19:04)
4-6:37 (25:42)
5-6:28 (32:10)
6-6:39 (38:50)
Half Marathon- 1:27:26

Not quite the time I was shooting for (1:26). A long way off my PR of 1:24:52 but I think it might be my second fastest time ever.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

World Trophy 50k Trip

Tuesday to Wednesday- Trip started at 3:10 am. I stayed at Joe's house because he was taking me to the airport. We got out and hit the road by 3:30am. Not soon after starting out did we get trapped in a complete white out. You could not see the road at all. It was horible we were afraid we were going to be late as my flight was leaving I believe at 6:50am. Well we dealt with some more white out conditions but finally made our way to Idaho Falls, only 5-10 minutes later then planned. Well when we got there we found out the airport didn't open until 5:30 so we had to sit and wait. Finally we got our tickets, some lady helped us however later on my trip I found out she did not print my final ticket to Malaga so I had to ask the lady in JFK for one. But ok back to the trip when I got to the gate jst as we were suppose to board the plane they changed gates on us and we all had to go downstairs to a new one. Well then finally I made it to my next destination SLC. From there I made my way to JFK in NY. From there I made my way to Barcelona on Wednesday for a 6 plus hour layover. OMGoodness that airpot was horrible. I couldn't figure out what aything was. Everything was written in Spanish and I never took Spanish so I had no idea what was what. So finding something to eat was hard. And that place didn't have any like little stores with snacks or chips or anything it had designer clothing stores and such there. And not to metnion here I lost all contact with the outside world, no internet, no phone no communication period. Well after 6 hours of nothing It was time for my flight to Malaga. When arriving in Malaga they were suppose to send someone to pick us up. Well I couldn't find him and I tred to make a phone call and that wouldn't work, just when I was about to breakdown someone with an IAU sign appeared. We had over an hour ride to Gibraltar. The guy that took me was really nice and was telling me about the place and things. So I arrived at the Europa Retreat Center around 5pm and got my stuff up to my room and went out for a run. OMGoodness I will have to tell you about running there later. But I made my way back and asked about the internet we wee suppose to have and the guy had no clue what I was talking about. GREAT. So I got myself situated and what not and eventually just went to bed.

Thursday- Morning came and I met Jill in the cafe, we decided to go into town and do the touristy thing after we both ran. We went to a mueseum, the gardens, looked at the shops, ate at a cafe, then even went and crossed the border into Spain and back. We walked for hours, my legs were feeling it and I was so afraid I was going to ruin myself for my race.

Friday- Ahh rest day. A lot of people went out to see the apes this day but with it the day before the race and needing to climb up and down the rock to see them I passed. I did my pre-race run and that was it. The rest of the day I rested. I wrote some of my post cards, played on my computer, talked to some other athletes and just relaxed.

Saturday- RACE DAY. The race wasn't until 2:30 pm so to calm the nerves I had to find something to do and our internet at the retreat center wasn't working. So I wrote all the rest of my post cards.

Race Report- As far as a real race report I don't really have that much. It started with them taking us down to the light house at 1pm where it was foggy and misty (the race started at 2:30 pm and my Uncle said the temperature at the start was 78 F). The course had to be changed so many times they just got the final course set up the week of the race. And I heard so many complaints about it. We went though a ship yard and you were constantly turning either direction. There were 2 hills. They were both big to me, but most people only complained about one being bad. The course was set up so we would go out on the course or a 1k and come back a 1k then head out for 4k and come back the same 4k for an 8k out and back and we would do this 6 times. So this meant we had to do the big hill 7 times.

SO I started out with the race plan. I did what I was suppose to do for around 4 or so miles. The course was suppose to be marked every 5k which is was not I think I have 4 different splits and one was 46k because all you had to do was the final 4k at the turn around, could have figured out that mark on my own. SO I stated out on pace and doing what I was told to do. And I ended up running with Jill at the beginning of the race. Then she wanted to slow down so I ended up leaving her. When I left her, I just went for it. I had my mantra in my head and just went with it. On the second loop I ended up passing Monica (from Italy, the 2009 3rd place finisher at the 100k Worlds) I don't know what happened to her, se just had a bad loop or something, she didn't speak English very well so when I passed I gave her a thumbs up and went on my way. At one end near the turn around I got to see and cheer for Kami again and tell her that no one was coming. That is what was neat about the course, you could constantly cheer for the other runners. Well eventually as things were bound to happen Monica passed me back so now I was in 3rd and next thing I knew I was in 5th. Which was higher then I was ranked. (Before the race they ranked the top 5 girls and 3rd, 4th, and 5th had times of 3:39, 3:39, 3:40 coming in and I only had a 3:46. So I was satisfied running 5th. All three girls ranked 3rd, 4th, and 5th were behind me. I feel into my spot at 5th and got content. I noticed that 4th place was too far ahead and each lap 6th, 7th, and 8th were getting further and further back. So I got content and just survived the finally 16k and the hills. My goal became just get up the hill then keep moving. I started cheering for my competitors at this point not just my teammates. I had fun. I finished in a slow time of 3:52:38 A LOT slower then what we had hoped for. But for the conditions of the weather and the course and my first international competition and 2nd 50k ever. I'll take it.

Side Notes- I got myself behind on fluids early. Me and Jill came into the 6k aid station together so I didn't get any fluids and wasn't able to get any until the next aid station at 10k so I got myself behind on fluids early. I messed up timing on my gels and never got it back then couldn't take them after so long. I tried my 4th one and it just wouldn't go down, so I had 3 gels the whole time. I had trouble with the salt stixs and tylenol too. But I tried my best, it's all new doing most of the work on your own. We were blessed by Matthew Wardian, Mike's brother to have him at the far end of the 4k out and back and he handed me my gatorade each time but the first and gave me some gels so I didn't have to wear 2 tank tops in that heat. Also on the front end were Kami's husband Tyson and their daughter and Jessica, Justin's wife to help. But from that aid station I mainly took the horrible carbonated orange energy drink they had. They also had sponges out on the course and I have never used them before but was greatful for them. I still have a lot to learn.

Sunday- Breakfast came and some of us met up and me and Jill decided to go for a 30 minute run. I wanted to go more because I wasn't feeling any effects of the race at the time. But we had plans. Kami, Jill, Lesley (South Africa), and myself payed the toll to walk up to the top of the rock area and see St Michael's cave and the castle and a few other things including the apes that were just hanging aound. Eventually on the trip Michael and Matthew Wardian caught up with us. After walking from about 9:30 to 12:30 we headed back to lunch. After lunch I headed into town alone to see if I could find a place to use the internet. So I walked around or 2 plus more hours tying to find a place, but was unsuccessful which is crazy because the next day right at the bus stop I found the internet place. But as I was waiting to get back on the bus the Japanese team manager came up and wanted to have coffee before we headed back so I got me a diet coke and talked with him about the race and everything.

Monday- Everyone from my team was gone. SO I got up and what not and then went out for my hour run. Then cleaned up and headed into town this time I was able to find the internet place :)
Tuesday- My extra day there. The day I was leaving. I headed back into the internet place before leaving.......... and I am not even going to talk about the NIGHTMARE trip home.
I am just finishing because it's been long enough and I don't care anymore and have a new race to write about.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Time in Idaho

**This is unfinshed and unedited, late and all over the place but I thought some might like to hear what went on in Idaho.

Well since I have some free time and i haven't done a very good job of keeping everyone up to date on what has been going on with me in my final preparations for the World Trophy 50k Championship. Back in September around the 27th I came out to Idaho to train with my coach Lisa Smith-Batchen for WTC. My first run here was an eventful one. Mohamad, winner of the Marathon des Sables was out here for a camp the Dreamchaser Events were putting on. Well we went out on a long run that was suppose to run 22-24 miles. And things were going great. Coach was crewing us along with her husband Jay and well then things turned for the worse. See there is a bit of a communication barrier between Mohamad and myself. And when he told me we were back at the house I said no that couldn't be we hadn't been out there for long enough and so we kept running for another 50 minutes that is. Until I just couldn't do it. I knew something wasn't right and I should not be running any further. But foward we went walking now. At this point we had both been out of water and calories for an hour. Then Mohamad flagged someone down in his car who just happened to be a biker and had water he could give us. So that got us off for a little while. So onward we went still looking for the house (at least in my head) until we ran out of water again this time we were able to make some communication and it wasn't good news. Mohamad said back when he told me that was the house that it was back that way. So we turned aound and stated to walk. Eventually Mohamad took off running back but soon after Coach came out with her van. We had been out fom 11 am to 4 pm. It might sound like fun but when it's your first day in a new place it's not so much fun. I can look back and laugh now but not at the time it happened.

So things got better I was able to learn my way around for the most part. With a few exceptions..... LMFAO..... Let's just say during camp I was never allowed to lead. So as I said coach, Jay and Joe and the Dreamchasers had a camp going on during my stay here that I was able to participate in some of. During that time i go to run on some trails and even some sand dunes. I met some great people.

During my stay here I also got to run with some great people. As said earlier Mohamad, as well as Jay, Joe an unbelieveable guy that works for them, a guy that also coaches named Ryan who helped me out a lot, Kathy an unbelieveable nice lady, and Mike a really nice ultra runner friend of Jay and Coach.

I also did somethings that I hadn't done in years, I got out and did some things. One thing was during camp we went out to a bar called the Cowboy Bar (no I didn't drink) but they had seats like a saddle (no I would not sit on one either). Then I went out to dinner and a movie with 2 of Jay and Coach's friends. (it's been forever since I've done something like that) I also went out to the drive in movies with Coach and the family. Also I made dinner with Joe for a few people and we will never discuss anything about a wooden spoon. We also had dinner at friends houses or thier house with others quite a few times. Another thing I did was go shopping with coach and her adorable daughters and found 2 pair of jeans at a 2nd hand store that fit (for now).

Believe it or not I also did some running while I was out here. I ran a marathon in Boise my 2nd week here and won it and set a personal record in 3:01:43. I did my first workout of hill repeats. I ran up my first mountain. Ran my first sand dunes. And the worst part of running.... tapering.... :(

Also one of my main reasons for coming here working on my eating disorder. I have made tremendous progress in this. I have gained the required weight. And have been eating 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. I have not done that since leaving Remuda Ranch last year in August. I have ate out at restaurants, haven't done that in years either.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Week Recap and News Article

OK so as most of you know by know I am fortunate enough to be working with the amazing Lisa Smith-Batchen, as a coach for the World Trophy Championships 50k. However, soon after we started training, my body betrayed us. Something happened and I have pain in the back on the knob on my left side and the pain then spreads to the hip and the butt and some other areas. So the past couple of weeks it's been trying to just get through it however I could. Last week however on Thursday is when the extreme pain kicked in. I was only able to come out with 60 miles for the week:

Monday- 10 miles (2x5mile loop stretch in middle)

Tuesday- 10 miles (2x5mile loop stretch in middle)

Wednesday-14 total- 7:45 am 8 miles "good" pace 57:51=7:13/mile :)

PM 6 miles- 1 easy-4 "race" pace- 1 easy= 26:50=6:43.5/mile :(

Thursday- TOO MUCH PAIN- 4 miles walked 40 minutes

Friday-7 miles(was suppose to do 8 miles but walk some but it hurt too muh to start up each time so I cmpromised and ran 7 straight)

Saturday-7 miles(didn't get to talk to coach :-( about what to do so I just did the same thing)

Sunday-8 miles (didn't get to talk to coach :-( so did what I had done before but needed the extra mile mentally)

So this was a week full of PAIN especially starting on Thursday. But somehow I got through and we pushed on for this week still having pain but doing different things to try to solve it. But it hurts if I run or if I don't run so I'm not going to stop something I love just because it hurts when it hurts at all times. So Tuesday we tried the first thing at not "easy" pace and went for "good" pace so see what would happen. And we went from there.

So Monday- again 10 miles (2x5 mile loop)- 50 minute walk

Tuesday- 11 total miles- 6 miles "good pace" and 5 miles "easy" but keep under 9:00.... 6 good=42:15 (7:02.5/mile) total time 1:22:52= (7:32/mile) definitely :)

Wednesday-12 miles (subbed) PAIN- suppose to be 12 Good around 7:15... couldn't do it too much pain wanted to quit whole time-1:30:06 (7:30.5/mile) too slow- :(

Thursday- 14 miles- suppose to be Good Pace 7:15-20 push hills- ended up 1:37:57 (6:59/mile)*This is the day I will compare splits with a run pre-nationals.

Friday-10 miles- Easy I guess nothing in my book.

Saturday- 15 miles-was suppose to be easy to good pace- but instead it was extremely slow pace-didn't time it just could tell

Sunday- 18 miles- after yesterday's slow pace I put myself back on the watch for some of it. I was suppose to do 18 but things happened and Dad was not able to get out on the course so I did my 10k loop we set up to simulate World Trophys' course so this was going to be 18.6 well you know me it has to end in .5 or 0.. well 19 was too much coach said 18, so I took .1 by going the short way out on the last on for 18.5...1st 10k- 46:33 (7:30/mile)...2nd 10k 45:39 (7:21/mile) overall 20k 7:26/mile. We arent going to even discuss the disaster that happened on the last loop- But still pleased none-the-less.

Ok now I wanted to look back in my book and compare the times I was running before Nationals. I thought I was way behind what I was running then but apparently not.

This is what I did for a 14 miler/13 timed on Feb 1st....(race was March 1st)

1- easy warm up














So for 13 miles= 1:38:36

So on September 10th ..(my race is Oct 31) I ran 14 miles in

1- 7:04






7-6:50 (got to turn around good goal became keep under 7:15 except mountain mile)








So 14 miles in 1:37:57

So when I ran 3:46:30 I ran a 13 miler in 1:38:36 and now I ran a 14 miler in 1:37:57

-I can't help but to think this is a good thing, a good sign of things to come (now I've probably jinxed myself)

It's been too long since I started writing this so I forget whatelse I wanted to say but wanted to show you the improvement and how my week had been going.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A Real Coach

I have this new coach
Who believes in me
I now have less then 2 months to make her pleased
It's going to take some hard work and luck I'm sure
But I'll run and run and run some more
I'll put my faith and trust in you
By doing whatever you tell me to
I might not get it right everytime
But I promise I'll work off my behind
I'll give it my all with every test
Although I might not be the very best
I'll lay it on the line with all of my heart
And be so thankful you have given me a new start
Others said "No, they couldn't do it"
Because of my 'secret' I admit
But you understand and trust in me
You promised you won't leave, You wouldn't do that to me
But I haven't given you a reason to stick with me
In fact I've given you a million to run and flee
I ask to many questions and I am poor
So taking me on is such a BIG chore
But you put up with it everyday
Even though I can be a HUGE pain
You put that aside and never compain........... (to me)
And you have brought me much missed glee
In one simple run, How could you do that?
But you know what you're doing and that is a fact
I'll miss you and your coaching when the time comes
When the Worlds will be over and all of that is done
But I am going to enjoy the time we have in hand
And listen very strictly to your big plan
I have a big goal and you know it too
I have so many dreams I want to come true
And with you I might get to see one through
But time will tell just like a race
You never know until you finish your race
Here is where 'll finsih my tribute to you
And all of the good things you plan to do!

First Real 2aday

"I may be disappointed if I fail, but I am doomed if I don't try in the first place."
My amazing friend Laura P gave me this quote and it is so true because I could have easily said this is too hard and I can't do it and not have attempted it.

So I was extremely anxious and nervous about Wednesday's workout. I was doing a 2aday and that also meant running in the morning. I have never been able to run good in the morning and have always been awful at running twice in one day. Especially with the workout I had ahead of me were my nerves bad.

So the first run of the day was suppose to be 8 miles at a good pace. What exactly is good pace, well it is where you can have a conversation but still be pushing it (I think I have that right???). Well I talked to Dad before I went out and we agreed that 7:30 would probably be the right pace but since it was going to be my first timed morning run we figured just breaking 8's would be good. So I set off at 7:45 am (I got up at 5 something but had to have something in my stomach so ate the got ready and stretched) so it was 7:45 before I left. So I set out for 8's but that didn't last long(in a good way). I kept checking myself and asking, to myself, could I talk at this pace. Well here are my splits.
1- 7:49
4- 7:09
5- 7:14
6-7:18 (3:51 up mountain which is good since last time I was 4:04)
7-6:55(3:25) (slowed down after the half)
8-6:49(at worse 3:25 missed mark)(after previous mile swore I hit the brakes)

So 8 miles in 57:51/ 7:13 pace- So this was very exciting to me I was on an extreme high for a long time from this run. Because I knew I could have gone harder and that I did the pace I was suppose to. And I finally got a workout right for coach and a morning one at that!!!

So 5:30 pm- evening run- I had gotten extremely anxious for- so to calm them before hand I did what coach suggested. What she had suggested was I write a poem aboout the happiness I felt and take a "nap." So the evening run was suppose to be 1 easy- 4 "hard"-1 easy. So I went out on my 20 mile couse and back. I wasn't exactly sure what she meant by hard/race pace. 4 mile race pace or 50k race pace?????? With it being the 2nd run and everything I just wanted to break 7's. Here are my splits:
3-6:43.79 (13:30.54)

So 4 miles in 26:50 or about 6:42.5/mile- not sure just ok.

SO all in all one was good and one was ok. But this is definitely a step in the right direction for me. I thought I was getting myself out of shape the past few weeks but the first run was a confidence booster for me. Again I am proud of myself for trying.
"I may be disappointed if I fail, but I am doomed if I don't try in the first place."

Sunday, August 30, 2009

First Blow/Failure

So hoping writing on this will help me feel better. I guess my first workout didn't go as good as planned. The line up was:

2 miles warm-up
2x50 butt kicks
2x50 skips
4x1 mile- 90% HR(with drink and 400 jog recovery)
1x10 min. stairs alternating (1-step and 2-step)
5 mile cool-down

Going into the workout I didn't know what the miles were suppose to be exactly.

Well here is what transpired-

2.2 mile warm-up (don't ask)
2x50 butt kicks
2x50 skips
4x1mile (5:55, 6:03, 6:06, 6:03)(400j recovery/drink)
1x10min stairs (alternating)
5.3 mile cool-down(don't ask)

Later I found out the miles were suppose to be in around 5:45-5:50. So I have an extremely long way to go to get where I need to be.

I am so let down. I have disappointed another coach. This seems to be the story of my life. And this was on the first workout with her. If she was smart she would pull out NOW after finding out I'm not as good of a runner as she thought. I feel like a disappointment, a letdown, a failure you name it and I feel like it.

She is amazing for taking me on and trying to get me to be my best but we have a long way to go apparently and not much time (2 months including the taper so really less then that). I am not sure this is going to happen. Either she is going to drop me(like she has every right to) or I am just not good enough to be as good as she thought......

Got a workout today built in to my long run, first time I have ever done anything like this. Let's hope it goes A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT better. I need it mentally. I am losing my confidence and doubting myself.

PS- Thanks for all the people that are trying to help my dream come true by getting me to Spain. To compete with the best in the World. You are 1 in 100 million. Truly a special person. May you have all the best.

Friday, August 28, 2009


Ouch someone doesn't believe in my running

Apparently a few people don't maybe I shouldn't have made this poll or put the slower times there. Glad I didn't put any slower.

It's funny because when I ran 3:46 I couldn't break 20 mins in a 5k and was 1:30 in the half marathon. And now I can run 18:19 in the 5k and 1:24 in the half marathon. Yet people think I am going to be slower.


Of all of the dreams in the World
One so big would be absurd
To be the last one in the pack
And have everybody laugh

To be the last one with all the pity claps
And be dead last on every lap
To continue to train really hard
Although I was told I'll never go far
My dreams were as big as the stars

I'd continue to train through all of the bad
Through everything that was thrown at me and made me sad
For all the words that would hurt
For everything I had to endure
For all the pain I hid inside
For all the times she made me cry
Through all the adversity I had to face
But never forgetting that one special place
Where all of my dreams of being good would escape

Settings would change and so would I
I found a new race where I could keep pace
But with all of the dreams I've had
No would could ever imagine God had this in plan
All of the dreams he has for me
Will we ever see how good I can be
I couldn't do it without him that's for sure
And now what's left is to see what's in store

He has given me a coach with a new plan
Who believes in me and thinks I can
That all of my dreams could possibly come true

How could I go from being dead last and called fat
To someone with a dream that was once called absurd

Changes to come

I'll probably add more later but I wanted to add it now.........

Big changes are coming you've yet to see
The best runner in me that I can be
I'm scared of the changes yet to be made
But it's time I take this leap of faith
I'll give over my trust to someone I don't know
But because of this I will grow
I'll be free of my past and the harm that was done
But won't be on this new journey alone
She'll be with me to guide my path
(And hopefully never put pressure because I'm too fat But I highly doubt she'll do that)
She wants to lead me to be the best runner that I can be
She believes in me and thinks I can go far
No one outside my family has ever thought that
She'll be like my mentor and show me the way
But I have to believe and follow her way
She'll tell me what I did right and what I did wrong
But can I stand the pressure that might come my way
I've always had my Dad to run to when it would come
But now I have to grow up and stand on my own
And give over my trust to something unknown
I don't have much time of this I know
It is dwindling down day by day
But so much work I have left to do
She's going to need a miracle to get me in race shape
To get me to the place that I'll run great
I've got a big goal of few I've told
I'm afraid I won't reach it and don't want anyone to know
It's going to take a drop bigger then most
I've got to work harder then anyone knows
I want to prove myself and be the best I can be
I've got about 2 months for it all to turn around
She's going to need a miracle to get me to my goal
Maybe I should change it but that's not something I want to do
I'm going to give it my all and learn to trust again
For there was a reason we were brought together
Maybe she holds the perfect plan that God and her have designed
Maybe she can erase my past and give me the chance to be my best at last,.....tbc possibly

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Update on the Spain Situation

Well after things earlier this week looked extremely down with finding out because of my parents having to pay my car bill, car insurance and phone bill they are having to hold some of their bills for it. Well then God Blessed me with 3 days subbing this year already, could be possibly more to come. Well so I thought I was going to add $200 to my soon to be open Spain Trip Only Bank Account. But instead that money has to go to my parents to make the their bills. Which is rightfully theirs.

Well today a runner/coach named Dara Ford has just donated some money to help get me to Spain. This money will allow me to take my first step towards getting there. I am also lucky enough to have been given the help by some other facebook friends, Lisa Smith-Batchen and Claire Mchugh Gilles. These 2 ladies are helping collect money from other amazing ultra runners to help make my dream come true. All I can say is THANK YOU to all who have donated to these ladies. You are truly amazing people. May God Bless and keep you safe in his arms. And Good Luck to you in all your running adventures that are ahead for you.

So things might be looking up. Thanks to the kindness of you. Especially to Dara, Claire, and Lisa. Also on Monday I was blessed by someone who did something amazing for me and I can't thank this person enough for what they did. They are also a part of helping to make my dreams come true. You are truly a kind kind person Thank you. So I am actually having a feeling that this might happen. That my dream might come true. That I might be headed to Spain for the World Trophy 50k Championships. And it is all because of the kindness of a few humans. But there is a glimmer of hope now.

I have a big goal that I need to do a lot a lot a lot of work to get there. But I am going to go out and give it my all for you. I want to make you proud.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.Aesop

Kindness, like a boomerang, always returns. ~Author Unknown

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

It's Official Spain here I (possibly) come and Last Week's Training

Ok So it is official now. I have the official invitation to Spain. And replied to them that I will be coming. Now ASAP I have to get my Ohio drivers license and Passport and need to do this pronto. But don't have the money. Dad is going to call my Uncle who said he would help. Next is trying to come up with the money for the flight.

Ok as far as training last week after Monday it went pretty good. The last 3 weeks I had slacked off training using Monday team nights as the only training run and have found myself to have not been in the shape I was earlier this season. So After coming home Monday from practice declaring I was going to quit running because I was horrible at it. I got an email asking for my email address to invite me to the World Trophy 50k in Gibraltar, Spain. Well this changed everything because I was training to run a 50 miler in 8:00 pace and now I have to drop down to 7:00 pace. So I have a lot of work to do. And we got started on it Tuesday even though I didn't have the official invitation yet. So here is how my week of training went after Monday's disaster

Monday-CRC Run- 13.5 miles -pace varying from 6:something to 8:something all over the place here.

Tuesday-Beginning Anew- 10 miles- with 3 mile warm-up- 24:47 (goal 24:00-24:45) (+2 sec)
1 mile- 6:18 (goal 7:00) (-42 sec) (3:07, 3:11)-1 mile total recovery back to 3 mile mark- 9:13 (no goal just recover)-1 mile- 6:10 (goal 7:00) (-50 sec) (3:07, 3:03)-1 mile total recovery back to 3 mile mark- 9:28 (no goal just recover)-3 mile cool down- 22:13 (goal 24:00-24:45) (-1:47)
Total 10 mile time= 1:18:11(7:49 pace overall)

Wednesday- 8 miles- suppose to keep it under 8:15 pace- 7:33, 7:20, 7:24, 7:21 (29:40), 7:20, 7:29(mountain), 7:15, 6:45 (3:24, 3:21) (28:52) = 58:32 (7:19 pace overall)

Thursday-14 miles- 10 x 1:30 and keep it under 8:15's- 7:37, 7:27 (1 x 1:30), 7:29 (1 x 1:30), 7:39 (1 x 1:30), 7:32 (1 x 1:30), 7:39 (1 x 1:30), 7:41 (1 x 1:30), 7:47 (1 x 1:30), 7:30 (1 x 1:30), 7:45 (1 x 1:30), 7:28 (1 x 1:30), 7:40 (mountain), 7:19, 7:25
14 miles with 10 x 1:30= 1:46:04 (7:34 pace overall)

Friday- 10 miles-keep it 7:30-7:45- messed up my watch hit stop button instead of lap button on one hlaf mile so only got a 9.5 mile time and not a 10 mile time- 7:24, 7:31, 7:28, 3:40 (.5), 7:23, 7:23, 7:16, 7:28(mountain), 6:56, 6:47
9.5miles=1:09:17 plus extra unaccounted for half mile (7:17 pace overall)

Saturday- 8 miles- 5 x 2 minutes- finally NO WATCH- except to do the 2 minutes

Sunday- 22.5 miles (could have been as much as 23.5 but I came up with it being 22.5)- Just some LSD- Long Slow Distance- at Highbanks park with Rob (who is a 2:50 marathoner)

Total week Mileage= 86 miles

Hoping this week goes even better, but had another rough Monday practice- so I'll guess we'll see.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Semi-Invitation to the World Trophy 50k- Season Recap

(The majority of this is from last week)

Wow what a week. I come home Monday from my team's practice declaring I was going to quit the one thing I love (besides family/friends), the one thing that makes me happy, the one thing live for, what I have been doing for 12 years. I was so upset I was running awful. (Training for my 50 miler at slower miles has put me behind everyone else. I have a lot of work to do) I was giving up but then I come home to find a message from a friend named Roy that wanted my email address so they could forward me the invitation to the World Trophy 50k in Gibraltar, Spain. Wow talk about timing from God. Then I 'patiently' awaited this invitation and well it never came until Thursday when it wasn't the invitation that I received yet but rather an email from the head guy saying by now you should have received an invitation to the race. Hmmm?? So I emailed him back and told him I haven't received it and he sent me a blank copy of what I should have gotten. And it doesn't directly state that you are invited it says "You will most likely be invited." It states this because there are still 3 races yet to be run with the last being Sept 19th. So it isn't official until then. But we have to email them whether we accept the invitation by Aug 31st.

Right now I am sitting ranked 13th with 3:46:30 (7.5 minutes out of 4th(3:39:00). The other American women that are invited Kami Semick (2nd 3:29:20), Jill Perry (6th 3:41:21) and Annette Bednosky (15th 3:47:59). These women are some great and fantastic women and runners, I am honored to be in their company, the weird thing for me is they all have sponsorships besides me. The American men that are invited are Michael Wardian (3rd 2:56:36) and Justin Fyffe(12th 3:06:49). Now besides Kami and Michael (who won the qualifying meet)(USA 50k National Championships- Caumsette) there is all a chance we might not get to go with 3 races left in the series. The website says it is inviting 40 athletes now whether that means 40 men and 40 women or a total of 40 athletes period makes a big difference.

For me this is a mixed blessing. I have been given that chance of a lifetime. But there is so much that is possibly stopping me from going. The first thing is I need a passport which cost $100 but in order to get a passport I need to get an Ohio license which I don't know how much it cost. Then what if I dish out this money that is non-existence and then don't get the official invite. The problem with money is right now I am down to $9 dollars from a race I won earlier in the month and I won't even tell you how much I have drained my parents back account to. And on top of this immediate needs, my shoes are dead both pairs. My body is aching because they are so dead and of course I have no money to get them, even with the generous discount I get from the Columbus Running Company for running on their team. They next thing to stop me from going is that we looked and tickets are like over $800. My Uncle Tom said he would help with what he could but I know he can't help with that much. The thing is we are fortunate enough to be getting 300 euros (approx. $420) but don't receive this until we get to Gibraltar. So you have to fork the money up upfront. We are lucky enough to be getting 5 days in a 'hotel' paid for. I am not sure about food, one page mentioned it and the other didn't. I also am not sure how we get from the airport to the athlete's village. I have so many questions left to be unanswered.

Update(8/17)- So I was told by the head guy to email him about whether or not we got the invite and I told him I hadn't. So well he sends me the blank copy of the invite and it says to let him know before the 31st whether we accept or not. So well I emailed him back, because I didn't have the email address of the person that was suppose to invite me saying I would go. And asking a question about the transportation. And then asking who I should direct the rest of my questions to. Well I got an email back that I took as rather rude. Telling me I just need not to worry about any of the questions until the invitation thing gets sorted out. Ok what am I suppose to do about that problem?? The whole email just gave off a rude feeling with it. This makes me feel like not wanting to go when someone can be so mean/rude to you for doing what you think is right.

But such a blessing this is in my life. I just don't know if this will all get to happen or not. I still can't believe this is happening. I can't believe this girl that was a 34 plus minute 5k runner that got all the pity claps time after time after time is being invited to an international competition. This is such a dream come true. Yes when I was running so slow I once dreamed I would be a good runner. I still have a long way to go to be a 'good' runner (depending on your term of the word, but to put things in perspective the American Record is 3:13 and I don't even know what the world record is). But still this is a huge improvement. Now I have done all the work over the past 12 years, besides he 67 days I was in treatment from June 20th-August 25, 2008. I have came a long way in a year too. When I started back up I was running 22 minute 5k's to now setting PR's in the 18's. (see below) Now it's all trying to pay off if things would just work financially.

Here is basically a recap of almost a year of running.

In treatment until August 25th

Aug 26th first day running Since June 19th

Sept 19th- Night Moves- 22:13- 4th
Oct 4th- Race for Vision- 22:04- 2nd
Jan 24th- Freezing Nose 4 miler- 25:15- 1st place (PR at time)
Feb 15th- Last Chance Half marathon- 1:30:12- 1st Place (PR at time)
Mar 1st- USA 50k Nationals (Caumsette)- 3:46:30- 3rd place (PR) Marathon PR(3:06:37)
April 5th- Athens Half marathon- 1:24:52- 1st Place (PR)- 15k-59:38(PR) 10m 1:04:18(PR)
April 26th- Toledo Marathon- 3:14:18-2nd place
May 25th- Lancaster Memorial 5k- 19:03- 2nd place (PR at time)
June 7th- Columbus 10k- 38:29-5th place (PR) 5k-18:40 (PR) 4m-24:22 (PR) 5m-30:49 (PR)
June 20th- Run for the Rose 5k- 18:55(19:06)- 1st place
June 27th-Hyde Park Blast Elite 4 miler- 24:39- 9th
July4th-July 4th 10 miler-1:04:55- 1st place
July 11th- CRC Mile- 5:42- too many place to count
July 23rd- Suicide Prevention/Touching Lives with Hope 5k- 18:19- 1st place (PR)
August 1st- Lancaster Festival 5k- 18:50- 1st place
August 1st- Paced Last 19.6 miles of the Burning River 100 miler

Monday, August 3, 2009

Lancaster Festival 5k and Burning River 100 miler Pacing

Well, hmmm where do I begin....After last Thursday's (7-23) 5k in 18:19 I was pumped for this Saturday's race to try to get into the 17's. Well that was until my training leading up to it. Something happened I am not sure what, but if you know me you know I love running and never try to take days off unless they are unavoidable. Well Wednesday came and it was rainy and gray and crappy outside I didn't want to run. When I stretched to run I even told mom I wanted to take a zero day. When I went out to run I came up with good excuses to turn around every step of the way, but somehow I managed to get 10 miles in. I thought maybe it was just a rough day but then came Thursday and well the same kind of weather (even had to run later then normal because of storms) and the same feeling about running, didn't want to be out there doing it. I dreaded every step of it and only did 6 miles. So I knew at this point there was no chance of getting into the 17's I was just mentally out of it. Just didn't feel like doing it.

(Restarting this Friday almost a week later so I am sure there is plenty I'll forget) We got to the race and got registered and found the restrooms and talked to some of the people in charge of the race. They informed me that Rob Meyers was in town and was coming in to run the race. Well I went to warm up and forgot to take my medicine. Bad mistake cost me early in the race. At the start of the race there were some women on the front line but there was no room on the starting line so I went and stood behind a teammate of mine named Matt and Rob Meyers. Well the race started and I was told before the race that this one runner that we knew was trying to break 18 so I knew I needed to try to stay around him. Well I was off from the start. By the time I had got to the first mile I was 6:00.26 and this was way off because when I ran 18:19 I was 5:43 and I knew I needed to be faster then that. So after this I knew I was going to be lucky to run in the 18's. So we were on the bike path went up the hill around on the grass and through the streets and back onto the bike path. For the second mile the guy I was keeping tabs on had just disappeared out of sight. The second mile I hit in 12:07.16 (6:06.90). So at this point it was just hang on. I had been in first place the entire race, had no clue if anyone was near me but at this point my goal was just to stay strong and break 19. Well my last 1.1plus was 6:43.13 for an overall time of 18:50. I was the first female and 13th overall but it was a bad race. But I beat 2nd place female by 2:21. A guy I had beaten earlier this season beat me bad. But I managed to pick up $100 for my trip to Burning River 100 miler and for my family. Rob Meyers won the guys race in 15:05 and got all the headlines.

Race- Lancaster Festival 5k
Date/Time- 8-1-09 8:30AM
Time- 18:50 (6:00.26, 6:06.9, 6:43.13(1.1plus))
Place- 1st female, 13th overall
Temp- nice
Thoughts- Definitely a bad race- off from the start but happy I at least broke 19 again and won money for the family.

Burning River 100- (this is scattered and all over the place)
This whole idea came to pace this race the week of the race when I realized since I hadn't been able to run the 50k in Virginia I had planned to because I didn't have the money for the trip so I thought hey why not get my first pacing experience and 100 mile experience. So I posted on the website. I warned that I had never done it before and stated the 2 ultras I had done. And a guy named Nathan Echols contacted me. He was shooting for 19 hours. So I was pumped I was going to pace him from 81.6 miles to 101.2(the finish line) Before the race I had contact with a lady name Julie about possibly getting a ride to my aide station starting point. Well i hadn't heard from her. Well mom went to town and had the phone with her and happened to get a message from her(We don't have reception at home) So I called her back and we decided we would meet around 6 or whenever I was able to get there I allowed myself an extra hour because I didn't know where I was going. Well I got there at 5 something and contacted Julie he aid he would come pick me up and take me to the aide station at Boston well we got back there and waited for her runner Juli, at this time we also got the news that something happened to Nathan and he had gotten lost for about an hour and went back to his girlfriend, Jenny Chow, to run so he would be later then planned. Well Julie got me out to my aide station at about 6:30. I was suppose to be prepared for a give or take 45 minutes of 8 PM and now was told give or take 45 minutes of 9 PM.

The aid station was called the covered Bridge. Out there I met a guy named Mike that I was facebook friends with. I ended up talking to him until 10:05PM when Nathan and Jenny showed up (with her pacer Michael). So I helped them get ready to move on to a bad 4 section mile of the course. It had over ankle deep mud. It was dark, there were steep hills and I even got my shoe stuck at one point. I am not sure if that is where it was but in this race I had my first real river crossing which didn't go to well. I was trying to follow Nathan who is 6 something feet tall and here I am barely 5' 3". Well I watched him step on a rock and I tried well that didn't go so well and all of a sudden all you heard was SPLASH my foot went straight into the water o I was like forget it. SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH all the way across. On that 4 mile section we did a lot of walking because it was what most people called "unrunable" - I am not sure how I feel about this because even when I was running 34 minute 5ks I never walked a step- but I have never ran a whole 100 miler- Well we ran and walked through the rest of the race I timed the run part of the race. We I picked jenny and Nathan up at mile 81.6 she was in 4th place. At mile 85 she was tied for 3rd place but the other women left the aide station before us so we were back to 4th place. Well eventually we got back up to 3rd place, but we weren't quite sure about this though and the aide stations didn't know for sure either. During our aide stations I would help Nathan and Jenny with their stuff and I also tried a chocolate chip cookie and a quarter of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I never had problems with the cookie but not sure about the other. Later in the race we passed another girl so at this point we now knew at worst we were third. At the next aide station we got it confirmed that we were second. So at this point it became my job to watch behind us for anyone coming. Because we knew the women we had passed earlier had 2:53 marathon speed. Well we passed a few other runners along the way but it was just black behind us. Then we hit the roads and poor Jenny they told her she had to basically sprint she had to run 4 minutes to get under 22 hours. Well she got it 21:59:59 for Jenny and Nathan, 16th and 17th overall and 2nd female. Total I was on my feet for 4 hours and 55 minute with them and 2:40:28 of it was running and 2:14:39 was walking and aide stations.
After the race we sat in the tent for almost an hour. Well it was 3:50 AM when we left the finish area. I didn't have money for a hotel room and I wasn't about to call my brother and sister(in-law) at 4 in the morning. So I figured I would just drive home the 3 hours (plus when you are tired have to stop for gas and restroom). So I left at 3:55 AM and headed home it took me until 7:20ish (normally I am up 1-2 hours before this in the morning). So I got home took my medicine and went to sleep until about noon. When I ran on Sunday I surprisingly felt OK. It wasn't until Monday that I felt anything!
It was a new experience for me. I had fun running with Nathan, Jenny and Michael. I just wish I could have done more for them. Michael knew much of the course so he led us and I just ran along side and helped them at aid stations however I could. I would loved to have tried to help pace Nathan to a 19 hour finish but as you learn things don't always turn out as planned.

Hmmm I am sure there is much more I want to say but just can't think of it. So for now.....

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Suicide Prevention 5k PR

I wasn't going to write this but then I had nothing better to do with my time and thought about it, I PR'd and I might never run this fast again. So here is what all transpired leading up and through the race. Brief summary of race at the bottom.

I had heard about this race and thought that it was for such a great cause but never thought about running it, as my training had been pretty rough. I had done no speed work, no tempo work and hadn't used my watch except for the runs on Mondays with the Columbus Running Company team, and my failed 25 mile at race pace that turned into a slow 14 miler. So training was definitely not there. Well the cause of the race stood with me and on Wednesday at 1 pm, the day before the race, I went out and told Dad I thought I might want to run the race because of the cause being so close to my heart. I told him I knew I couldn't break 19 but would hope to break 20. Well Dad said if I could handle not breaking 19 (he thought I could run 19:20's on strength) then I should do the race. So I told him I would think about it and went back to my room. Well it was a crappy rainy day and I was scheduled to attempt the 25 miler again but we pushed those plans back because of the weather. So as we were getting storms I debated as I tried to wait them out. Then eventually I decided that I definitely wanted to run the race because what it stood for and I knew last years winning time was only 21:23.

So it is hard to wait until 7 pm for a race. What a different routine and everything. At one point I wasn't sure if I wanted to run it because my weight was majorly high. But then my heart was just drawn to it because of the cause. Since the race was only about 10 miles from my house we didn't have to leave until 5:45 pm. We got there registered, I got a new sleeping shirt but was super excited because they had a homemade cookie and cashews in the goody bag. After checking in we decided we would check out the course. Mom had been in town earlier and had seen part of the course while doing earrings so we had an idea. Well at the start you couldn't do the very beginning because it was a loop around the park that goes through a service type road that is full of muddy potholes and then a grass area. Then you took a right out of the park and did the hill, then a partial loop and up a road around part or a circular road then cut it short and go up another hill on a parallel road to the one you came down. Then you took a turn and went down a hill around the 2 mile mark then back up the hill but this time only 3/4 the way up the hill because you turned off on a side road to head back toward the park and loop around the parking lot. So for as flat as Circleville is they managed a hill in every mile. So again the goal became clear of just breaking 20 minutes.

Well it was time to stretch and no sooner did I get out of the car did it decided to rain. Well Dad tried to hold the umbrella over me so I could stretch but that really didn't work. Luckily I had an old Boston marathon jacket in the car so I got it out and went and warmed up in the rain until about the last 2 minutes it stopped. So I changed shoes and what not. And we headed towards the starting line but this time I stopped at the restroom before the race as to not have another accident.

I got to the starting line and almost everyone was lined up but they were like 10 feet behind the actual starting line I couldn't figure out what was going on, then some local guys came up and tried to figure out why nobody was on the starting line so we moved up together. The guys were kinda shocked to see a girl on the front of the starting line most of these were high school, or young college age kids. Well before the race started I heard one boy ask the other what he planned to run and he said he hoped to be at least 16:10 and wanted to be about 5:10 the first mile. So the gun went off at first everyone took off then there was like a delay and the group of guys besides the first 2 just slowed down, so I passed them. Then on the next section the gravel/grass road some of the guys passed me back as we were jumping mud puddle potholes. So we make it through the grass section and out the park and up the hill. Dad had got out on the course and the way the course was he caught me on top of the hill then at the mile mark as well. So I got out but wasn't sure how I was running because last year the time I would have wanted to run would have been in like the top 5 overall and this year I was further back. But I kept going I got up to the mile mark to look down and see 5:43.29 (less then a second slower then the open mile race that is on a pancake course). So this was also a second faster then the 10k that my previous 5k PR had came from. So I just kept pushing on. Got through the second mile where Dad was waiting again and I saw 6:03 on my watch, I forgot to look at the overall time (11:46.57) to know where I was but I knew that 6:00's would put me exactly on my PR from before. So at this point I just took off down the hill as to try to restart and pick up the pace a little. I tried to use the older guy that was ahead of me and the younger guy that was ahead of me to catch up to, but on the uphill the older guy pulled away and the younger one was coming backwards. With about a half mile to go I was about to pass the younger guy which I really didn't want to do because I thought he would just blow back pass me in front of everyone at the finish, but I pushed on. Well coming down this road I looked down on my watch and saw 16:05 and didn't think there was anyway of getting to the finish in 2.5 minutes but then I went what felt like a long way and looked down on my watch and saw it had only been 30 seconds so now I thought I might have a chance at breaking that 18:40 old PR but thought it would be pretty close. So I took the last turn on the straight away and just kept running as I got closer I looked up on their clock and swear I saw it say 18:41, 18:42, 18:43.... so I just gave up, thinking close but not close enough. But then I got like a foot from the finish and noticed that 3rd digit was a 1 and not a 4. And I had just crossed the finish line in 18:19.86 a new PR, so 6:33 for the last 1.1plus miles. I had won the race by over 3 minutes and set a course record by over 3 minutes and had come in 8th overall.

After the race for my cool down I went out a half mile and brought a group of people in to the finish that swore I was trying to kill them. Then after getting them in I went out 1/4 a mile and brought another group of people in to the finish, by this time basically everyone was in that was willing to run it was just walkers left on the course so I went and cooled down the rest on my own. I got my trophy finished the cool down then headed home with Dad happy owner of a new PR, that I don't know if I can ever reset. I am getting closer to running half the time I used to run my 5ks in. What a great experience for a great cause.

Race- Suicide Prevention 5k
Place- Circleville, Ohio, Ted Lewis Park
Date- 7-23-09
Time- 18:19.86 (5:43.29, 6:03(11:46.57), 6:33(1.1plus)) Course Record
Place- 1st female.... 8th/161 finishers overall
Weather- Just after rain shower- 70's (?)- humid -a little windy
Course- 1 hill on each mile
Feelings- SHOCKED- completely not expecting this at all- So very happy- but leaves you to think what if you would have known and trained for it

Thursday, July 9, 2009

20 mile training run 7-8-09

I have not been doing a lot of distance runs and when I do I never time them so Tuesday when Dad told me that Wednesday we would be trying to run 20 miles at 8 flats I didn't think it was going to be possible. I thought there was no way I could go that fast. I thought he was crazy for even thinking it. Before I went out I had to ice my knee, it had bothered me Sunday on my run and then a little during the week. I also had like a muscular or something pain in my side back. But I just told Dad we'll try and see what happens if not then try again tomorrow. So at about 3:15pm with the temperature in 80's I headed out.

I tried to go comfortable at 8:00's for as long as I could

No stopping for drink and gels- grab and go from Dad in car

1st mile- 7:50- This is the only mile that has the half mile marked and I hit it in 4:00 so I thought I was right on pace. But also didn't know if I could continue that pace for 19 more miles.

2nd mile- 7:53 (15:44)- Tried to slow down my pace from the first mile.

3rd mile- 7:44 (23:28)- Could tell my legs had just felt warmed up and were ready to go!

4th mile- 7:58 (31:26)- 2nd half mile up hill

5th mile- 7:52 (39:19)- hilly mile

6th mile- 7:33 (46:53)- down hill mile- Dad was late getting drink and gel

7th mile- 7:54 (54:47)- drink

8th mile- 7:57 (1:02:44)- a little tough

9th mile- 7:41 (1:10:26)- easier mile

10th mile- 7:37 (1:18:03)- easier mile

11th mile- 7:34 (1:25:38)- drink and gel

12th mile- 7:27 (1:33:05)

13th mile- 7:33 (1:40:39)

14th mile- 7:47 (1:48:27)- drink

15th and 16 mile- 15:32 (2:03:59)- 1st mile up hill mile, 2nd mile hilly mile- drink and gel

17th and 18th mile- 14:41 (2:18:41)- missed another mile mark but know I had passed it before 7:24- 2 drinks

19th mile- 7:08 (2:25:50)

20th mile- 7:08 (2:32:58)

20 miles- 2:32:58- (7:38.9/mile)

1st 10 miles- 1:18:03
2nd 10 miles- 1:14:55

Oh yea, got a blister on both feet before 5 miles never told Dad about it until I got back and there was blood all over my socks and shoes.

Hmmm..... lets see anything else I'll add.......

Sunday, July 5, 2009

July 4th 10 Miler

Race- July 4th 10 Miler (Hilliard)
Date- July 4th, 2009
Time- 1:04:55 (6:29.5/mile)
Place- 1st Female- I think 6th overall (2nd female 1:07:29(closer then I thought), 3rd place 1:12:55)
Temp- 70's- Sunny
Course- Hilliard Bike Path- Basically flat maybe slanting at some places but nothing you notice
Award- Plaque
Feelings- BLAH more like a training run- Not a good race- Wasn't in to it- Never felt competitive-

We were suppose to leave at 6 am but again my Uncle was driving up with us and he was bringing his bike to try and get out on the course with me (which he was able to do after the mile mark) but was a little bit late. Dad hadn't decided until Wednesday that we were going to race. I have race 4/6 of the past weekends (now 5/7). We really wanted to take the week off from racing but how can you pass up a 10 miler, they don't come by every weekend like 5k's.

Pre- Race- Nerves/Anxiety got to me really bad before the race. As I was stretching my legs were shaking. I felt this the first mile so that didn't help.

Mile 1- 6:11- Way way way slower then I was hoping for. Was hoping to be sub 6 for the first mile. But at one point I had to take the lead of the entire race. I was pretty sure the guy I just met during the race (he introduced himself, Greg, he is on the CRC team as well) was faster then what we were going but they were playing around or something (he went sub 58 and won).

Mile 2- 6:19 (12:31)- Greg the guy at the time that was in 2nd place, and Rob (who is on team CRC and finished 2nd 61:48) all passed me. Now I was alone until right before the turn around.

Mile 3-6:25 (18:56)- already off of pace- knew I was in for trouble here- alone

Mile 4- 6:33 (25:30)- all alone

Mile 5- 6:43 (32:13)- WOWZA!- another guy passed me- here I thought I was in major trouble and going to slow down to marathon plus pace of 7 flats- saw at the turnaround I was about 1:30 up on 2nd place female-

Mile 6- 6:36 (38:49)- at least it came back down a little- alone

Mile 7- 6:35 (45:25)- still alone can hear a guy coming up though at a steady pace it has taken him a long time to catch me from when he first came into view behind me-

Mile 8- 6:34 (52:00) guy caught me- I used his pace for as long as I could just keep with him- and sometimes passing him and back and forth- knew from here I could go sub 65 if I had 2 sub 6:30's

Mile 9- 6:31 (58:31)- still staying with guy and going back and forth

Mile 10- 6:24 (1:04:55)- 3rd fastest mile of the day- the guy left me with about 3/4 a mile to go- he got a gap and that was it

Got to cool down some with Greg and Rob. Rob and I continued our cool down going back and yelling for everyone still out on the course. I love to do that. I still remember when it was me still out on the course and my Uncle would come back after his race and finish with me.

What can I say but I guess it was about time I had a bad race it has been since Toledo Marathon in April. You can't run a PR every time out there. To sum it up bad race, good training run and I guess maybe it's this attitude that has kept me from getting overly upset about it. I guess I am just thankful to God for being able to run and hey I got another win, too.

Hmmmmm..... Don't know if there is much else to say..... Did you race this weekend???? How did you do???? Good Luck to all the runners with a race this weekend!!!! Especially the Badwater runners this week and Vermont 100 the following.... And of course all of my CRC teammates at the CRC Mile Dash.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Hyde Park Blast Elite 4 Miler

Race- Hyde Park Blast 4 mile Elite Race (Cincinnati)
Date- June 27, 2009 9:15am
Time- 24:38 (6:09.5 pace)
Place- 9/17 in the elite race(female) 11th/1205 in both races(female)
Temp- 80's hot and humid
Course- A lot of people said it was a tough course and that is all I heard about, although there were 2 BIG hills I didn't think the course was that bad at least not to 2 different courses I have ran in Maryland. I don't know even the Kenyan winner complained about the hill but I just didn't seem to have a huge problem (Well i don't remember one, more to come on that later) (Mind you normally I call a seed bump a hill. I have always stunk at running hills) (on a side note we did have 3 speed bumps we had to go over that were not colored and you couldn't see them a teammate tripped on them.) I don't know supposedly it is a tough course I was just rearing myself for the worse and was surprised by how it just felt like a fair course. Even though some of the to finishers are super slow compared to their normal races.

We got up at 4:35 am to head down to Cincinnati. We got there about 7:10 and had an excellent parking spot. So we went and got our number and that was a trip....LOL we waited in line to be told elite athletes have to go see this other lady. Well that got sorted out and we went back to our car with lots of time to do nothing so we sat there and then decided to go over to the restroom and that was a walk away. We got back and I finished up my breakfast (reduced fat PB sandwich and a banana). At 8 am we decided to go down and watch the start of the open race. I knew the girl that beat me at the 10k and the girl I barely beat at the 10k were in it. As we went down I ran in to Krista well I saw her and I knew who she was because she used to beat me in road races. I asked Dad should I go wish her luck, I really didn't know her just knew of her, he said yea. She was rally nice so we talked for awhile then we stayed together and tried to find the other girls on our team (Beth and Paige). We found them and watched the finish of the open race.

We warmed up and I didn't realize until now typing this that we warmed up 15 min too early for my normal routine. I wondered how we had 30 mins left until race start when normally I start 30 mins before the race warming up, I didn't figure it out until now. I think the fact that the race started at 9:15 threw me off. But it was nice to have people to warm up we followed a group on Kenyans and got in trouble a couple time by the police for running in the roads.

We hung out for awhile at the start. At the start our team lined up on the very back line. I had thought I was honestly going to be dead last. I was scared. The race got started and not a hlaf mile into the race I had "bladder problems" the first time ever.

1st mile-5:45- slower then I had hoped for especially since this was basically a flat mile.

2nd mile- 6:28 (12:14) was mentally prepared for this to be slow- before the race Krista's husband had said that the third mile was fast then he goes well maybe the 2nd mile was slow so I was mentally prepared for this. what I wasn't prepared for was my contact problems-My contact with up to the top of my eye and I couldn't get it back into place I messed with this for over a mile before I just gave up and went with one contact- talking freaky uneven feeling-apparently there was a big hill this mile but I was too concerned with my contact to remember the hill- still "bladder problems"

3rd mile- 6:02(18:16)- it was really weird came around the corner and looked up and swear the clock said 18:76, 77, 78 etc and thought weird or I had just ran a really slow mile and was suppose to say 19:16 but then got closer and saw that a tree was blocking it and it was actually a zero- passed a girl that had a guy running with her- he was in the mens race and seemed to have stopped to go potty then just joined her for the rest of the race- first girl that I had really seen since the first mileish.-still "bladder problems"-

4th mile- 6:21 (24:38)- the girl passed me back and this is the mile that had the huge hill so I thought there was no chance to get her back but then in the middle of the hill she started to fall apart and the guy with her yelled don't you dare walk this and then then we crested a little part of it and she looked up and asked if that was the top and then took off sprinting and that was it for her. Then there was a normal size uphill before the downhill finish.

Feelings- not sure how I feel- not upset- but not happy- just ok with it- My Uncle and Dad both think it was the best race I have had so far based on other people in the race- but it's not a PR

Team Results/Race- I am so proud of our team, we all did so well!! Way to go ladies!!

However what I don't like is the fact that at the race we were told we were 3rd and he'd mail us the money and it was posted at first like that online then later in the day everything changed. And a new team appeared that is called Cincinnati Track Club however 2 of them were invited athletes one from Kenya and one from Michigan and the other is a runner quite possibly he knows. This team did not exist until after the results were up. Also what makes it worse is with our first girl we could have beat them I am just not good enough to run with other teams first girls.

But our team went:
9th- Me 24:38
13th- 25:46
14th 25:58
15th 25:59

Some stats- The girl that beat me at Columbus 10k by 42 seconds was in the open race and beat me by 29 seconds this time so rather close proportionally.
-The girl I beat by 12 seconds at the 10k ran the open race and I beat her this time by 35 seconds