Amanda Stickel

Slowly coming back to it... 5k at 6:51/mile

2011-04-04T04:07:00.000-07:00

Photos taken by Karsten Brown

In case you did not know I had to completely stop running for a few months. I first started back for about 3.5 weeks with just allowed to run 1 mile, then that got upped to 2 miles. So I have been running for about a total of 5 weeks now. Well on Thursday I decided to test myself. I have not timed my runs or ran speed workouts or anything, but I figured why not test yourself. So I got permission to go from 2 miles a day to Wednesday 1 mile, Thursday 3 miles, and Friday 1 mile. However, I didn't mention a race was involved, because I didn't want anyone to know. I went in with the mind frame of hoping I could run 23 minutes (kinda hard mentally to go from running a 18:19 to hoping for a 23 minute 5k). But that was the goal I set for myself that I felt was still realisitic off of no training.

Thursday morning comes and at our place all the kids are here on Wednesday so the daughers' room I am staying was there that night and she has to get up around 5 ish to get over to her school. Well I woke up around 3 ish... decided to take some OTC sleeping pills, but instead of tossing and turning and keeping her up I left and went downstairs to the couch. Unfortuantely I never found anymore sleep that night/morning. S

So my race was at Noon so I have to be there by 11 AM. It was on the campus of George Mason in Manassas which all the maps were saying that is about 30 minutes away from Vienna but in NOVA that means you need to normally triple the time but since it was at an off hour and I was headed away from the city I just doubled the time but then still decided to leave at 9:30 AM. Well of course I got there really early and when I knew I was in the Manassas area I decided to look at some stores for awhile. Then I finally made my way over to the race start just before 11 AM. Then waited in my car until 11 AM because I wasn't sure when registration opened.

At the registration table some guy that I didn't realize at the time, that was heading the event asked me about The Glass City Marathon because I had my jacket on. I got my number, 76 and found the bathroom and went on my way. When I was sitting in my car my anxiety was so HIGH I was shaking all over. Finally it was time for me to go warm-up. I only warmed-up 6 minutes because I have not been running that far so I didn't want to wear myself out. Then 10 minutes before the race I called my day to tell him I love him (race tradition) but he didn't realize my race was in 10 minutes he thought it was a day or 2 away and I was like NO 10 minutes.

Race weather dampish on and off drizzle and COLD, I wore 2 weathered shirts for the race. We get to the race start and the guy briefs us and I was like WTFreak. He was telling us to be careful because the woods were wet and such. I had NO clue this was a partial trail race. So I am at this point thinking there goes the whole time goal thing. Then at this point I look up ans see someone wearing a 100 miler shirt and see the pony tail and at this point realize it must be Karsten Brown, a good local runner in the area that ranges from short races to ultras, and good at all distances. But I don't want to bother to see if my suspicions were true over who he was at this point. So the race goes off right into the mud. I don't know if the first mile was mismarked or if it was because the trails it just ran that slow but I was 7:12 at the mile mark. At this point in the race I was in second and now I knew I wasn't going to catch first. SO I went from just keep trying to attack slowly in my head, to saying my Mantra of SCBFR. However, the mantra didn't last long before the negative voices started playing in my head. They were just plain awful and I know where the originally message came from but I just can't get those words out of my head. I was saying awful things to myslef during the race about the race that I would NEVER say to anyone so why was I saying them to myself. Well, either the 2 mile wasn't marked or I was just too much in my head with the negative thoughts, but I never saw it. The next thing I remember realizing was that my watch was saying 18-19 minutes and I realized where we were compared to where the finish line was and was shocked and now I was just doing everything not to get passed in the last just over a quarter mile. The finish line is in sight and I look down at my watch and am like WTFreak 21s. How'd that happen.

Officially, I ended with a 21:13 for 6:51/mile pace. I was the second female, only the winner got an award. And I was 10th overall in the race. After the race I went up to Karsten and talked to him. He informed me that the race was closer to 3 miles than 5k but with the muddy trails it ran like a 5k. So give and take. But anyways I was very content with how I ran and where I am coming out to start at. However, I am not happy with my negative self-talk during the race. I have got to figure out how to turn that around. FAST! But I am already looking forward to my next 5k race on the ROADS. Depending on the course I think I will set the goal this time to just break 22 minutes. I also need to control my anxiety better, had to take extra meds it was so high. So for the next race I have a few things to work on and maybe I will do a speed play session or two before then.

Oh and I am looking forward to my next ultra. I am thinking if things go right possibly in October?!? The one I really want to do looks like they are not having this year, but I think I already know what I will pick as my alternate if they are not having it.

Thanks for reading. So GLAD to be back to racing! Sorta.

A New Start

2011-04-04T03:59:00.001-07:00

Look for something new possibly soon...

Bravery

2010-08-06T05:53:00.000-07:00

~ Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid. ~

Found this quote and thought how appropriate for today. I am going to be doing something today that I really haven't let many people know about. So letting them know I am afraid is not really possible without telling them why, and I am ashamed to tell them why so I have try to be brave. Something really big that effects mine and my parents future is happening today. I am so afraid that I will mess it up or say the wrong thing or the person will be really mean or judgmental. This is totally bringing up one of my biggest fears. It is causing me great anxiety over it. I know what it means for my future.

My Take: Quotes 4

2010-01-21T02:30:00.000-08:00

1. Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.

-To be successful at something it take time. In running you aren't going to be a success over night it will take time you have to be patient. Recovery isn't going to happen overnight it will take time. To be successful at something you must continually pursue it. In running you must continuously persistently work towards your goal. In recovery you can't quit because of one bad meal you must pursue it and not quit. To be successful requires hard work. You must work hard in running to be successful at it, no matter what your goal is. In recovery it isn't going to come easy it is going to take hard work if you want to be successful. So no matter what you want to do, if you want to be successful at it you must be patient and give it time and not quit or give up because it doesn't happen immediately; you must be persistent you have to keep working at it no matter what is going on you must never give up you must keep working at it; you must perspire if you want to be successful which means you are going to have to work hard at whatever it is you are trying to accomplish, things aren't going to just happen you have to work hard to make them happen.

2. People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be.
-The minute you are able to change your mind from I can't or I'm not going to, to I can or I am going to, you have already became successful. The minute you decide you can do something or you are going to do something you have already took the first step towards success. So the minute you decide you are going to run a 100 miler or a sub 3 hour marathon or are going to recover you have taken the first step in success. So the minute you think you can and are capable of running a 100 miler and get out the door to start training for it is the minute you become successful same for a sub 3 hour marathon. The minute you put your mind to recovery you have already started the success. Deciding you can do something or are going to do something lets you begin on the path to success.

3. I do not know anyone who has got to the top without hard work. That is the recipe. It will not always get you to the top, but should get you pretty near.
-Even the most talented people had to work hard to get where they are, maybe they don't have to work as hard as you do, but they still had to put in hard work to be successful. Hard work doesn't guarantee you are going to be the very best at something, but it does mean you can be the best you are capable of being. In running if you want to be successful and reach a goal of placing, a time goal, or a distance goal you are going to have to work hard to reach the goal, it isn't just going to come to you. If you want to place you are going to have to put a lot of hard work and a lot of hour of training to do so. If you want to run a certain distance you are going to have to put the miles in and if you want to run a certain time you are going to have to do the pace training needed. If you want to recover you are going to have to work hard, those that work hard at recovery are the ones that are successful those that don't work hard are the ones likely to relapse, but they didn't do the work necessary. Hard work does not guarantee you will be the very best but it does mean you can be successful at your goal. If you want to reach your goals and get to your bet you have to work hard.

4. I feel that the most important requirement in success is learning to overcome failure. You must learn to tolerate it, but never accept it.
-In life, in anything you do there is going to be failures but you must never let these failures discourage you, you must never accept them and declare defeat you should learn to tolerate that failure is likely to happen and be prepared for it to happen and learn from it when it does happen and importantly overcome it, but you must never just accept it and quit if you want to be successful. You must overcome the failure to be successful. In running and recovery you are going to have off or bad days, but it is overcoming them, learning from them, getting past them, tolerating them and never accepting them as the final result that will allow you to become successful. There are many reason that can interfere with what we are working on, something can happen and maybe we don't get that much mileage or we don't get that fast of time as we wanted or in recovery you don't hit your daily requirements. It is learning to understand these days will happen and begin able to overcome them and not just quitting and saying that's it I can't go faster, further, or eat the right amount that will allow you to be successful. You must overcome each failure and move on and not accept it as the final result that will allow you to be successful.

5. Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success.
-You can't control how good someone is. Whether it be how fast they can run, how far they can run or how fast they are able to recover. You can only control yourself. You shouldn't compare yourself to others you should compare yourself to yourself. See how you are doing based on how you did before. Are you getting better, faster, stronger, healthier. To be successful doesn't mean you have to be the best at something, most likely there is always going to be someone better. So forget what others are capable of doing and focusing on what you are capable of and how you can improve to be better. Some things just are easier for others. You must learn not to base your success on what others are doing. If I was to do that I would have to say I was a failure at Nationals. Yes my last couple of miles were an epic failure but the race overall was definitely not a failure. It was my first competitive ultra, my first 50k and I finished in 3rd overall (Behind the World Champ in the 50 and 100 k's), I was the first in my age groups and ran a 3:46:30, good enough to get me selected to Worlds. But if I look at it well like Kami beat me so bad that my whole race was a failure, I'll never see the things I did accomplish. I can't compare myself to Kami, she is a different person we don't do, eat, train the same way. So in order to see if I was successful I need to compare myself to myself. Same with recovery we are all going to be at different steps in the process and we are each going to take a different amount of time to work through each step of recovery and because someone was able to fully recovery in 60 days of treatment doesn't mean you are a failure because it took you 90 days or more. You must look at yourself and compare it to how you were doing to see if you are successful at anything because you can't control what someone else is capable of. We are all our own people.

6. Good work habits help develop an internal toughness and a self-confident attitude that will sustain you through every adversity and temporary discouragement
-If you are a hard worker and do what you are suppose to do on the inside you can be confident in yourself and develop a mental toughness that no matter what you are faced with in running, recovery, life you know you can pull through it no matter how much it brings you down at the moment. This one basically speaks for itself. If you are a hard worker and dedicated runner and know you always do your best then if you it a down point in a race and get discouraged or something goes wrong you know because of the work you have done that you can pull through it. In recovery if you are working hard and always give it your best no matter what happens a slip up, a challenging food or something in your personal life that threatens your recovery if you know you have always gave it your all you can and will pull through it no matter how discouraged you feel at the moment you will be able to pull things back together. So always putting the best you can into something can give you the confidence and toughness to know you can get through anything that comes up.

7. History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.
- I like this quote but right now I have been handed so many defeats... I just am not in the mood to write about it.. so if you would like to please by all means leave me a message..... I guess I need to read the quote again because the last line says they won because they were not discouraged by their defeats.... well I am working on not letting it defeat me but it's a work in progress......

8. The first principle of success is desire - knowing what you want. Desire is the planting of your seed.
- To succeed at something you have to want to do it. Whether it be you want to do it because you want to keep your job or because you love it and it's a goal and you want to get better or you want to recover. The first step to success is just getting yourself to want to do it. Once you know you want to do it you can go out there and do it and successfully do whatever it is you are trying to do. If it's wanting to run a sub 3:00 marathon or a 100 miler something inside you has to want to do it, that desire you have is the start, or seed, to being successful at it. You know what you want now you just have to go after it. If it's recovery and you have the desire to get better you have planted the seed to start healing and becoming recovered. This doesn't mean just because you want something or have the desire for something you will be successful, you will have to put the work into it to be successful.

9. Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.
-Everything you do, in order to improve, no matter how big or small is leading to your goal or success. Sometimes we aren't ready to make a huge leap at once. Sometimes it is those small little things you do day after day that will add up to the success you want. If you want to be faster it could be knock a couple seconds off my time today compared to yesterday. If you want to run further it could be just adding an extra couple of tenths of a mile each day. In recovery it can be so many things. Adding 10 extra calories day, working on stop doing a food ritual each day work on doing it less and less, drink something with calories a drink more everyday. So many more things.... But it's all these little things regardless of your circumstance, that add up together to get you to be successful.

10. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-I had someone constantly tell me how they were a great runner and I was just a good runner. And this wasn't just once or twice this was numerous times. This would bring me down every time they said it making me feel worse and worse and that I wasn't good enough. This constantly got pounded into my head for like a month and I started to doubt my ability and what I was capable of ever doing no matter how hard I trained. I am slowly starting to believe in myself again and think that I can run what my goals are. It was also pounded into me that I wasn't ready to run so far yet and that I am not able to compete at that distance and slowly I am regaining confidence that I am able to run this distance. The ties between the person were cut and that is how slowly I am able to be regaining my confidence in my ability. But this person totally belittled my goals and also in fact completely set a different set of goals for me. It has taken awhile to get over these words and I still don't think I am completely over them. But this was not a good situation for my running or self confidence definitely not someone I should have been around. I am now surrounded by people who think I can be good. They don't expect anything from me but my best and they believe I have the ability to be good. They let me set my goals and help me to get to them. They don't discourage me from my goals and if there is a difference in opinion we talk about it and compromise. (Mainly the difference was about when to compete at certain distance, not that I wasn't capable but I could do better if I waited and got more experience and I saw the opinion and agreed with it so we changed some goals to push them back a few years). But being around such a person that constantly telling me I am not good enough and what not brought me down so much and now I am forced to try to bring myself back up. It is best that I just forget everything about this person and keep away from them. It was a bad mistake that I had to learn the hard way of how some people can truly be no matter how much you might have looked up to them, stay away from people that will bring you down. No matter whether it is someone bring you down in running or in life or with recovery stay clear of these people, as much as you might love them they are not helping you by bringing you down and telling you what you can't do. Hang around people that encourage you and want to see you succeed. Annette B. is a great example of this she encourages me so much. She is truly amazing. No matter what my goal she always pushes me to help get it. Beware of people and their motives they are not always seem as they are. Also just another thing that kind of relates to this If someone constantly tells you "the sky is the limit," don't let them for 2 reasons first "there are footprints on the moon" BUT more importantly they are putting limits on you, don't let them bring you down by placing limits on you.

My Take: Quotes 3

2010-01-18T06:01:00.000-08:00

1. Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

-To get started on something you have to have some motivation, even if you don't want to do it something will motivate you to start. In running it could be your love for it, wanting to improve, the peace it brings you, be around others, the feeling you get from it, the independence of it, health there is something that makes you get out there and get started. In recovery it's the wanting to get better, maybe you hit a turning point and realized you no longer want to live that way, you saw or heard of a friend that is extremely sick because of it and what is going on with her you don't want to happen to you, maybe it's wanting a better life, maybe it's for your family and friends, maybe you have worked through the issue that caused it and are ready to commit to recovery. Something gets you motivated to start whatever it is. In running it becomes something you do daily it becomes a habit and you continue to do it. You keep doing it for whatever reason got you started it is something you need to do for whatever reason and you just keep going because it is what you know. It is what you have learned to do. In recovery it's relearning things you stopped doing and consistently doing them over and over until they are hait and then you start to do it because it becomes what you know and what you are suppose to do and what will help you get better. So something will get you motivated to start but you will continue it, like a habit, because it's what you know so you keep doing it.

2. All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
-If you are willing to go after something with everything you have, you can get it. If you have the courage to start something that you are dreaming of and continually work at it your dream can come true. So if there is some running goal you are dreaming of and are willing to put the work in it takes to get it then that dream can become reality. If you are dreaming of recovery and have the courage to choose to go after recovery with everything you can no matter how hard it is going to be, if you can see yourself getting better and are willing to put the effort in you can recover. "If you can dream it, you can do it."

3. If you have a great ambition take as big a step as possible in the direction of fulfilling it, but if the step is only a tiny one, don't worry if is the largest one now possible.
-If you really want something, go after it with everything you have right now, even if what you have is not a lot, give it your all and that small step you made to get it will soon become more steps and soon even bigger steps but you just give whatever you can give now with everything you have and you can get what you are after. In running if you have set a time or distance goal most likely when you set the goal it is not something that you can accomplish right then you are going to have to work for it. In running if it's a new distance you are after but maybe you are in the best shape right now or are coming back from an injury taking a small step past the distance you went last time is something. If you have ran a marathon and are going to try to run your first 50k but have never run further then 26.2 miles and are not sure you are able to go past that distance put your goal at getting an extra .3 in and trying for 26.5 miles. So maybe it's not that much further and you know you can go further but just aren't ready yet, you are just that much closer to your goal of the 50k distance. Every small step you take is going to put you closer and closer to your goal and soon those steps will become bigger and that 50k distance won't be anything and you'll be thinking of your first 50 miler. But it's the fact that you gave it your all to get to that goal even though you had to start small that made the victory possible. If you are trying to recovery just doing one thing differently then what you would normally have don will be putting you on the road to recovery. Even if you aren't ready to eat a full meal yet, just sitting down to the meal is a small step (well actually it's kinda big in some ways) but it is a step in the right direction to gt what you are after. To recovery you know you are going to have to take bigger steps but right now every small step you can take adds up and soon before you know it recovery is looking possible and the steps you are taking are getting bigger and bigger and you are handling them as they come and getting through them successfully. And before you know it ou might be able to say "I am recovered." So if you want something really bad and are willing to put your best effort into it no matter how small the step may be, it's taking that first baby step that will get you to where you want to be.

4. The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race.
-So often we cross a finish line or come to the end of something and that is the end of it. If you did good you think wow that is what all my training was for if you did bad you think I did all that training for nothing. Instead when we cross that finish line we should be looking for what is the next race or thing we can accomplish. Like in recovery, you finished step 3 now you aren't done it means you are ready to start step 4. Something new is always awaiting for you when you "cross that finish line." There is always the next race, next goal, next step, always something to look forward to. Don't think of the finish line as an ending think of it as a beginning. You met one challenge now it's time for the next. Always be looking for that next journey to come up!

5. The secret of success is to put your heart, mind, intellect and soul into even your smallest acts.
-If you want to be successful in whatever it is you are doing, running recovery, etc... you need to put everything you have into it. Your heart needs to be your driving force, the reason you are doing it. Your mind needs to be made of what you are going to do. You need to use your intellect to be smart about what you are trying to accomplish so you can accomplish it. And your soul, your everything, you need to put this into everything you do if you want success. You have to feel it on the inside to be truly successful at something. If you set a running goal or a recovery goal and hope to be successful you need to stand behind t with your heart mind, intellect and soul. It has to be something you want to accomplish with you heart and soul. You need to use your mind and intellect to get you to successfully accomplish your goal. Put everything in to what you want and it shall be yours.

6. This is the foundation of success - having confidence in yourself and applying yourself with all your might to your work.
-To be successful in something you have to have confidence you can do it before you start and you must be willing to work to get it. Self confidence is extremely important thing to have whether in recovery or running. When I didn't have self confidence in running the mountain hard, I wasn't able to do it. The next week out on the roads I told myself i could run those hills and I was easily able to run them hard. If I say I can't recover then I never will be able to. But if I have confidence that I can recover and am willing to work hard at it I can be successful at it. So not only must you have confidence to be successful but you must also be willing to work hard to be successful. Confidence alone won't get you there. And you can work as hard as you want but don't have confidence in it you won't be as successful as if you do have confidence that you can do it.

7. Some succeed because they are destined to, But most succeed because they are determined to.
-I believe some people are just given or are blessed with a natural ability, and that is great, but that is not the majority of us. Some are just born with a "silver spoon in their hand." These people are destined to succeed. But for the rest of us if we want to succeed at something we have to be determined to by being dedicated, working hard and believing in ourselves and going out there and doing it day after day. For some people recovery comes natural to and they don't have an enormous struggle. Some people can afford the best treatment in the world to get better. But others of us have to work at it second after second always fighting against ourselves and our warped beliefs. Others of us have to have a mind framed determined to recover no matter what. We have to work hard for it every single second of every single day. And we have to believe we can recover to be successful at it. With running you have to be determined to reach your goal whether it be for distance and or time. You have to go out and work hard for it everyday. And you have to believe in yourself and the fact that you can reach that goal to be successful. So some people are naturally going to succeed, while others of us will have to be head strong and fight for it.

8. Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through the experience of trail and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
-If everything is smooth sailing for you and nothing goes wrong that is not making you a stronger person that is keeping you the person you are. You don't have to be strong when you are really weak, you aren't going to fall apart to have to rise again. You don't have to fight for anything everything is coming naturally to you. You aren't changing who you are, you aren't growing as a person. It's the people that go through hard times of 'trials and suffering' that develop their character, for good or bad. A person that hits a trial can hit a low point and wants to give up but their character won't let them so they push on and are a stronger person for it. They can be down on their hands and knees so weak and not wanting to fight just wanting to give up and give in but in comes their true character and they become strong and never quit. These people that go through a rough time and persevere that inspire others. If they can successful make it through one trial they know they will get through the next no matter how hard they are tested. You see these people real character come out when times are bad. And they become stronger people because of what they have been thorough. This can be applied to running by the fact that people that are going through the race with ease and no pain(quietness) aren't really achieving something, even if they are winning, they aren't giving it their best most likely. It is those people that you see that are in pain and suffering that are able to pull and push through it that are successful and inspire others regardless of the front of the pack or the back of the pack. As they push through they are becoming a new stronger person. In recovery if someone is not struggling a little and not feeling and pain (so being in ease and quietness) aren't dealing with the problem. They aren't becoming stronger people it might look like they are and that they are being successful but they will be the first one to falter. It's those of us that pushes ourselves and go through dealing with the pain of our eating disorder and what brought it on that can become successful and recovery. They deal with whatever it is they need to and become a new person, they are able to inspire others with their recovery efforts. So it is not the person that goes through life/running/recovery with ease and quietness that inspire others, become a new person and are successful it is us that go through the trials and sufferings that do these things.

9. It isn’t who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you are not.
-This is true is so many aspect but once again I go back to the mountain story. Of where I was running with a guy that I was supposedly better then and I let him beat me up the mountain because I told myself I can't run hills let alone a mountain. And of course he beat me up. My ex-coach and him said he never should have beat me up the mountain and that I was in better shape then him. So instead of thinking to myself, who I was (a better and more fit runner then my partner) I only thought of who I wasn't (not a good hill runner). And of course this held me back as a runner. Sometimes I think I can't beat a runner and that they are better then me and not think about how much I have improved and where I really am as a runner that will hold me back from running my best. So they could actually be behind me at this race as far as where they are fitness wise but I tell myself they are better then me I should be behind them and that is where I will run( behind them). Even if this is minutes away from where I should be running, unless I am strong enough in the race to know that I am better then this and go ahead and go around them. But by not giving myself enough credit as a runner I hold myself back sometimes. Also in recovery I can hold myself back by saying I am not doing good enough I am not getting anywhere and I can't recovery, instead of looking at the improvements I have made and where I have came from and where I am right now as opposed to where I was. SO by telling myself these negative things I hold myself back from recovery. So you don't hold yourslf back by what you are capable of right now but instead you hold yourself back by telling yourself what you are not capable of.

10. Nothing in this world is impossible to a willing heart.
- If you are willing to put your heat into whatever it is that you are after you can get it as impossible as it might seem if you are willing and put your heart into it it can become possible. This isn't saying that this will be easy NO! It is saying you have to be willing to do whatever it is you heart desires. You will have to work for it. You will have to dedicate yourself to it. You will have to live it. You will have to become it. Yo have to be willing to do whatever it takes and you have to want it in you heart. In running I have my goals for my 50k that seem impossible and ever being able to run my first 50 miles (this year hopefully) seems impossible, but my heart is so willing to do whatever it takes to make these goals possible. So I am going to go out to these races not thinking these goals are impossible but thinking that these goals are possible and I can accomplish them. With recovery if your heart is willing to go after it with everything then recovery can be possible. As I have said before you have to believe "With God all things are possible."

My Take: Quotes 2

2010-01-17T06:47:00.000-08:00

1. "Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks"
-some of my closest friendships have been broken by other people or them themselves and you are right they are never the same. You can become friends again and act like nothing happened but it is always different it is never the same. You aren't as close anymore, you lose trust and maybe respect for each other. I had a friend talking behind my back when I thought I could trust her and she ended up telling this other person everything I was confiding in her as my closest friend. So this in turn made the one person hate me and broke my trust with the her. We still sorta have a friendship but it is not the same. It is broken in millions of pieces. You can clearly see all the cracks.

2. "We all lose friends.. we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on."
-My hope for regaining some of the friends I have lost is gone. There is no way they will ever exist. Some of these people want nothing to do with me. They shut me out of their life and never want me to come back in. So I think hope can be lost. There will be no picking up these friendships where they left off. I can leave a million lights on and they won't find their way back home because they don't want to.

3. A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.
-If your dream doesn't take sweat, hard work and determination then you have set you goals too low. A dream is something that should be attainable but not easily attainable. You should have to work for it. And if you just assume you don't have to work and the dream is just going to come true out of nowhere you will be mistaken. You also have to be determined if you aren't determined to make it happen and just go out and hope it will happen that won't be enough either. You have to work hard at it if you slack off you dream won't get fulfilled. If you aren't willing to work hard then why are you dreaming of such things with hope they will happen. If you don't work hard for them you don't deserve for the dream to come true.

4.
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.
-Any time you are going through a hard time and pull through is just more strength to know you can get through it the next time something bad happens. It gives you the confidence to know you got through a hard time once you will get through this hard time as well. It doesn't mean that the hard time will be easier to face each time. It just gives you strength to know you can handle the situation and confidence to know you will make it through and courage to face the problem head on and not avoid it.

5. Blessings are placed within our reach, but they are not placed within our hands.
-We are very blessed. There are blessings all around. Sometimes you don't think of it right away as being a blessing. Like you might not think that being able to run, no matter what pace you are at, is a blessing but it is very much a blessing there are millions of people who can't run for medical reasons. You have been blessed with being healthy enough to be able to run. But those are for simple blessings we just overlook. But for blessings on a bigger scale, the blessing is there for you but you have to take action to make it yours. Like someone is going to be blessed to win the race, if you want that to be you, you have to do something to make it be you. You have to work for it and train for it and do what you are supposed to do. You aren't just going to be blessed with a win put in your hands, you have to reach out and take hold.

6.When the world says, "Give up, "Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
-When people have given up on you ever feeling better, recovering, or running up to a certain standard there is always that little voice of hope you have that says give it another shot, you can do it, just try again. Maybe it was just a bad day or it wasn't meant to be this time. But don't give up just because everyone else has. When everyone else has given up on you is when you need to look deep inside and find that glimmer of hope you still have that things will get better, or you can do it or you can run faster. Find that hope and don't let go no matter what even when everyone else has said it's not possible you go out and make it happen, show them. When they say you can't do it, go out and prove them wrong and do it. Never lose that hope.

7. If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again
-This goes with NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP. Whether you keep your goal the same and just retry in a different race or you decided to focus on a different race entirely. So if you set out with a goal to hit a certain distance or run 100 miles and you go out and things don't go your way and you weren't as fast as you wanted or didn't make it as far as you wanted. Don't be afraid to try again. go to the next race with that same goal or modify the goal and pick a new distance. This is what I had to do. My ex-coach had set the goal for me to run the OTQ in the marathon and then she gave up coaching me. Now with my new coach we are focusing on ultras. So I had to give up on the dream of the OTQ and deal with the heart break of a broken dream but made a new goal. We have our key races picked out if everything goes well. And they are all Ultra distances races. We have also set goals for the next 5 years, not key races but distances and standards. So no matter what the case is a bad race a coach turning there back on you pick up those lost pieces/goals and don't be afraid to start over and begin again.

8. Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer.
Things that are difficult such as recovering, running a certain pace or distance will take time it won't just happen over night. But things people don't believe can happen that are even harder, some say impossible, take even more time but they can be accomplished, you are just going to have to work that much harder for it. Don't let anyone tell you, you can't do something, that it is impossible. Get out there and show them with extremely hard work that it can be done and you will do it. As the quote goes "With God all things are possible."

9. There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound."
-Since the only friends I have are long distance friends I have to think this is but true. The fact that you can be friends with someone who is not there with you, Who you don't see in person, who you just communicate through phone, computer, etc. and can relate to them and understand them and encourage them and consul them is someting amazing. Having a relationship with someone you see everyday is very easy to do. But keeping a relationship with someone you don't is so much harder. There is a special bond....... I don't know I am not kinda into this one right now.... I have been hurt by some of the people this quote was meant for so I am just not in to it today for this quote so that is all you are going to get today on this one :(

10."Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon."

I have heard people say you will never fully recover and I think that is like putting a limit on something. I think or at least I am going to hope that it is possible to fully recover. I have people tell me that I am only so good that they are better then I'll be and negative comments putting a limit on my ability when we have yet to see what I can fully do, so don't put limits on me when we have yet to seen me at my full capacity (I hope). Don't tell me I can only be this good and I'll never be that good. Don't say this is a best as I can do and that is it. Don't just settle with what you think you are capable of handling reach out further, harder. Don't set limits, or let anyone else set limits, on you. You don't know what you are capable of until you go out there and do it. having a goal yes is a good thing but who says you can't do better then that goal. My goal for my 3 hour run was to get 22 miles in and I ended up getting 23.25 would have been more if i wouldn't had leg pain starting at mile 13. But I didn't try to run hard, I just went out and ran comfortable and set the goal at 22 but when I saw I was ahead of the goal, I didn't think "Oh no what am I doing" I thought "awesome, how much extra can I do." Never limit yourself and NEVER let someone else limit you. Reach out of your comfort zone, beyond the sky we can see and reach out for that moon, of unlimited possibilities.

My take: Quotes 1

2010-01-17T03:28:00.000-08:00

I love quotes and have a good friend that is really sick right now and I am sending her quotes for her to read. I thought I would comment on some of the quotes that I found. Whether it be about running or being positive or friendship.

1. "All things are possible until they are proved impossible-and even the impossible may only be so as of now."

-I fell in love with this quote I think it can give hope to everyone no matter what you situation is, whether you are battling an ED or with you running goals. With your running it could be something like an injury, lack of motivation, just getting back into shape after taking some racing time off or just not quite being where you want to be, you can start to think in your mind that you will not get there that it is just not possible. Which could be true if you want to race in a week you might not be where you want to be but that doesn't mean given more time and training you won't get to where you want to be. If you are after winning a race but you know someone better is coming and you know you can't beat them that means maybe this year it's not possible but that doesn't mean next year it's not possible. Or the year after. It doesn't mean because you can't do it one year that you won't be able to do it another year or even maybe a different race. And if it's and ED and you think it is impossible to recover, maybe it is just right now because you are not willing to let it go completely, but that doesn't mean you can't make up the next day and have a new outlook and things change completely and before you know it you no longer say you have an ED but are recovered from and ED.

2. "Friendship : Our greatest joy and our greatest sorrow . For without our most cherished friends our world is so often filled with sad tomorrows."

-I will say friendship has brought me some of my greatest joy and some of the most sorrow I have felt too. Having friends like Laura that send you amazing creations she makes herself or a little bible verse to help you bring me so much joy. It brings me joy because I love and treasure these things but also because I know the love and joy she puts into making them. Such as recently the scarf she sent me for Christmas. I wear it everyday to work, I love it. Ten you have someone like Annette who is an accomplished ultra runner send me a Christmas package of running stuff to help make my Christmas brought me so much joy to know that someone else cared. And when I first got out of treatment Amy brought me joy in a monetary way to help me be able to help my parents pay the bills. Giving me the joy of being able to help out my family. And having the joy that she knew that I was in desperate need and she provided for me simply because she loved me and she felt God told her to help me. Then the joy of making a friend I didn't know all to well while I was in treatment but becoming amazing friends through facebook with her. Kim brings me joy by just now being my friend when we are living a country apart. Then I have other friends that I show so much caring and compassion for but they don't return it. I leave them messages all the time or comment on their statuses whether it be a good one or bad one, and always ask what is going on but they choose not to share with me but rather their other friends instead, really brings me sorrow because I care for these people like they are some of my closest friends but it seems as if it is merely a one way friendship. Like I am the only one commenting on their statuses and they don't comment on mine good or bad. They don't reply to my messages promptly just whenever they feel like it. It is like I care what is going on in their life and they won't share, and I share about mine and they don't care. It brings me extreme sorrow. It is painful to feel this part of friendship. Or even more painful they don't reply period. Or they have betrayed you and talked behind your back to someone and got you hurt and in trouble then became best friends with that person and left you out in the cold.

3. "A person without any friends is like a tree without its roots."
-I often feel like I am a person without friends and I agree that it is like a tree without roots for the fact that a tree without roots can no longer exist, neither does your heart. You feel lonely, isolated, and like no one cares, like there is no one to turn to when you need to talk to someone. Maybe I feel this way because I have no friends in the state that I live in. The people that are my closest friends are friends that I have met at Remuda and still write hand letters to or friends from facebook that I message and as you know they are not always there. So at times I feel like I have no one to share something with whether it be good news or bad. I feel alone and question whether my friends are really my friends or do they just feel obligated to write back and do it as they please to and not when they have time just whenever they feel like getting back to you, even if it is something important. So not having anyone to call or visit I often feel like I don't have friends and it is true like a tree without roots you don't feel like you exist.

4. "I will always be able to get through the dark times in life, as long as my friends are waiting for me in the light."
-I might be having a rough time but writing a letter to Laura, Amy G and Joy (just to name a few) or sharing a message with Kim or a runner friend. Knowing they will "listen" and are there to support me and help me through the rough times. When all I see is the darkness knowing they are there waiting to say something to me to help turn things around helps me to get through. I might have to wait to get a reply but knowing they are there waiting keeps me going and pushing through the rough time until they get back to me with their encouragement and kindness and most of all their LOVE. That keeps me going through rough time and brings me some joy to turn things around.

5. "A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."
-I pray for my friends everyday sometimes, it's directly by name or sometimes to the group they belong to, like my friends that are runners, or are facing ED. I always hope these prayers find these people and help make them strong and get them through whatever they are going through at the moment. I recently had a few good days and one of my friends Ashley R. said her prayers had been answered. To know she was praying for me and that could have been why I had 3.5 amazing days was powerful. I try to bless my friends with love by telling them I love them and showing them I love them with messages or letters or such, I am not able to give presents to my friends as I am in an extremely poor financial situation. But I try to show my love in other ways by letting them know I care about them. I have had friends that have blessed me with their love monetarily or with posession and that is amazing they can and are willing to do that. I feel their love and the way they show it. However they choose to show it. I am really good at encouraging others. I am not good at encouraging myself but can do this and always do this for others no matter what the encouragement is over. My friends are always there to encourage me to have a great and fun race or to be strong when I am struggling. Encouragement is a powerful thing we should all do for each other. I hate the opposite. I hate when other bring each other down and discourage them no matter how big or hard their goal may seem.

6. When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.- Helen Keller

-I admit I am extremely guilty of this. If something happens that makes me happy then it gets taken away I spend too much time dwelling in the past and the what might have been. Instead of opening my eyes to see there could be happiness somewhere else out there for me. Such as my time in Idaho I was so happy out there and had planned on going back out there to try to make a new life for myself but after a falling out with my ex-coach this happiness and joy to life got taken away from me and I spent and still am guilty of it thinking about it and what I could have done differently or how it could have been better or just spending time thinking about it wile not thinking that maybe there is something better for me out there. Maybe I can be happy doing something else. Maybe this door got slammed closed in my face but there might be another one waiting to be opened by me. So I need to stop focusing on the past happiness I once had and try to look for a new sense of happiness.

7. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

-We can know everything there is to know about something, how to be a good runner, how to recovery but if we don't apply what we know we never will. And just be willing to do something isn't enough you must do it. Just be willing to go for a long run doesn't mean anything I have to actaully go out there and do a long run. Just being willing to recovery doesn't mean I will, I have to take actions and try to recovery. I can know exactly what I need to do to run a sub 3:40 50k but if I don't apply what I know I probably won't get that outcome. I can be willing to run a sub 3:40 50k but that doesn't mean I will, I actually have to go out there and do it. I ca know everything I need to know to recovery but won't unless I apply what I know and not just be willing to recover actually go after it and recover,

8. The difference between can and cannot are only three letters. Three letters that determine your life's direction.

-I am also guilty of this all the times saying I cannot do this or that. That I cannot recover or I cannot run that fast or that far. This negative outlook I learned we produce those negative results. I learned this in Idaho while trying to run up a mountain. All my life I have been told I am not a good hill runner so I went in with a bad attitude of I can't do this. And all the way until 3 minutes to the top I kept telling myself that i can't run hills let alone mountains. And was just miserable the whole time. Then I thought to myself what would, my coach at the time say, and I thought, "I love hills/mountains" and started to repeat this in my head instead of I can't do this and I got closer to the guy ahead of me. However that guy should never have been ahead of me but me telling myself I cannot run hills let it wide open for him to smash me on the hills until the final 3 minutes when I started to close in. The next week I had a hill workout and on every hill I told myself that I can do this I love hills and it was one of the easiest workout I had done. I did the same thing with quarter repeats on the track. I've learned if I say I cannot do it I most likely won't but if I say i can thre is a possibility that I can do it.

9. "You cannot say you've lost a friend. If a friendship is capable of ending, it is because it never existed."

-I am having a hard time with this one but I understand it and know it is true. I have had a lot of friendships end. I try to make them work but they don't and eventually the person stops talking to me altogether. And what I really need to think is that if it could just end like that it was never a friendship. Like having someone tell you they love you and still care about you but no longer want you in their life. That is not a true friend. In that situation as much as it seemed to be there was something there and we were like best friends, even family, if you can tell someone you no longer want them in your life they were never truly your friend to begin with so I have to accept that this person never really saw me as a friend and move on as hard as it is. So when I think I have lost so many friends I have to realize these people weren't friends to begin with so I am not losing friends I am just losing people that were once in my life. That even if it felt like it a friendship never existed if they can just walk away from you.

10. "I wish I was a glow worm, A glow worm's never glum. 'Cos how can you be grumpy When the sun shines out your bum!"

-I had to add this quote at the end. It so helped make my week. I am now striving everyday to be like a glow worm. This quote actually made me laugh out loud for a long time. And several times after reading it. I have not laughed like that in years this quote brought me joy. It is saying strive to not be grumpy everyday, you can find something to be happy about. Find it and enjoy it even if things are rough. I don't have much to say about this one, I just hope maybe it made you smile a little lie it did for me.

Take Care of yourself and may God Bless you if you believe in him and may you have a good run and good remaining weekend and a good week ahead.

Summing up 2009 "Catch a dream and RUN....

2010-01-08T04:01:00.000-08:00

To sum up 2009 there were some ups and downs:
Up: PRing in every distance from 2 miles-50k.
Down: Not getting a faster PR in the 50k
Up: Qualifying for 50k Worlds
Down: The actual race at Worlds
Up: USA 50k Nationals
Down: The last couple of miles at Nationals
Up: Getting first Marathon Win
Down: Total mileage for 2009
Up: Mileage in August
Down: Mileage in Oct-Dec
Up: Some of the ultra runners I met
Down: Some of the runners (ultra or not) I met that dislike me now

Races of 2009:
-Jan. 24th- Frozen Nose 4 miler- 1st Place Female- 10th Overall- 25:15- (PR at the time)
-Feb. 15th- Last Chance for Boston Half Marathon- 1st Place Female-9th Overall-1:30:12 (PR at the time)
-March 1st- USA 50k National Championships/Caumsette- 3rd Place Female- 13th Overall- 3:46:30 (PR) and (PR at marathon 3:06:37)
-April 5th- Athens Half Marathon-1st Female- 15th Overall- 1:24:52 (PR) (set PRs at time in everything from 4 miles up)
-April 26th-Toledo "the disaster" marathon- 2nd female 11th overall- 3:14:18
-May 25th- Lancaster Memorial 5k- 2nd female- 18th overall- 19:03 (PR at time)
-June 7th- Columbus 10k- 5th female-39th overall- 38:29 (PR) (set 5k PR at time 18:40)
-June 20th- Run for the Rose 5k- 1st female-5th overall 18:55(19:06)
-June 27th- Hyde Park Blast Elite 4 miler- 9th female- 24:38
-July 4th- July 4th 10 miler- training run- 1st female-6th overall- 1:04:55
-July 11th- Columbus Running Company Mile "disaster"- 5:42
-July 23rd- Suicide Prevention/ Touching Lives with Hope 5k- 1st female-8th overall- 18:19 (PR)(Course record)
-Aug. 1st- Lancaster Festival 5k- 1st Female-13th overall- 18:50
-Aug 1st- paced last 19.6 miles of the Burning River 100 miler-
-Oct 4th-City of Trees Marathon, Boise, Idaho- 1st female, 8th overall- 3:01:43 PR
-Oct 31st-World Trophy 50k- Gibraltar 3:52:38 5th place
-Dec 12th- Festivus Fat@$$ 50k- Columbus, Ohio- 3:56:59 -1st place overall

PRs set in 2009
2 miles- 11:46-7/23 (during Suicide Prevention 5k)
5k- 18:19- 7/23 (Suicide Prevention 5k)
4 miles- 24:22- 6/7- (during Columbus 10k)
5 miles- 30:49- 6/7 (during Columbus 10k)
10k- 38:29- 6/7 (Columbus 10k)
15k- 59:38- 4/5 (during Athens Half Marathon)
10 miles- 1:04:18- 4/5 (during Athens Half Marathon)
Half Marathon- 1:24:52- 4/5 (Athens Half Marathon)
Marathon- 3:01:43- 10/4 (City of Trees Marathon)
50k- 3:46:30- 3/1 (USA 50k Nationals/Caumsett Park)

Highs and Lows:
Highest mileage week- 93 miles (week of 2/2)
Lowest mileage week- 33 miles (week of 12/4)

Highest day ran- 32.7 miles (Oct 31st (worlds))
Lowest day ran-1 mile (Sept 20th (supose to be a 0...excluded 0s)

Highest month- August 352.5 miles (avg 11.37 miles/day)
Lowest month- November 228.3 miles (avg 7.60 miles/day)

-Ran 363/365 days of the year- (The 2 days I didn't run I was stuck in Airports all day to and from Worlds)=
-99.44% of days ran for the year
-Total Miles for 2009- 3362.55 miles
-Average of all 365 days- 9.21(24657534...repeating) miles/day
-Average of 363 actual days ran- 9.263085399449035812........ miles/day

Each month breakdown:

January- 31 days total/31 days ran- 278 miles total- avg/day 8.(967741935483870 repeating)

February- 28 days total/ran- 255.35 miles total- avg/day 9.1196(428571 repeating)

March- 31 days total/ran- 289.5 miles total- avg/day 9.3(38709677419 repeating)

April- 31 days total/ran- 256 miles total- avg/day 8.5(3 repeating)

May 31 days total/ran- 280 miles- avg/day 9.04(838709677413 repeating)

June 30 days total/ran- 290 miles- avg/day 9.(6 repeating)

July 31 days total/ran- 315 miles- avg/day 10.(161290322580645 repeating)

August 31 days total/ran- 352.5 miles- avg/day 11.3(709677419354838 repeating)

September 30 days total/ran- 311 miles- avg/day 10.3(6 repeating)

October 31 total days/30 days ran- 270.4 miles
all 31 day average/day- 8.7225806451(612903225806451 repeating)
all 30 days ran average/day- 9.01(6 repeating)

November 30 days total/ 29 days ran- 228.3 miles
all 30 days average/day- 7.60 miles
all 29 days ran average/day- 7.872413(7931034482413 repeating)

December 31 days total/ran- 236 miles- avg/day 7.(612903225806451 repeating)

So to sum it up. I had some of the greatest moments of my life in 2009 as far as running goes. Such as setting all those PRs with my Dad beside me all the time, believing in me. I had some things I extremely regret. I met some of the greatest people, like Annette B., Kami S, Nick J and Eric B, just to name a few. I also saw some ugliness in some people that I had looked up to (actually quite a few). I made some mistakes that I regret. I did and experienced things I'll never forget. I shocked some people with my performances and some people turned against me because of my performance. I was on a competitive team this year but wasn't "good enough" in some ways to be on the Club Nationals team and that hurt. However, it just meant I got to get another overall win in an ultra. I got to travel on a plane in the first time in like 20 years and not just travel travel, I got to travel overseas. I got to run for the USA, in a jersey, I told people that was my goal when I first got into ultra running and people were telling me that basically I was nuts to think that and I pulled it off my first year in running competitive ultras, and qualified for Worlds in my first competitive ultra and my first 50k. I set high goals and met most of them. Had some disappointments along the way too (Toledo, Worlds ect). Have been dealing with pain in my left leg starting in late August and going through still currently having pain. It subsided for a short amount of time when I was in Idaho but had came back before Worlds. I tried to keep it a secret when it came back but after so long you just can't take it anymore. It still hurts me everyday. I've tried resting it and that doesn't help. I can feel the pain just laying down. I have had to battle my ED unsuccessfully. I have had someone set some new goals for me only to have them broken and had to set some new ones. I have some bad or painful memories. But then I have some of my best memories ever. I have learned people aren't who you think they are. I have learned that strangers can be some of the most amazing people in the World. I have leanred that your dreams can come partially true. (I made the trip there but the race didn't go as planned). I have lost some friends and been hurt by people I was close to. I have had to deal with my severe depression. I have had some amazing runs and some of the worst runs of my life. I've been betrayed by people, been turned away from people with no explanation. I have some runners that won't accept my friend request but do others and that hurts. I have made some great friends from people that I have met online. I could go on and on forever....... but will stop here. I hope you had a good 2009 and have a better 2010. and remember to "Catch a dream and RUN with it."

lovED or hatED?

2009-12-26T04:54:00.000-08:00

I don't know call it a poem call it a short story, but it's my life and what I go through everyday. Get something to drink and sit somewhere comfy it's LONG!

I love you and I hate you
I can't make up my mind.
You have been around with me for a very long time.
You make me do and say things I would never do.
You've ruined the best of friendships that I ever knew.
But the one thing you do for me that no one else can do
is always be there for me no matter what I am going through.
You are my best friend and my worst enemy
and always know just what to say,
and you motivate me to have another "bad" day.
Or maybe it's called a "good" one
of this I'm still not sure.
I don't want you but I need you.
Or is it I want you but don't need you?
Will I ever be sure?
You've hurt me but you've helped me along life's bumpy way.
I don't yet understand how my life went astray.
I sit here in my room listening to everything you say.
Sometimes I really wish you would go away;
but other times I cry to you to help numb away the pain.
Nothing else I do can take away the pain.
You are there when I call to you an even when I don't
Sometimes I think I've shook you, but you always manage to catch up.
Whispering in my ears things I shouldn't hear.
But yet I fall for it over an over again.
Sometimes I get up the courage to leave you behind,
then life becomes difficult and you get me out of my bind.
People tell me you lie to me, but with my eyes I can see, and I tend to disagree.
You are the only one I trust to tell me the truth, of what my weight should really be.
I don't know why I listen because I never measure up.
It seems I just can't get it right, an that I'm never good enough.
But you tell me if I keep pushing every single day, I'll get it just right one day.
You promise me of great happiness, of this I've yet to see.
And you tell me you have big plans for me.
But it seems every dream I have just keeps falling apart.
I hope one day I see the paradise that you tell me is in store.
And not the black storm clouds that are always at my door.
You guarantee me of a future full of bliss and tell me it's something I don't want to miss.
But all I have felt is simply depressed.
You tell me everyone will like the brand new me, but instead most people hate the person I've become.
They tell me I'm too negative and can't stand to be my friend.
They wish I could see the good things I should be thankful for.
But all I see is darkness and everything that is wrong.
You've robbed me of my dreams and what the future has in store.
Instead of looking forward to my future, all I can think of is the torture that's in store.
That's when you promise through all of my pain there will be great gains.
You tell me I'll be beautiful, but right now I just hate the reflection.
You cloudy up my mind and make me fall behind.
I don't see things for what they really are, my eyes see everything distorted from up close or afar.
What's to be of my future? I'm not so sure.
People say if I stay with you that my future will be non existent.
But if I choose to leave you my world seems so unsure.
Right now my life is lived second by second, never looking ahead for what's in store.
For right now since you're with me I hope what you promise is true.
So many promises have been broken leaving my heart torn in two.
I wouldn't know what to do without you. You tell me you love me and want the best for me.
But how do you know what that is? It's still unclear to me.
Oh how I wish I knew just what to do.
Are you the best thing to happen to me or a nightmare that will forever haunt me?
I hope one day I can sort this all out and do whatever is best for me and live with my decision happily.
Will you make me happy or bring others tragedy? Can I live with you forever or one day will I die?
This is a secret you haven't shared with me, but others are worried for me.
Do they have a reason to be or are they just plain nuts?
Because you really care about me and would never think of hurting me.
You and me are closer then close. So I have a wall up whee nobody can go.
I keep them in the dark, so they can't ee the horror that you bring me.
But you also bring me peace and a gentle calmness in my world of chaos and complete utter mess.
You're as big and scary as a monster, but invisible and nothing to the rest.
They don't understand the relationship we have and all of the things you have put me through.
I have stood up to your test time and time again. But is that admitting defeat or clamming victory.
You look at it one way and others disagree. So I'm left to figure it out for myself.
This is where there is a problem because everyone tends to walk away.
Leaving you and me to sort it out together. Because of this you always claim victory.
And when others realize later they declare defeat.
It comes down to who is there to support me and guide me on my way.
And we know who that is because YOU 've given up. YOU no longer care to help me.
So inside I feel destroyed and he is waiting there to comfort me from the pain you've caused inside.
Instead of focusing on the emotion we focus on the outside and everything we can change.
You help me to mask the pain but I'm still hurting on the inside.
You tell me to stay focused on your goal and don't worry about the inside.
And things will come together as they always do. You give me your hand and lead me on the way.
And I'm happy to follow if you'll ease the pain and help me to forget all of the bad things.
This is what keeps me coming to you.
They tell me you are bad for me and I'm jeopardizing my health. But this can't be,
because of how long you've been with me. If that was true something would have happened by now.
But it's true you do cause death. It's happened before but you promise it won't to me.
You are the truest friend I have ever known but you teach me some things I shouldn't know.
You also make me feel that I'm not good enough, but if I follow you, I'll be on top.
On top of the world is how you promise I'll feel, if I stick to the plan and follow your rules.
The guidelines you have set are impossible to meet. But you promise the impossible will become possible to me.
If I just keep practicing and following your ways. So I keep striving to please you every single day.
Everything I do is based on perfection. If I mess up I've failed for the day.
It brings me down and makes me sad. But it doesn't stop me from trying the next day.
Always giving it my all to a goal unattainable.
It's like a roller coaster, it goes up and comes down sometimes it even spins around there's sharp curves ahead even loop-de-loops.
You've think it's come to an end and then it just restarts. Sometimes it goes fast and other times really slow. There's a way to get on and a way to get off.
You have to be strong enough to choose the best path for you. This is when you need others around.
But if you live my life, there is no one to be found. So I always settle for what is comfortable.
Choosing the path of destruction, I've been down so many times before.
It might be the wrong one but I know I'll always have company, encouraging me to be the 'best' me.
The other path is unknown and foreign to me and I'd have to walk it alone with no one supporting me. It would be unknown and new and I choose to be comfy. Because it's all I've ever known as far back as I can remember.
You're my oldest friend I know even though you could be my worst enemy.
Sometimes you pick me up and sometime you put me down.
We have a special bond, I like math and you like counting. So my life is ruled by numbers.
Calories in and calories out, scale goes up and scale goes down. Numbers are what makes my world go round.
Happy, sad, good or bad, It all is simply based on a number.
Will I ever get a break of these mental games you play? The ups and down and high and lows.
The mixed emotions that no one knows. I hide them inside my heart, where no one can see how much I'm hurt.
But the truth is it's jut too complicated, YOU wouldn't understand the feeling I feel unless he lives inside of YOU too.
Sometimes I think it's a demon or the devil that lives inside of my messed up head.
I wish I could explain all I go through on a daily basis. But it's not possible to understand unless YOU've walked in these shoes. And I hope that never happens to YOU.
It's like an addiction that never goes away. It never leaves me alone. But that gives me some comfort and hope that I have someone who understands.
He might not be a good influence, but I can always count on him to be there for me.
He knows what he's doing and how to play the game. He's got control of my mind and brain and makes me feel completely drained.
But without him I'd be lost everyday, he's the one constant I have in my life. Because I've learned hard friends come and go. A few hang around when you're doing good, but no one wants to go through the dark with you.
So you are left alone to your own devices. That's when he swoops in and butters you up.
He promises of a grand tomorrow where you will not know sorrow.
Some people says it's lies he promises. But he'll use his charm to get to you.
And you'll believe everything and hang on to every word he has to say.
This is how you get reeled in to his ways. You turn to him like you always do. Nobody else was there what could you do?
You give your trust over to him, when he reaches out and lends you his hand and guides you on you way.
He treats you like a best friend, until he can't have his way. That's when it's a whole another story. This is when the evil comes out and takes away any glory.
He becomes mean and repulsive and makes you take the blame.
You aren't allowed to go out with friends or family. He wants you all to himself and no one is allowed in.
You do as he asks and put up the wall. To block everyone out and be alone with him.
He's taken over your life and you have no other friends. Everyday you are devoted strictly to him.
Doing as he wishes just the right way. Giving up hope and giving in to him. Doing everything you can to please him. Wanting to do it right and get it just perfect. Pushing away anyone who stands in your way. Until the only one left to count on is him. He has sucked you into his game. It's now you and him alone. With his strict set of rules that you must follow and abide by to reach the goal of perfection. If you don't measure up and follow in his ways he'll call you fat and stupid until you completely give in.
You wish you could get better and get rid of him. But he's always there calling and you just can't seem to win.
You want to be free of the rules and head games. You wish and hope it would just all go away.
You pray for a better life then this. You hope one day you will know what it's like to feel bliss.
You've tried hard to kick him to the curb but he's got a grip on you that you can't shake loose.
Sometimes you are able to act like he's not there but then something happens the next day.
You've tried really hard to do it on your own. you even went to treatment and weren't able to get better.
So maybe it's hopeless and you're right to give in. Maybe it's not possible to get rid of him.
Maybe he'll be there for the rest of your life. Haunting you every morning, day and night.
But then you start thinking maybe it's not that bad because he's always there for you no matter what you're going through.
You think maybe there's a bright side to this thing. You know of all the promises of great things.
So you hang on to hope this could actually be a good thing.
You pray with all your heart that God will help lead the way. And help you sort out the right from the wrong.
And that He will bless you every single day, no matter what path you're traveling on.
You are torn on who to listen to. him or Him which calling is stronger.
You are fighting him with all your might but the voices are stronger then your own
They keep telling you of good things that could come if you just follow his way.
So thinking and hoping you can feel better you decide to listen to the 'devil'
You dream and imagine of the body you can have. And hope that you can stay very disciplined.
And do just as he says thinking of all the joy and happiness that he promises will come if you can just get a few sizes smaller.
So you give it all your might and try harder and harder every night.
Striving for perfection in everything you do. You hope you won't fail him because that is when you feel blue.
You do your best to stick to every rule. Hoping to find the happiness you desire. Not understanding that happiness comes from within. You pray and hope that you will become really thin.
Everyday he pushes you further and further. You must keep up or you're not good enough.
Each day becomes harder and harder. Emotionally, physically and mentally you become drained.
But you still make sure to exercise everyday.
You've become numb and void but still listen to him; for you're still able to think of the good things he said would come.
So even though you're zapped of all your energy you muster up some strength to continue to play his game.
He always wins and you always lose but you continue to hope one day you'll rule.
But the truth is in his game you can never rule because he sets up all the rules.
He is the one holding all the power. And in reality you're sinking lower and lower.
You're fading away in body and brain. Your thinking is not right.
You look in the mirror with bones sticking out but that still isn't enough. You keep hoping you will get smaller and smaller.
But will it ever be enough because even though there are bones all you can see is the fat.
You cry your eyes out and pray it will go away. You hope tomorrow will be a better day.
But will you ever have one when you are never good enough. Does this so called perfect world exist.
Is there and end to this that brings happiness? Or were your friends telling you the truth.
When telling you he was just lying to you.
But he made you feel special and seemed to really care.
So is it some imaginary con or true love? You have yet to feel the things he promises.
And you are unsure of what to think about that.
Once again you are torn in two. Will you let him continue to control you? or will you walk away and say screw you?
Can you walk away or are you too deep in the game?
What kind of ending do you want to see?
One where you lived your life in vain? or (vein, whichever)
Where you did everything to please someone who doesn't really exist; he's just a person living inside you head. His so called goal of perfection, is something in reality you can never attain. It's something that can kill you any day.
Or do you want one where you have to battle everyday.
Always fighting to live life your way. Where you are the one who sets the rules that you can really measure up to. And there is no demon inside your head. You are free to feel any emotion that comes. You are able to deal with the bad and know what it's like to be glad.
But this is a big decision in which you have to choose...
Which life do you want for you?

Festivus Fat@$$ 50k

2009-12-13T09:21:00.000-08:00

-So I will start out by saying I won overall in a time of 3:56:59.

-So since before Worlds I have been having pain in my left leg. In my hip, butt, knee, quad, hamstring and shin. So almost my whole left leg. I had pain in my left butt, hip, knee, hamstring and that lower bone on your back before I left for Idaho. Then when in Idaho the pain went away until a few days before I left for Worlds but I didn't say anything because I wanted to run. So I have been dealing with this pain since back in September but it went away for a few weeks then returned late October and has been back ever since in more spots. But I have just been pushing through and dealing with it, mainly because I haven't really done much hard since Worlds. I did that half marathon in 1:27 a few weeks ago, but as far as training goes I haven't done much hard. So the pain hadn't gotten intense as it was before Idaho when I was trying to do quick paced workouts on it and would be in so much pain my leg would lock and I was slowed down to probably 13 minute pace. I hadn't experienced that kind of pain for a few months. So I thought I was ok.

-So when my team decided not to use me for Club Nationals (don't ask) Dad found a 50k about 2 weeks out and decided why not go for it.

-So race morning comes, Dec 12th 8:30, and here we are in Columbus with my Uncle who is going to ride the bike with me and my Dad who has all the course mapped out so he could see me as many times as possible. Well we get our pre-race briefing and he tells us about the turn around spot and some other locations on the course. Thank goodness for Uncle Tom with the directions and him having, in his previous hay days running parts of the course (I would never have been able to follow it without him)(Heck we still didn't follow the whole thing somehow, and had to use the GPS to get the last few tenths in to get 31.1 miles(50k)). (But we did get it all in I promise!)( I wouldn't cheat myself like that, I'm one that would rather run 31.5 miles and call it 31.1 then run 30.8 and call it 31)

-Well anyways back to the race we started out and I knew one guy coming was hoping to go at least 4:00 if not 3:45. And I knew 2 good female runners that were coming 1 planning to do 26.2 miles and the other 20 miles. But no one started out when he told us we could go so I just had to look stupid and take off. It felt like a good pace and was right on pace with my National performance for the first few miles (6:48 first mile not out of control). At mile 7 I remember I was 49:10 so just over 7:01 pace and felt ok not struggling or laboring or tired just feeling the nagging pain in my left leg. But kept going. (Oh yea I should say Dad got out to see us on the course maybe 10 times, he ROCKS, but not so much at picture taking but I LOVE him anyways). Then I remember we slowed down a bit and I hit the half marathon in 1:34 plus. And somewhere between miles 12-14 I asked my Uncle to cut my leg off. I was in extreme pain but was pushing through it. Then I remember around 18 things just started to fall apart it was severe pain and by mile 20 my leg was locked in on a pace in the 8plus min/mile range and I couldn't get out of it. Even going down hill I couldn't. My Uncle was tying to get me to throw spurts in to try to unlock it but the pace didn't change. This continued until at least 25-26 miles. Then I was able to change my form or do something different because I was able to pick it back up into the 7 plus minute range for awhile. At the marathon I was around 3:19 so I knew if I didn't do something I wasn't going to get my "D goal" of at least breaking 4 hours. So I had to. At this point the pain was so bad and I had already totaled 7 extra strength pain reliever since before the race started. With around 3 miles to go of the course my Dad tells me the next guy was back about 3-4 minutes. So at this point I knew I was in trouble because I still had extra to add on from where me and my Uncle got lost. So I got to the start (it was an out-and-back course) and we had to do these little loops and I noticed the guy coming in hard but we managed to get to 31.1 miles on the gps before he finished.

-I really enjoyed this event and wish I would have had time to train for it to try to run it as more then just a fast training run. I hopefully can fit this on my calendar again to race in the future. I enjoyed myself, I only wish there was a way they could have marked the course we got lost a couple of times and took and extra set of stairs we didn't have to take, because you could have gone down underneath like we did on the way back in. We also went across the wrong bridge part way and one time on one of the sets of stairs I had to stop and wait for my Uncle because I wasn't sure where to go another time we came to an intersection and had to stop right at the split and figure out which way to go. So if there was some way it could be marked that would make it an A+ fat@$$ event. My Uncle thought he was going to hate it because it was so cold. I believe 17 degrees when we started with a 9 degree windchill. But he ended up enjoying himself and actually warmed up on the way back in. This is the first time he has got to see me in an ultra event. All in all (slow time, pain and all) it was still a fun event!

New Training Plan Goal... What's up next?

2009-11-26T06:55:00.000-08:00

OK so a lot has taken part in the last month and now I am back to having my father as my coach. This means the goal I had set earlier this month now has to change because it is just not possible anymore. In fact I don't know if it was possible in the first place. I hadn't told many people it but I might as well now since I am not going for it anymore. I was going to train to try to qualify for the Olympic Trials. To do so I needed to get my marathon down to a sub 2:46. We feel that we are not possible of making this happen. So now we are moving on to a new goal.

The question is what will that new goal be?????
-try to get a faster 50k
-first 50 miler
-try to get on the 100k world cup team
-do my first timed event

and when I figure out which ...... WHERE?????

I might have more to say on this later so stay tuned.........

Cleveland Fall Classic

2009-11-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

-So last week we decided I needed to do a holiday race, but they were all too short, then I found the Cleveland Fall Classic Half Marathon on Sunday.

-My week of training was horrible. I had my worst workout in a long time on Monday and had lost my love of running had another bad workout Tuesday. So the rest of the week was pretty much a joke of training until Thursday I got the love back on a fartlek short 6 mile run. We had pretty much decided we were not going to do the race until this day and Dad still wasn't sure after this. So Friday came and the love was still there, I just went easy but I wanted to be out there. So I told Dad I wanted to go. So Saturday we headed up to Rocky River (?) (Cleveland) to pick up my race packet. Then headed to the Akron area to stay with my brother, Ryan, and Kendra because they were only 45 minutes from the race as opposed to 3-4 hours. (Thanks guys I enjoyed spending time with you and love your house.)

-So Sunday comes around I get up at 4:15 not because I have to but because that is normal. So I played on my computer and wrote some poems and got ready early. 7am came and we headed out the door to go to the race. We found the parking lot they told us to park in which was forever away from the actual race spot. We got there just in time to go to the restroom stretch and warm up then straight from there we had to walk over to the start area, change shoes, get gels ready, number on, stride throughs, ect..

-Before the race I had told Dad I was going to go out whatever pace the leading lady was. Well I followed that but have no clue as to what pace we were going because as we got to the mile mark the guy told us the time 5:50 but then told us that this was not the correct spot it was short. PHEW! (but then again that was the easiest sub 6 mile ever LOL). After the mile mark I just kinda pulled away. The course was a 2 loop course kinda out and back. But the bad thing was they also had a 5k start after the half marathon. And when the runners I was keying off of and the ones I was running with got to the intersection where 5k an half marathoners came together it was a taffic jam. I couldn't see the people I was trying to catch up to, me and the guy with me had to zig-zag everywhere to get through the 5k runners. It was truly a mess and my poor Dad over at the side when he saw me had no clue what place I was in. Until I told him I was leading the half. I had this one guy I called the guy in the yellow shirt. He was not liking a female running beside him, everytime I got up beside him he would spurt away then fall right back we were doing this for a few miles before he finally said something to me, so then we started to cheer for each other as we went back and forth until about mile 10 when I went past and he didn't follow. Then my problem was the last 5k I got myself in no mans land, like normal, and I saw at the turn around point I had about 2 min 20 secs on the 2nd place female, which was a different female then was there the first loop, so I knew she was strong. So I just had to not lose 2 minutes in the last 5k. Then I got scared because maybe with 1.1 miles left or so the half marathoners still heading out one guy started yelling for a Jennifer like she was about to come up and over take me and I thought this was going to be a sprint to the finish and we all know how that would have turned out. But as it went I pulled off the win in 1:27:26(unofficially,I started further back on the line and didn't start my watch until I got to the start line so I am not sure of the official), I am not exactly sure by how much but I think it was around the 2 minutes that I won by. They gave the awards right at the finish and I got this AWESOME looking trophy and a medal too. Then we headed over to the food and it apperared the 5k'rs had ate it all. And just as we were getting ready to leave they brought some more out. SCORE! It was a pretty good race. Had plenty of volunteers to help (thank you) and things went smoothly besides the first mile marker and the 5k congestion and confusion. Way to go CWRRC awesome job!!! Made it worth the drive. Thanks!

Mile Splits (I think some of these were off because I don't think I was jumping around so much pace wise)
1-5:50 (short)
2-6:49(long) (12:39)
3-6:24 (19:04)
4-6:37 (25:42)
5-6:28 (32:10)
6-6:39 (38:50)
7-6:49(45:39)
8-6:50(52:30)
9-6:38(59:09)
10-7:03(1:06:12)
11-6:43(1:12:55)
12-6:40(1:19:36)
13-7:03(1:26:39)
Half Marathon- 1:27:26

Not quite the time I was shooting for (1:26). A long way off my PR of 1:24:52 but I think it might be my second fastest time ever.

World Trophy 50k Trip

2009-11-07T04:47:00.000-08:00

Tuesday to Wednesday- Trip started at 3:10 am. I stayed at Joe's house because he was taking me to the airport. We got out and hit the road by 3:30am. Not soon after starting out did we get trapped in a complete white out. You could not see the road at all. It was horible we were afraid we were going to be late as my flight was leaving I believe at 6:50am. Well we dealt with some more white out conditions but finally made our way to Idaho Falls, only 5-10 minutes later then planned. Well when we got there we found out the airport didn't open until 5:30 so we had to sit and wait. Finally we got our tickets, some lady helped us however later on my trip I found out she did not print my final ticket to Malaga so I had to ask the lady in JFK for one. But ok back to the trip when I got to the gate jst as we were suppose to board the plane they changed gates on us and we all had to go downstairs to a new one. Well then finally I made it to my next destination SLC. From there I made my way to JFK in NY. From there I made my way to Barcelona on Wednesday for a 6 plus hour layover. OMGoodness that airpot was horrible. I couldn't figure out what aything was. Everything was written in Spanish and I never took Spanish so I had no idea what was what. So finding something to eat was hard. And that place didn't have any like little stores with snacks or chips or anything it had designer clothing stores and such there. And not to metnion here I lost all contact with the outside world, no internet, no phone no communication period. Well after 6 hours of nothing It was time for my flight to Malaga. When arriving in Malaga they were suppose to send someone to pick us up. Well I couldn't find him and I tred to make a phone call and that wouldn't work, just when I was about to breakdown someone with an IAU sign appeared. We had over an hour ride to Gibraltar. The guy that took me was really nice and was telling me about the place and things. So I arrived at the Europa Retreat Center around 5pm and got my stuff up to my room and went out for a run. OMGoodness I will have to tell you about running there later. But I made my way back and asked about the internet we wee suppose to have and the guy had no clue what I was talking about. GREAT. So I got myself situated and what not and eventually just went to bed.

Thursday- Morning came and I met Jill in the cafe, we decided to go into town and do the touristy thing after we both ran. We went to a mueseum, the gardens, looked at the shops, ate at a cafe, then even went and crossed the border into Spain and back. We walked for hours, my legs were feeling it and I was so afraid I was going to ruin myself for my race.

Friday- Ahh rest day. A lot of people went out to see the apes this day but with it the day before the race and needing to climb up and down the rock to see them I passed. I did my pre-race run and that was it. The rest of the day I rested. I wrote some of my post cards, played on my computer, talked to some other athletes and just relaxed.

Saturday- RACE DAY. The race wasn't until 2:30 pm so to calm the nerves I had to find something to do and our internet at the retreat center wasn't working. So I wrote all the rest of my post cards.

Race Report- As far as a real race report I don't really have that much. It started with them taking us down to the light house at 1pm where it was foggy and misty (the race started at 2:30 pm and my Uncle said the temperature at the start was 78 F). The course had to be changed so many times they just got the final course set up the week of the race. And I heard so many complaints about it. We went though a ship yard and you were constantly turning either direction. There were 2 hills. They were both big to me, but most people only complained about one being bad. The course was set up so we would go out on the course or a 1k and come back a 1k then head out for 4k and come back the same 4k for an 8k out and back and we would do this 6 times. So this meant we had to do the big hill 7 times.

SO I started out with the race plan. I did what I was suppose to do for around 4 or so miles. The course was suppose to be marked every 5k which is was not I think I have 4 different splits and one was 46k because all you had to do was the final 4k at the turn around, could have figured out that mark on my own. SO I stated out on pace and doing what I was told to do. And I ended up running with Jill at the beginning of the race. Then she wanted to slow down so I ended up leaving her. When I left her, I just went for it. I had my mantra in my head and just went with it. On the second loop I ended up passing Monica (from Italy, the 2009 3rd place finisher at the 100k Worlds) I don't know what happened to her, se just had a bad loop or something, she didn't speak English very well so when I passed I gave her a thumbs up and went on my way. At one end near the turn around I got to see and cheer for Kami again and tell her that no one was coming. That is what was neat about the course, you could constantly cheer for the other runners. Well eventually as things were bound to happen Monica passed me back so now I was in 3rd and next thing I knew I was in 5th. Which was higher then I was ranked. (Before the race they ranked the top 5 girls and 3rd, 4th, and 5th had times of 3:39, 3:39, 3:40 coming in and I only had a 3:46. So I was satisfied running 5th. All three girls ranked 3rd, 4th, and 5th were behind me. I feel into my spot at 5th and got content. I noticed that 4th place was too far ahead and each lap 6th, 7th, and 8th were getting further and further back. So I got content and just survived the finally 16k and the hills. My goal became just get up the hill then keep moving. I started cheering for my competitors at this point not just my teammates. I had fun. I finished in a slow time of 3:52:38 A LOT slower then what we had hoped for. But for the conditions of the weather and the course and my first international competition and 2nd 50k ever. I'll take it.

Side Notes- I got myself behind on fluids early. Me and Jill came into the 6k aid station together so I didn't get any fluids and wasn't able to get any until the next aid station at 10k so I got myself behind on fluids early. I messed up timing on my gels and never got it back then couldn't take them after so long. I tried my 4th one and it just wouldn't go down, so I had 3 gels the whole time. I had trouble with the salt stixs and tylenol too. But I tried my best, it's all new doing most of the work on your own. We were blessed by Matthew Wardian, Mike's brother to have him at the far end of the 4k out and back and he handed me my gatorade each time but the first and gave me some gels so I didn't have to wear 2 tank tops in that heat. Also on the front end were Kami's husband Tyson and their daughter and Jessica, Justin's wife to help. But from that aid station I mainly took the horrible carbonated orange energy drink they had. They also had sponges out on the course and I have never used them before but was greatful for them. I still have a lot to learn.

Sunday- Breakfast came and some of us met up and me and Jill decided to go for a 30 minute run. I wanted to go more because I wasn't feeling any effects of the race at the time. But we had plans. Kami, Jill, Lesley (South Africa), and myself payed the toll to walk up to the top of the rock area and see St Michael's cave and the castle and a few other things including the apes that were just hanging aound. Eventually on the trip Michael and Matthew Wardian caught up with us. After walking from about 9:30 to 12:30 we headed back to lunch. After lunch I headed into town alone to see if I could find a place to use the internet. So I walked around or 2 plus more hours tying to find a place, but was unsuccessful which is crazy because the next day right at the bus stop I found the internet place. But as I was waiting to get back on the bus the Japanese team manager came up and wanted to have coffee before we headed back so I got me a diet coke and talked with him about the race and everything.

Monday- Everyone from my team was gone. SO I got up and what not and then went out for my hour run. Then cleaned up and headed into town this time I was able to find the internet place :)

Tuesday- My extra day there. The day I was leaving. I headed back into the internet place before leaving.......... and I am not even going to talk about the NIGHTMARE trip home.

I am just finishing because it's been long enough and I don't care anymore and have a new race to write about.

Time in Idaho

2009-10-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

**This is unfinshed and unedited, late and all over the place but I thought some might like to hear what went on in Idaho.

Well since I have some free time and i haven't done a very good job of keeping everyone up to date on what has been going on with me in my final preparations for the World Trophy 50k Championship. Back in September around the 27th I came out to Idaho to train with my coach Lisa Smith-Batchen for WTC. My first run here was an eventful one. Mohamad, winner of the Marathon des Sables was out here for a camp the Dreamchaser Events were putting on. Well we went out on a long run that was suppose to run 22-24 miles. And things were going great. Coach was crewing us along with her husband Jay and well then things turned for the worse. See there is a bit of a communication barrier between Mohamad and myself. And when he told me we were back at the house I said no that couldn't be we hadn't been out there for long enough and so we kept running for another 50 minutes that is. Until I just couldn't do it. I knew something wasn't right and I should not be running any further. But foward we went walking now. At this point we had both been out of water and calories for an hour. Then Mohamad flagged someone down in his car who just happened to be a biker and had water he could give us. So that got us off for a little while. So onward we went still looking for the house (at least in my head) until we ran out of water again this time we were able to make some communication and it wasn't good news. Mohamad said back when he told me that was the house that it was back that way. So we turned aound and stated to walk. Eventually Mohamad took off running back but soon after Coach came out with her van. We had been out fom 11 am to 4 pm. It might sound like fun but when it's your first day in a new place it's not so much fun. I can look back and laugh now but not at the time it happened.

So things got better I was able to learn my way around for the most part. With a few exceptions..... LMFAO..... Let's just say during camp I was never allowed to lead. So as I said coach, Jay and Joe and the Dreamchasers had a camp going on during my stay here that I was able to participate in some of. During that time i go to run on some trails and even some sand dunes. I met some great people.

During my stay here I also got to run with some great people. As said earlier Mohamad, as well as Jay, Joe an unbelieveable guy that works for them, a guy that also coaches named Ryan who helped me out a lot, Kathy an unbelieveable nice lady, and Mike a really nice ultra runner friend of Jay and Coach.

I also did somethings that I hadn't done in years, I got out and did some things. One thing was during camp we went out to a bar called the Cowboy Bar (no I didn't drink) but they had seats like a saddle (no I would not sit on one either). Then I went out to dinner and a movie with 2 of Jay and Coach's friends. (it's been forever since I've done something like that) I also went out to the drive in movies with Coach and the family. Also I made dinner with Joe for a few people and we will never discuss anything about a wooden spoon. We also had dinner at friends houses or thier house with others quite a few times. Another thing I did was go shopping with coach and her adorable daughters and found 2 pair of jeans at a 2nd hand store that fit (for now).

Believe it or not I also did some running while I was out here. I ran a marathon in Boise my 2nd week here and won it and set a personal record in 3:01:43. I did my first workout of hill repeats. I ran up my first mountain. Ran my first sand dunes. And the worst part of running.... tapering.... :(

Also one of my main reasons for coming here working on my eating disorder. I have made tremendous progress in this. I have gained the required weight. And have been eating 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. I have not done that since leaving Remuda Ranch last year in August. I have ate out at restaurants, haven't done that in years either.

Week Recap and News Article

2009-09-13T08:59:00.000-07:00

OK so as most of you know by know I am fortunate enough to be working with the amazing Lisa Smith-Batchen, as a coach for the World Trophy Championships 50k. However, soon after we started training, my body betrayed us. Something happened and I have pain in the back on the knob on my left side and the pain then spreads to the hip and the butt and some other areas. So the past couple of weeks it's been trying to just get through it however I could. Last week however on Thursday is when the extreme pain kicked in. I was only able to come out with 60 miles for the week:

Monday- 10 miles (2x5mile loop stretch in middle)

Tuesday- 10 miles (2x5mile loop stretch in middle)

Wednesday-14 total- 7:45 am 8 miles "good" pace 57:51=7:13/mile :)

PM 6 miles- 1 easy-4 "race" pace- 1 easy= 26:50=6:43.5/mile :(

Thursday- TOO MUCH PAIN- 4 miles walked 40 minutes

Friday-7 miles(was suppose to do 8 miles but walk some but it hurt too muh to start up each time so I cmpromised and ran 7 straight)

Saturday-7 miles(didn't get to talk to coach :-( about what to do so I just did the same thing)

Sunday-8 miles (didn't get to talk to coach :-( so did what I had done before but needed the extra mile mentally)

So this was a week full of PAIN especially starting on Thursday. But somehow I got through and we pushed on for this week still having pain but doing different things to try to solve it. But it hurts if I run or if I don't run so I'm not going to stop something I love just because it hurts when it hurts at all times. So Tuesday we tried the first thing at not "easy" pace and went for "good" pace so see what would happen. And we went from there.

So Monday- again 10 miles (2x5 mile loop)- 50 minute walk

Tuesday- 11 total miles- 6 miles "good pace" and 5 miles "easy" but keep under 9:00.... 6 good=42:15 (7:02.5/mile) total time 1:22:52= (7:32/mile) definitely :)

Wednesday-12 miles (subbed) PAIN- suppose to be 12 Good around 7:15... couldn't do it too much pain wanted to quit whole time-1:30:06 (7:30.5/mile) too slow- :(

Thursday- 14 miles- suppose to be Good Pace 7:15-20 push hills- ended up 1:37:57 (6:59/mile)*This is the day I will compare splits with a run pre-nationals.

Friday-10 miles- Easy I guess nothing in my book.

Saturday- 15 miles-was suppose to be easy to good pace- but instead it was extremely slow pace-didn't time it just could tell

Sunday- 18 miles- after yesterday's slow pace I put myself back on the watch for some of it. I was suppose to do 18 but things happened and Dad was not able to get out on the course so I did my 10k loop we set up to simulate World Trophys' course so this was going to be 18.6 well you know me it has to end in .5 or 0.. well 19 was too much coach said 18, so I took .1 by going the short way out on the last on for 18.5...1st 10k- 46:33 (7:30/mile)...2nd 10k 45:39 (7:21/mile) overall 20k 7:26/mile. We arent going to even discuss the disaster that happened on the last loop- But still pleased none-the-less.

Ok now I wanted to look back in my book and compare the times I was running before Nationals. I thought I was way behind what I was running then but apparently not.

This is what I did for a 14 miler/13 timed on Feb 1st....(race was March 1st)

1- easy warm up

2-8:02

3-7:37

4-7:50

5-7:48

6-8:00

7-7:54

8-7:46

9-7:21

10-7:14

11-7:24

12-7:27(mountain)

13-7:18

14-6:47

So for 13 miles= 1:38:36

So on September 10th ..(my race is Oct 31) I ran 14 miles in

1- 7:04

2-6:54

3-6:44

4-6:44

5-6:41

6-6:44

7-6:50 (got to turn around good goal became keep under 7:15 except mountain mile)

8-6:59

9-7:02

10-7:11

11-7:12

12-7:34(mountain)

13-7:13

14-6:58

So 14 miles in 1:37:57

So when I ran 3:46:30 I ran a 13 miler in 1:38:36 and now I ran a 14 miler in 1:37:57

-I can't help but to think this is a good thing, a good sign of things to come (now I've probably jinxed myself)

It's been too long since I started writing this so I forget whatelse I wanted to say but wanted to show you the improvement and how my week had been going.

Also here is an article that was in the paper this week- http://www.lancastereaglegazette.com/article/20090914/SPORTS/909140310/1006/NEWS17/Wait-time-well-worth-it-for-Stickel

A Real Coach

2009-09-03T09:26:00.000-07:00

I have this new coach
Who believes in me
I now have less then 2 months to make her pleased
It's going to take some hard work and luck I'm sure
But I'll run and run and run some more
I'll put my faith and trust in you
By doing whatever you tell me to
I might not get it right everytime
But I promise I'll work off my behind
I'll give it my all with every test
Although I might not be the very best
I'll lay it on the line with all of my heart
And be so thankful you have given me a new start
Others said "No, they couldn't do it"
Because of my 'secret' I admit
But you understand and trust in me
You promised you won't leave, You wouldn't do that to me
But I haven't given you a reason to stick with me
In fact I've given you a million to run and flee
I ask to many questions and I am poor
So taking me on is such a BIG chore
But you put up with it everyday
Even though I can be a HUGE pain
You put that aside and never compain........... (to me)
And you have brought me much missed glee
In one simple run, How could you do that?
But you know what you're doing and that is a fact
I'll miss you and your coaching when the time comes
When the Worlds will be over and all of that is done
But I am going to enjoy the time we have in hand
And listen very strictly to your big plan
I have a big goal and you know it too
I have so many dreams I want to come true
And with you I might get to see one through
But time will tell just like a race
You never know until you finish your race
Here is where 'll finsih my tribute to you
And all of the good things you plan to do!

First Real 2aday

2009-09-03T03:17:00.000-07:00

"I may be disappointed if I fail, but I am doomed if I don't try in the first place."
My amazing friend Laura P gave me this quote and it is so true because I could have easily said this is too hard and I can't do it and not have attempted it.

So I was extremely anxious and nervous about Wednesday's workout. I was doing a 2aday and that also meant running in the morning. I have never been able to run good in the morning and have always been awful at running twice in one day. Especially with the workout I had ahead of me were my nerves bad.

So the first run of the day was suppose to be 8 miles at a good pace. What exactly is good pace, well it is where you can have a conversation but still be pushing it (I think I have that right???). Well I talked to Dad before I went out and we agreed that 7:30 would probably be the right pace but since it was going to be my first timed morning run we figured just breaking 8's would be good. So I set off at 7:45 am (I got up at 5 something but had to have something in my stomach so ate the got ready and stretched) so it was 7:45 before I left. So I set out for 8's but that didn't last long(in a good way). I kept checking myself and asking, to myself, could I talk at this pace. Well here are my splits.
1- 7:49
2-7:26
3-7:08
4- 7:09
5- 7:14
6-7:18 (3:51 up mountain which is good since last time I was 4:04)
7-6:55(3:25) (slowed down after the half)
8-6:49(at worse 3:25 missed mark)(after previous mile swore I hit the brakes)

So 8 miles in 57:51/ 7:13 pace- So this was very exciting to me I was on an extreme high for a long time from this run. Because I knew I could have gone harder and that I did the pace I was suppose to. And I finally got a workout right for coach and a morning one at that!!!

So 5:30 pm- evening run- I had gotten extremely anxious for- so to calm them before hand I did what coach suggested. What she had suggested was I write a poem aboout the happiness I felt and take a "nap." So the evening run was suppose to be 1 easy- 4 "hard"-1 easy. So I went out on my 20 mile couse and back. I wasn't exactly sure what she meant by hard/race pace. 4 mile race pace or 50k race pace?????? With it being the 2nd run and everything I just wanted to break 7's. Here are my splits:
2-6:46.75
3-6:43.79 (13:30.54)
4-7:01.12(20:31.67)
5-6:18.95(26:50.62)

So 4 miles in 26:50 or about 6:42.5/mile- not sure just ok.

SO all in all one was good and one was ok. But this is definitely a step in the right direction for me. I thought I was getting myself out of shape the past few weeks but the first run was a confidence booster for me. Again I am proud of myself for trying.
"I may be disappointed if I fail, but I am doomed if I don't try in the first place."

First Blow/Failure

2009-08-30T08:26:00.000-07:00

So hoping writing on this will help me feel better. I guess my first workout didn't go as good as planned. The line up was:

2 miles warm-up
2x50 butt kicks
2x50 skips
stretch
4x1 mile- 90% HR(with drink and 400 jog recovery)
1x10 min. stairs alternating (1-step and 2-step)
5 mile cool-down
stretch

Going into the workout I didn't know what the miles were suppose to be exactly.

Well here is what transpired-

2.2 mile warm-up (don't ask)
2x50 butt kicks
2x50 skips
stretch
4x1mile (5:55, 6:03, 6:06, 6:03)(400j recovery/drink)
1x10min stairs (alternating)
5.3 mile cool-down(don't ask)
stretch

Later I found out the miles were suppose to be in around 5:45-5:50. So I have an extremely long way to go to get where I need to be.

I am so let down. I have disappointed another coach. This seems to be the story of my life. And this was on the first workout with her. If she was smart she would pull out NOW after finding out I'm not as good of a runner as she thought. I feel like a disappointment, a letdown, a failure you name it and I feel like it.

She is amazing for taking me on and trying to get me to be my best but we have a long way to go apparently and not much time (2 months including the taper so really less then that). I am not sure this is going to happen. Either she is going to drop me(like she has every right to) or I am just not good enough to be as good as she thought......

Got a workout today built in to my long run, first time I have ever done anything like this. Let's hope it goes A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT better. I need it mentally. I am losing my confidence and doubting myself.

PS- Thanks for all the people that are trying to help my dream come true by getting me to Spain. To compete with the best in the World. You are 1 in 100 million. Truly a special person. May you have all the best.

Poll

2009-08-28T10:55:00.001-07:00

Ouch someone doesn't believe in my running

Apparently a few people don't maybe I shouldn't have made this poll or put the slower times there. Glad I didn't put any slower.

It's funny because when I ran 3:46 I couldn't break 20 mins in a 5k and was 1:30 in the half marathon. And now I can run 18:19 in the 5k and 1:24 in the half marathon. Yet people think I am going to be slower.

Absurd

2009-08-28T10:54:00.001-07:00

Of all of the dreams in the World
One so big would be absurd
To be the last one in the pack
And have everybody laugh

To be the last one with all the pity claps
And be dead last on every lap
To continue to train really hard
Although I was told I'll never go far
My dreams were as big as the stars

I'd continue to train through all of the bad
Through everything that was thrown at me and made me sad
For all the words that would hurt
For everything I had to endure
For all the pain I hid inside
For all the times she made me cry
Through all the adversity I had to face
But never forgetting that one special place
Where all of my dreams of being good would escape

Settings would change and so would I
I found a new race where I could keep pace
But with all of the dreams I've had
No would could ever imagine God had this in plan
All of the dreams he has for me
Will we ever see how good I can be
I couldn't do it without him that's for sure
And now what's left is to see what's in store

He has given me a coach with a new plan
Who believes in me and thinks I can
That all of my dreams could possibly come true

How could I go from being dead last and called fat
To someone with a dream that was once called absurd

Changes to come

2009-08-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

I'll probably add more later but I wanted to add it now.........

Big changes are coming you've yet to see
The best runner in me that I can be
I'm scared of the changes yet to be made
But it's time I take this leap of faith
I'll give over my trust to someone I don't know
But because of this I will grow
I'll be free of my past and the harm that was done
But won't be on this new journey alone
She'll be with me to guide my path
(And hopefully never put pressure because I'm too fat But I highly doubt she'll do that)
She wants to lead me to be the best runner that I can be
She believes in me and thinks I can go far
No one outside my family has ever thought that
She'll be like my mentor and show me the way
But I have to believe and follow her way
She'll tell me what I did right and what I did wrong
But can I stand the pressure that might come my way
I've always had my Dad to run to when it would come
But now I have to grow up and stand on my own
And give over my trust to something unknown
I don't have much time of this I know
It is dwindling down day by day
But so much work I have left to do
She's going to need a miracle to get me in race shape
To get me to the place that I'll run great
I've got a big goal of few I've told
I'm afraid I won't reach it and don't want anyone to know
It's going to take a drop bigger then most
I've got to work harder then anyone knows
I want to prove myself and be the best I can be
I've got about 2 months for it all to turn around
She's going to need a miracle to get me to my goal
Maybe I should change it but that's not something I want to do
I'm going to give it my all and learn to trust again
For there was a reason we were brought together
Maybe she holds the perfect plan that God and her have designed
Maybe she can erase my past and give me the chance to be my best at last,.....tbc possibly

Update on the Spain Situation

2009-08-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

Well after things earlier this week looked extremely down with finding out because of my parents having to pay my car bill, car insurance and phone bill they are having to hold some of their bills for it. Well then God Blessed me with 3 days subbing this year already, could be possibly more to come. Well so I thought I was going to add $200 to my soon to be open Spain Trip Only Bank Account. But instead that money has to go to my parents to make the their bills. Which is rightfully theirs.

Well today a runner/coach named Dara Ford has just donated some money to help get me to Spain. This money will allow me to take my first step towards getting there. I am also lucky enough to have been given the help by some other facebook friends, Lisa Smith-Batchen and Claire Mchugh Gilles. These 2 ladies are helping collect money from other amazing ultra runners to help make my dream come true. All I can say is THANK YOU to all who have donated to these ladies. You are truly amazing people. May God Bless and keep you safe in his arms. And Good Luck to you in all your running adventures that are ahead for you.

So things might be looking up. Thanks to the kindness of you. Especially to Dara, Claire, and Lisa. Also on Monday I was blessed by someone who did something amazing for me and I can't thank this person enough for what they did. They are also a part of helping to make my dreams come true. You are truly a kind kind person Thank you. So I am actually having a feeling that this might happen. That my dream might come true. That I might be headed to Spain for the World Trophy 50k Championships. And it is all because of the kindness of a few humans. But there is a glimmer of hope now.

I have a big goal that I need to do a lot a lot a lot of work to get there. But I am going to go out and give it my all for you. I want to make you proud.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.Aesop

Kindness, like a boomerang, always returns. ~Author Unknown

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's Official Spain here I (possibly) come and Last Week's Training

2009-08-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Ok So it is official now. I have the official invitation to Spain. And replied to them that I will be coming. Now ASAP I have to get my Ohio drivers license and Passport and need to do this pronto. But don't have the money. Dad is going to call my Uncle who said he would help. Next is trying to come up with the money for the flight.

Ok as far as training last week after Monday it went pretty good. The last 3 weeks I had slacked off training using Monday team nights as the only training run and have found myself to have not been in the shape I was earlier this season. So After coming home Monday from practice declaring I was going to quit running because I was horrible at it. I got an email asking for my email address to invite me to the World Trophy 50k in Gibraltar, Spain. Well this changed everything because I was training to run a 50 miler in 8:00 pace and now I have to drop down to 7:00 pace. So I have a lot of work to do. And we got started on it Tuesday even though I didn't have the official invitation yet. So here is how my week of training went after Monday's disaster

Monday-CRC Run- 13.5 miles -pace varying from 6:something to 8:something all over the place here.

Tuesday-Beginning Anew- 10 miles- with 3 mile warm-up- 24:47 (goal 24:00-24:45) (+2 sec)
1 mile- 6:18 (goal 7:00) (-42 sec) (3:07, 3:11)-1 mile total recovery back to 3 mile mark- 9:13 (no goal just recover)-1 mile- 6:10 (goal 7:00) (-50 sec) (3:07, 3:03)-1 mile total recovery back to 3 mile mark- 9:28 (no goal just recover)-3 mile cool down- 22:13 (goal 24:00-24:45) (-1:47)
Total 10 mile time= 1:18:11(7:49 pace overall)

Wednesday- 8 miles- suppose to keep it under 8:15 pace- 7:33, 7:20, 7:24, 7:21 (29:40), 7:20, 7:29(mountain), 7:15, 6:45 (3:24, 3:21) (28:52) = 58:32 (7:19 pace overall)

Thursday-14 miles- 10 x 1:30 and keep it under 8:15's- 7:37, 7:27 (1 x 1:30), 7:29 (1 x 1:30), 7:39 (1 x 1:30), 7:32 (1 x 1:30), 7:39 (1 x 1:30), 7:41 (1 x 1:30), 7:47 (1 x 1:30), 7:30 (1 x 1:30), 7:45 (1 x 1:30), 7:28 (1 x 1:30), 7:40 (mountain), 7:19, 7:25
14 miles with 10 x 1:30= 1:46:04 (7:34 pace overall)

Friday- 10 miles-keep it 7:30-7:45- messed up my watch hit stop button instead of lap button on one hlaf mile so only got a 9.5 mile time and not a 10 mile time- 7:24, 7:31, 7:28, 3:40 (.5), 7:23, 7:23, 7:16, 7:28(mountain), 6:56, 6:47
9.5miles=1:09:17 plus extra unaccounted for half mile (7:17 pace overall)

Saturday- 8 miles- 5 x 2 minutes- finally NO WATCH- except to do the 2 minutes

Sunday- 22.5 miles (could have been as much as 23.5 but I came up with it being 22.5)- Just some LSD- Long Slow Distance- at Highbanks park with Rob (who is a 2:50 marathoner)

Total week Mileage= 86 miles

Hoping this week goes even better, but had another rough Monday practice- so I'll guess we'll see.

Semi-Invitation to the World Trophy 50k- Season Recap

2009-08-15T02:31:00.000-07:00

(The majority of this is from last week)

Wow what a week. I come home Monday from my team's practice declaring I was going to quit the one thing I love (besides family/friends), the one thing that makes me happy, the one thing live for, what I have been doing for 12 years. I was so upset I was running awful. (Training for my 50 miler at slower miles has put me behind everyone else. I have a lot of work to do) I was giving up but then I come home to find a message from a friend named Roy that wanted my email address so they could forward me the invitation to the World Trophy 50k in Gibraltar, Spain. Wow talk about timing from God. Then I 'patiently' awaited this invitation and well it never came until Thursday when it wasn't the invitation that I received yet but rather an email from the head guy saying by now you should have received an invitation to the race. Hmmm?? So I emailed him back and told him I haven't received it and he sent me a blank copy of what I should have gotten. And it doesn't directly state that you are invited it says "You will most likely be invited." It states this because there are still 3 races yet to be run with the last being Sept 19th. So it isn't official until then. But we have to email them whether we accept the invitation by Aug 31st.

Right now I am sitting ranked 13th with 3:46:30 (7.5 minutes out of 4th(3:39:00). The other American women that are invited Kami Semick (2nd 3:29:20), Jill Perry (6th 3:41:21) and Annette Bednosky (15th 3:47:59). These women are some great and fantastic women and runners, I am honored to be in their company, the weird thing for me is they all have sponsorships besides me. The American men that are invited are Michael Wardian (3rd 2:56:36) and Justin Fyffe(12th 3:06:49). Now besides Kami and Michael (who won the qualifying meet)(USA 50k National Championships- Caumsette) there is all a chance we might not get to go with 3 races left in the series. The website says it is inviting 40 athletes now whether that means 40 men and 40 women or a total of 40 athletes period makes a big difference.

For me this is a mixed blessing. I have been given that chance of a lifetime. But there is so much that is possibly stopping me from going. The first thing is I need a passport which cost $100 but in order to get a passport I need to get an Ohio license which I don't know how much it cost. Then what if I dish out this money that is non-existence and then don't get the official invite. The problem with money is right now I am down to $9 dollars from a race I won earlier in the month and I won't even tell you how much I have drained my parents back account to. And on top of this immediate needs, my shoes are dead both pairs. My body is aching because they are so dead and of course I have no money to get them, even with the generous discount I get from the Columbus Running Company for running on their team. They next thing to stop me from going is that we looked and tickets are like over $800. My Uncle Tom said he would help with what he could but I know he can't help with that much. The thing is we are fortunate enough to be getting 300 euros (approx. $420) but don't receive this until we get to Gibraltar. So you have to fork the money up upfront. We are lucky enough to be getting 5 days in a 'hotel' paid for. I am not sure about food, one page mentioned it and the other didn't. I also am not sure how we get from the airport to the athlete's village. I have so many questions left to be unanswered.

Update(8/17)- So I was told by the head guy to email him about whether or not we got the invite and I told him I hadn't. So well he sends me the blank copy of the invite and it says to let him know before the 31st whether we accept or not. So well I emailed him back, because I didn't have the email address of the person that was suppose to invite me saying I would go. And asking a question about the transportation. And then asking who I should direct the rest of my questions to. Well I got an email back that I took as rather rude. Telling me I just need not to worry about any of the questions until the invitation thing gets sorted out. Ok what am I suppose to do about that problem?? The whole email just gave off a rude feeling with it. This makes me feel like not wanting to go when someone can be so mean/rude to you for doing what you think is right.

But such a blessing this is in my life. I just don't know if this will all get to happen or not. I still can't believe this is happening. I can't believe this girl that was a 34 plus minute 5k runner that got all the pity claps time after time after time is being invited to an international competition. This is such a dream come true. Yes when I was running so slow I once dreamed I would be a good runner. I still have a long way to go to be a 'good' runner (depending on your term of the word, but to put things in perspective the American Record is 3:13 and I don't even know what the world record is). But still this is a huge improvement. Now I have done all the work over the past 12 years, besides he 67 days I was in treatment from June 20th-August 25, 2008. I have came a long way in a year too. When I started back up I was running 22 minute 5k's to now setting PR's in the 18's. (see below) Now it's all trying to pay off if things would just work financially.

Here is basically a recap of almost a year of running.

In treatment until August 25th

Aug 26th first day running Since June 19th

Sept 19th- Night Moves- 22:13- 4th
Oct 4th- Race for Vision- 22:04- 2nd
Jan 24th- Freezing Nose 4 miler- 25:15- 1st place (PR at time)
Feb 15th- Last Chance Half marathon- 1:30:12- 1st Place (PR at time)
Mar 1st- USA 50k Nationals (Caumsette)- 3:46:30- 3rd place (PR) Marathon PR(3:06:37)
April 5th- Athens Half marathon- 1:24:52- 1st Place (PR)- 15k-59:38(PR) 10m 1:04:18(PR)
April 26th- Toledo Marathon- 3:14:18-2nd place
May 25th- Lancaster Memorial 5k- 19:03- 2nd place (PR at time)
June 7th- Columbus 10k- 38:29-5th place (PR) 5k-18:40 (PR) 4m-24:22 (PR) 5m-30:49 (PR)
June 20th- Run for the Rose 5k- 18:55(19:06)- 1st place
June 27th-Hyde Park Blast Elite 4 miler- 24:39- 9th
July4th-July 4th 10 miler-1:04:55- 1st place
July 11th- CRC Mile- 5:42- too many place to count
July 23rd- Suicide Prevention/Touching Lives with Hope 5k- 18:19- 1st place (PR)
August 1st- Lancaster Festival 5k- 18:50- 1st place
August 1st- Paced Last 19.6 miles of the Burning River 100 miler

HUMBLING Germantown 50k Preview

2009-08-07T10:13:00.000-07:00

Go Here

Lancaster Festival 5k and Burning River 100 miler Pacing

2009-08-03T06:30:00.000-07:00

Well, hmmm where do I begin....After last Thursday's (7-23) 5k in 18:19 I was pumped for this Saturday's race to try to get into the 17's. Well that was until my training leading up to it. Something happened I am not sure what, but if you know me you know I love running and never try to take days off unless they are unavoidable. Well Wednesday came and it was rainy and gray and crappy outside I didn't want to run. When I stretched to run I even told mom I wanted to take a zero day. When I went out to run I came up with good excuses to turn around every step of the way, but somehow I managed to get 10 miles in. I thought maybe it was just a rough day but then came Thursday and well the same kind of weather (even had to run later then normal because of storms) and the same feeling about running, didn't want to be out there doing it. I dreaded every step of it and only did 6 miles. So I knew at this point there was no chance of getting into the 17's I was just mentally out of it. Just didn't feel like doing it.

(Restarting this Friday almost a week later so I am sure there is plenty I'll forget) We got to the race and got registered and found the restrooms and talked to some of the people in charge of the race. They informed me that Rob Meyers was in town and was coming in to run the race. Well I went to warm up and forgot to take my medicine. Bad mistake cost me early in the race. At the start of the race there were some women on the front line but there was no room on the starting line so I went and stood behind a teammate of mine named Matt and Rob Meyers. Well the race started and I was told before the race that this one runner that we knew was trying to break 18 so I knew I needed to try to stay around him. Well I was off from the start. By the time I had got to the first mile I was 6:00.26 and this was way off because when I ran 18:19 I was 5:43 and I knew I needed to be faster then that. So after this I knew I was going to be lucky to run in the 18's. So we were on the bike path went up the hill around on the grass and through the streets and back onto the bike path. For the second mile the guy I was keeping tabs on had just disappeared out of sight. The second mile I hit in 12:07.16 (6:06.90). So at this point it was just hang on. I had been in first place the entire race, had no clue if anyone was near me but at this point my goal was just to stay strong and break 19. Well my last 1.1plus was 6:43.13 for an overall time of 18:50. I was the first female and 13th overall but it was a bad race. But I beat 2nd place female by 2:21. A guy I had beaten earlier this season beat me bad. But I managed to pick up $100 for my trip to Burning River 100 miler and for my family. Rob Meyers won the guys race in 15:05 and got all the headlines.

Race- Lancaster Festival 5k
Date/Time- 8-1-09 8:30AM
Time- 18:50 (6:00.26, 6:06.9, 6:43.13(1.1plus))
Place- 1st female, 13th overall
Temp- nice
Thoughts- Definitely a bad race- off from the start but happy I at least broke 19 again and won money for the family.

Burning River 100- (this is scattered and all over the place)
This whole idea came to pace this race the week of the race when I realized since I hadn't been able to run the 50k in Virginia I had planned to because I didn't have the money for the trip so I thought hey why not get my first pacing experience and 100 mile experience. So I posted on the website. I warned that I had never done it before and stated the 2 ultras I had done. And a guy named Nathan Echols contacted me. He was shooting for 19 hours. So I was pumped I was going to pace him from 81.6 miles to 101.2(the finish line) Before the race I had contact with a lady name Julie about possibly getting a ride to my aide station starting point. Well i hadn't heard from her. Well mom went to town and had the phone with her and happened to get a message from her(We don't have reception at home) So I called her back and we decided we would meet around 6 or whenever I was able to get there I allowed myself an extra hour because I didn't know where I was going. Well I got there at 5 something and contacted Julie he aid he would come pick me up and take me to the aide station at Boston well we got back there and waited for her runner Juli, at this time we also got the news that something happened to Nathan and he had gotten lost for about an hour and went back to his girlfriend, Jenny Chow, to run so he would be later then planned. Well Julie got me out to my aide station at about 6:30. I was suppose to be prepared for a give or take 45 minutes of 8 PM and now was told give or take 45 minutes of 9 PM.

The aid station was called the covered Bridge. Out there I met a guy named Mike that I was facebook friends with. I ended up talking to him until 10:05PM when Nathan and Jenny showed up (with her pacer Michael). So I helped them get ready to move on to a bad 4 section mile of the course. It had over ankle deep mud. It was dark, there were steep hills and I even got my shoe stuck at one point. I am not sure if that is where it was but in this race I had my first real river crossing which didn't go to well. I was trying to follow Nathan who is 6 something feet tall and here I am barely 5' 3". Well I watched him step on a rock and I tried well that didn't go so well and all of a sudden all you heard was SPLASH my foot went straight into the water o I was like forget it. SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH all the way across. On that 4 mile section we did a lot of walking because it was what most people called "unrunable" - I am not sure how I feel about this because even when I was running 34 minute 5ks I never walked a step- but I have never ran a whole 100 miler- Well we ran and walked through the rest of the race I timed the run part of the race. We I picked jenny and Nathan up at mile 81.6 she was in 4th place. At mile 85 she was tied for 3rd place but the other women left the aide station before us so we were back to 4th place. Well eventually we got back up to 3rd place, but we weren't quite sure about this though and the aide stations didn't know for sure either. During our aide stations I would help Nathan and Jenny with their stuff and I also tried a chocolate chip cookie and a quarter of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I never had problems with the cookie but not sure about the other. Later in the race we passed another girl so at this point we now knew at worst we were third. At the next aide station we got it confirmed that we were second. So at this point it became my job to watch behind us for anyone coming. Because we knew the women we had passed earlier had 2:53 marathon speed. Well we passed a few other runners along the way but it was just black behind us. Then we hit the roads and poor Jenny they told her she had to basically sprint she had to run 4 minutes to get under 22 hours. Well she got it 21:59:59 for Jenny and Nathan, 16th and 17th overall and 2nd female. Total I was on my feet for 4 hours and 55 minute with them and 2:40:28 of it was running and 2:14:39 was walking and aide stations.
After the race we sat in the tent for almost an hour. Well it was 3:50 AM when we left the finish area. I didn't have money for a hotel room and I wasn't about to call my brother and sister(in-law) at 4 in the morning. So I figured I would just drive home the 3 hours (plus when you are tired have to stop for gas and restroom). So I left at 3:55 AM and headed home it took me until 7:20ish (normally I am up 1-2 hours before this in the morning). So I got home took my medicine and went to sleep until about noon. When I ran on Sunday I surprisingly felt OK. It wasn't until Monday that I felt anything!
It was a new experience for me. I had fun running with Nathan, Jenny and Michael. I just wish I could have done more for them. Michael knew much of the course so he led us and I just ran along side and helped them at aid stations however I could. I would loved to have tried to help pace Nathan to a 19 hour finish but as you learn things don't always turn out as planned.

Hmmm I am sure there is much more I want to say but just can't think of it. So for now.....

Suicide Prevention 5k PR

2009-07-26T03:36:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to write this but then I had nothing better to do with my time and thought about it, I PR'd and I might never run this fast again. So here is what all transpired leading up and through the race. Brief summary of race at the bottom.

PRE RACE DAY-
I had heard about this race and thought that it was for such a great cause but never thought about running it, as my training had been pretty rough. I had done no speed work, no tempo work and hadn't used my watch except for the runs on Mondays with the Columbus Running Company team, and my failed 25 mile at race pace that turned into a slow 14 miler. So training was definitely not there. Well the cause of the race stood with me and on Wednesday at 1 pm, the day before the race, I went out and told Dad I thought I might want to run the race because of the cause being so close to my heart. I told him I knew I couldn't break 19 but would hope to break 20. Well Dad said if I could handle not breaking 19 (he thought I could run 19:20's on strength) then I should do the race. So I told him I would think about it and went back to my room. Well it was a crappy rainy day and I was scheduled to attempt the 25 miler again but we pushed those plans back because of the weather. So as we were getting storms I debated as I tried to wait them out. Then eventually I decided that I definitely wanted to run the race because what it stood for and I knew last years winning time was only 21:23.

RACE DAY-
So it is hard to wait until 7 pm for a race. What a different routine and everything. At one point I wasn't sure if I wanted to run it because my weight was majorly high. But then my heart was just drawn to it because of the cause. Since the race was only about 10 miles from my house we didn't have to leave until 5:45 pm. We got there registered, I got a new sleeping shirt but was super excited because they had a homemade cookie and cashews in the goody bag. After checking in we decided we would check out the course. Mom had been in town earlier and had seen part of the course while doing earrings so we had an idea. Well at the start you couldn't do the very beginning because it was a loop around the park that goes through a service type road that is full of muddy potholes and then a grass area. Then you took a right out of the park and did the hill, then a partial loop and up a road around part or a circular road then cut it short and go up another hill on a parallel road to the one you came down. Then you took a turn and went down a hill around the 2 mile mark then back up the hill but this time only 3/4 the way up the hill because you turned off on a side road to head back toward the park and loop around the parking lot. So for as flat as Circleville is they managed a hill in every mile. So again the goal became clear of just breaking 20 minutes.

Well it was time to stretch and no sooner did I get out of the car did it decided to rain. Well Dad tried to hold the umbrella over me so I could stretch but that really didn't work. Luckily I had an old Boston marathon jacket in the car so I got it out and went and warmed up in the rain until about the last 2 minutes it stopped. So I changed shoes and what not. And we headed towards the starting line but this time I stopped at the restroom before the race as to not have another accident.

RACE-
I got to the starting line and almost everyone was lined up but they were like 10 feet behind the actual starting line I couldn't figure out what was going on, then some local guys came up and tried to figure out why nobody was on the starting line so we moved up together. The guys were kinda shocked to see a girl on the front of the starting line most of these were high school, or young college age kids. Well before the race started I heard one boy ask the other what he planned to run and he said he hoped to be at least 16:10 and wanted to be about 5:10 the first mile. So the gun went off at first everyone took off then there was like a delay and the group of guys besides the first 2 just slowed down, so I passed them. Then on the next section the gravel/grass road some of the guys passed me back as we were jumping mud puddle potholes. So we make it through the grass section and out the park and up the hill. Dad had got out on the course and the way the course was he caught me on top of the hill then at the mile mark as well. So I got out but wasn't sure how I was running because last year the time I would have wanted to run would have been in like the top 5 overall and this year I was further back. But I kept going I got up to the mile mark to look down and see 5:43.29 (less then a second slower then the open mile race that is on a pancake course). So this was also a second faster then the 10k that my previous 5k PR had came from. So I just kept pushing on. Got through the second mile where Dad was waiting again and I saw 6:03 on my watch, I forgot to look at the overall time (11:46.57) to know where I was but I knew that 6:00's would put me exactly on my PR from before. So at this point I just took off down the hill as to try to restart and pick up the pace a little. I tried to use the older guy that was ahead of me and the younger guy that was ahead of me to catch up to, but on the uphill the older guy pulled away and the younger one was coming backwards. With about a half mile to go I was about to pass the younger guy which I really didn't want to do because I thought he would just blow back pass me in front of everyone at the finish, but I pushed on. Well coming down this road I looked down on my watch and saw 16:05 and didn't think there was anyway of getting to the finish in 2.5 minutes but then I went what felt like a long way and looked down on my watch and saw it had only been 30 seconds so now I thought I might have a chance at breaking that 18:40 old PR but thought it would be pretty close. So I took the last turn on the straight away and just kept running as I got closer I looked up on their clock and swear I saw it say 18:41, 18:42, 18:43.... so I just gave up, thinking close but not close enough. But then I got like a foot from the finish and noticed that 3rd digit was a 1 and not a 4. And I had just crossed the finish line in 18:19.86 a new PR, so 6:33 for the last 1.1plus miles. I had won the race by over 3 minutes and set a course record by over 3 minutes and had come in 8th overall.

POST RACE-
After the race for my cool down I went out a half mile and brought a group of people in to the finish that swore I was trying to kill them. Then after getting them in I went out 1/4 a mile and brought another group of people in to the finish, by this time basically everyone was in that was willing to run it was just walkers left on the course so I went and cooled down the rest on my own. I got my trophy finished the cool down then headed home with Dad happy owner of a new PR, that I don't know if I can ever reset. I am getting closer to running half the time I used to run my 5ks in. What a great experience for a great cause.

Race- Suicide Prevention 5k
Place- Circleville, Ohio, Ted Lewis Park
Date- 7-23-09
Time- 18:19.86 (5:43.29, 6:03(11:46.57), 6:33(1.1plus)) Course Record
Place- 1st female.... 8th/161 finishers overall
Weather- Just after rain shower- 70's (?)- humid -a little windy
Course- 1 hill on each mile
Feelings- SHOCKED- completely not expecting this at all- So very happy- but leaves you to think what if you would have known and trained for it

20 mile training run 7-8-09

2009-07-09T03:49:00.000-07:00

I have not been doing a lot of distance runs and when I do I never time them so Tuesday when Dad told me that Wednesday we would be trying to run 20 miles at 8 flats I didn't think it was going to be possible. I thought there was no way I could go that fast. I thought he was crazy for even thinking it. Before I went out I had to ice my knee, it had bothered me Sunday on my run and then a little during the week. I also had like a muscular or something pain in my side back. But I just told Dad we'll try and see what happens if not then try again tomorrow. So at about 3:15pm with the temperature in 80's I headed out.

I tried to go comfortable at 8:00's for as long as I could

No stopping for drink and gels- grab and go from Dad in car

1st mile- 7:50- This is the only mile that has the half mile marked and I hit it in 4:00 so I thought I was right on pace. But also didn't know if I could continue that pace for 19 more miles.

2nd mile- 7:53 (15:44)- Tried to slow down my pace from the first mile.

3rd mile- 7:44 (23:28)- Could tell my legs had just felt warmed up and were ready to go!

4th mile- 7:58 (31:26)- 2nd half mile up hill

5th mile- 7:52 (39:19)- hilly mile

6th mile- 7:33 (46:53)- down hill mile- Dad was late getting drink and gel

7th mile- 7:54 (54:47)- drink

8th mile- 7:57 (1:02:44)- a little tough

9th mile- 7:41 (1:10:26)- easier mile

10th mile- 7:37 (1:18:03)- easier mile

11th mile- 7:34 (1:25:38)- drink and gel

12th mile- 7:27 (1:33:05)

13th mile- 7:33 (1:40:39)

14th mile- 7:47 (1:48:27)- drink

15th and 16 mile- 15:32 (2:03:59)- 1st mile up hill mile, 2nd mile hilly mile- drink and gel

17th and 18th mile- 14:41 (2:18:41)- missed another mile mark but know I had passed it before 7:24- 2 drinks

19th mile- 7:08 (2:25:50)

20th mile- 7:08 (2:32:58)

20 miles- 2:32:58- (7:38.9/mile)

1st 10 miles- 1:18:03
2nd 10 miles- 1:14:55

Oh yea, got a blister on both feet before 5 miles never told Dad about it until I got back and there was blood all over my socks and shoes.

Hmmm..... lets see anything else I'll add.......

July 4th 10 Miler

2009-07-05T07:57:00.000-07:00

Race- July 4th 10 Miler (Hilliard)
Date- July 4th, 2009
Time- 1:04:55 (6:29.5/mile)
Place- 1st Female- I think 6th overall (2nd female 1:07:29(closer then I thought), 3rd place 1:12:55)
Temp- 70's- Sunny
Course- Hilliard Bike Path- Basically flat maybe slanting at some places but nothing you notice
Award- Plaque
Feelings- BLAH more like a training run- Not a good race- Wasn't in to it- Never felt competitive-

We were suppose to leave at 6 am but again my Uncle was driving up with us and he was bringing his bike to try and get out on the course with me (which he was able to do after the mile mark) but was a little bit late. Dad hadn't decided until Wednesday that we were going to race. I have race 4/6 of the past weekends (now 5/7). We really wanted to take the week off from racing but how can you pass up a 10 miler, they don't come by every weekend like 5k's.

Pre- Race- Nerves/Anxiety got to me really bad before the race. As I was stretching my legs were shaking. I felt this the first mile so that didn't help.

Mile 1- 6:11- Way way way slower then I was hoping for. Was hoping to be sub 6 for the first mile. But at one point I had to take the lead of the entire race. I was pretty sure the guy I just met during the race (he introduced himself, Greg, he is on the CRC team as well) was faster then what we were going but they were playing around or something (he went sub 58 and won).

Mile 2- 6:19 (12:31)- Greg the guy at the time that was in 2nd place, and Rob (who is on team CRC and finished 2nd 61:48) all passed me. Now I was alone until right before the turn around.

Mile 3-6:25 (18:56)- already off of pace- knew I was in for trouble here- alone

Mile 4- 6:33 (25:30)- all alone

Mile 5- 6:43 (32:13)- WOWZA!- another guy passed me- here I thought I was in major trouble and going to slow down to marathon plus pace of 7 flats- saw at the turnaround I was about 1:30 up on 2nd place female-

Mile 6- 6:36 (38:49)- at least it came back down a little- alone

Mile 7- 6:35 (45:25)- still alone can hear a guy coming up though at a steady pace it has taken him a long time to catch me from when he first came into view behind me-

Mile 8- 6:34 (52:00) guy caught me- I used his pace for as long as I could just keep with him- and sometimes passing him and back and forth- knew from here I could go sub 65 if I had 2 sub 6:30's

Mile 9- 6:31 (58:31)- still staying with guy and going back and forth

Mile 10- 6:24 (1:04:55)- 3rd fastest mile of the day- the guy left me with about 3/4 a mile to go- he got a gap and that was it

Got to cool down some with Greg and Rob. Rob and I continued our cool down going back and yelling for everyone still out on the course. I love to do that. I still remember when it was me still out on the course and my Uncle would come back after his race and finish with me.

What can I say but I guess it was about time I had a bad race it has been since Toledo Marathon in April. You can't run a PR every time out there. To sum it up bad race, good training run and I guess maybe it's this attitude that has kept me from getting overly upset about it. I guess I am just thankful to God for being able to run and hey I got another win, too.

Hmmmmm..... Don't know if there is much else to say..... Did you race this weekend???? How did you do???? Good Luck to all the runners with a race this weekend!!!! Especially the Badwater runners this week and Vermont 100 the following.... And of course all of my CRC teammates at the CRC Mile Dash.

Hyde Park Blast Elite 4 Miler

2009-06-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

Race- Hyde Park Blast 4 mile Elite Race (Cincinnati)
Date- June 27, 2009 9:15am
Time- 24:38 (6:09.5 pace)
Place- 9/17 in the elite race(female) 11th/1205 in both races(female)
Temp- 80's hot and humid
Course- A lot of people said it was a tough course and that is all I heard about, although there were 2 BIG hills I didn't think the course was that bad at least not to 2 different courses I have ran in Maryland. I don't know even the Kenyan winner complained about the hill but I just didn't seem to have a huge problem (Well i don't remember one, more to come on that later) (Mind you normally I call a seed bump a hill. I have always stunk at running hills) (on a side note we did have 3 speed bumps we had to go over that were not colored and you couldn't see them a teammate tripped on them.) I don't know supposedly it is a tough course I was just rearing myself for the worse and was surprised by how it just felt like a fair course. Even though some of the to finishers are super slow compared to their normal races.
Award- NOTHING

We got up at 4:35 am to head down to Cincinnati. We got there about 7:10 and had an excellent parking spot. So we went and got our number and that was a trip....LOL we waited in line to be told elite athletes have to go see this other lady. Well that got sorted out and we went back to our car with lots of time to do nothing so we sat there and then decided to go over to the restroom and that was a walk away. We got back and I finished up my breakfast (reduced fat PB sandwich and a banana). At 8 am we decided to go down and watch the start of the open race. I knew the girl that beat me at the 10k and the girl I barely beat at the 10k were in it. As we went down I ran in to Krista well I saw her and I knew who she was because she used to beat me in road races. I asked Dad should I go wish her luck, I really didn't know her just knew of her, he said yea. She was rally nice so we talked for awhile then we stayed together and tried to find the other girls on our team (Beth and Paige). We found them and watched the finish of the open race.

We warmed up and I didn't realize until now typing this that we warmed up 15 min too early for my normal routine. I wondered how we had 30 mins left until race start when normally I start 30 mins before the race warming up, I didn't figure it out until now. I think the fact that the race started at 9:15 threw me off. But it was nice to have people to warm up we followed a group on Kenyans and got in trouble a couple time by the police for running in the roads.

We hung out for awhile at the start. At the start our team lined up on the very back line. I had thought I was honestly going to be dead last. I was scared. The race got started and not a hlaf mile into the race I had "bladder problems" the first time ever.

1st mile-5:45- slower then I had hoped for especially since this was basically a flat mile.

2nd mile- 6:28 (12:14) was mentally prepared for this to be slow- before the race Krista's husband had said that the third mile was fast then he goes well maybe the 2nd mile was slow so I was mentally prepared for this. what I wasn't prepared for was my contact problems-My contact with up to the top of my eye and I couldn't get it back into place I messed with this for over a mile before I just gave up and went with one contact- talking freaky uneven feeling-apparently there was a big hill this mile but I was too concerned with my contact to remember the hill- still "bladder problems"

3rd mile- 6:02(18:16)- it was really weird came around the corner and looked up and swear the clock said 18:76, 77, 78 etc and thought weird or I had just ran a really slow mile and was suppose to say 19:16 but then got closer and saw that a tree was blocking it and it was actually a zero- passed a girl that had a guy running with her- he was in the mens race and seemed to have stopped to go potty then just joined her for the rest of the race- first girl that I had really seen since the first mileish.-still "bladder problems"-

4th mile- 6:21 (24:38)- the girl passed me back and this is the mile that had the huge hill so I thought there was no chance to get her back but then in the middle of the hill she started to fall apart and the guy with her yelled don't you dare walk this and then then we crested a little part of it and she looked up and asked if that was the top and then took off sprinting and that was it for her. Then there was a normal size uphill before the downhill finish.

Feelings- not sure how I feel- not upset- but not happy- just ok with it- My Uncle and Dad both think it was the best race I have had so far based on other people in the race- but it's not a PR

Team Results/Race- I am so proud of our team, we all did so well!! Way to go ladies!!

However what I don't like is the fact that at the race we were told we were 3rd and he'd mail us the money and it was posted at first like that online then later in the day everything changed. And a new team appeared that is called Cincinnati Track Club however 2 of them were invited athletes one from Kenya and one from Michigan and the other is a runner quite possibly he knows. This team did not exist until after the results were up. Also what makes it worse is with our first girl we could have beat them I am just not good enough to run with other teams first girls.

But our team went:
9th- Me 24:38
13th- 25:46
14th 25:58
15th 25:59

Some stats- The girl that beat me at Columbus 10k by 42 seconds was in the open race and beat me by 29 seconds this time so rather close proportionally.
-The girl I beat by 12 seconds at the 10k ran the open race and I beat her this time by 35 seconds

5k+, Mud and Wind

2009-06-21T05:11:00.000-07:00

Race- Run for the Roses 5k+
Weather- very windy and hot and humid
Course- Longer then 5k, included some grass and mud
Place- 1st female, 5th overall
Official time- 19:06(long)- 3.1plus time 18:55
Award-$100, big Plaque, gift bag (nutrition stuff)
Feelings/Thoughts- not upset but not happy just satisfied

Well my week and some started out pretty good then became a rough week.
Saturday- 20 miles slow just to finish
Sunday- just suppose to be a medium run day- 10 miles- 1:14:55
Monday- went up to Westerville to run with team- ran approx 8.83 miles at 60 mins for 6:47 pace(at times even faster then this)-2 extra on own-total of 10.83 miles- this would set me up for heat exhaustion which ruined the rest of my week of training
Tuesday- 4.67 mile- so slow couldn't keep anything down no energy super sick-
Wednesday- Just run (slow) except run 3 of the hills hard (3:30, 0:47, 2:57)
Thursday- suppose to just run slow but keep it faster then 8:30- Well for 8 miles on the loop course I went 1:03:33 (24:08, 7:50, 8:03, 23:31) tough one felt like I was going faster then 7:56 pace- BLah
Friday- 4 miles- 4x30 sec

So the week started off on a high note and then fell apart, no speed work no tempo no nothing later in the week.

Well we got to the race and they actually had a pretty good goodie bag! yea!
Well warm-up time came and i could tell from the start I was off. Earlier this week I had decided I really didn't want to run this race but Mom and Dad had already paid for it so there was no choice. So my warm-up went pretty crappy but I ran into my Uncle who was on the bike and we tried to figure out the course because it seemed to be different from what he remembered the previous year. We couldn't figure it out, there was construction going on and there were cones everywhere in the grass on the bike path in the parking lot we had no clue what was going on. All I knew is my legs felt heavy and sluggish. i changed shoes and got into my racing flats and did my strides well they didn't feel too good either.

So we went over to the start area and there were people everywhere nobody knew wherre the start was. Finally they are going to start the race and some lady realizes nobody knows where the start is so she takes us up to this grass section. Then we run onto the bike path but you aren't on the bike path for more then 50 meters before you have to get off twice because of the slippery mud covering it so instead you had to go down in the muddy grass. Well I got lucky my Uncle showed up he put on his GPS and rode to the half mile marks ahead of the race, I was off from the start. I had wanted to be faster at the mile then I was at the mile at the 10k(5:44) but nope I was 5:50. little bummed. I could hear no one behind me so I just started focusing on the guys in front of me not knowing who they were at the time. at 1.4 miles or so we went up a hill and a guy passed me(I believe the eventual winner) and my uncle tried to get me to race him HAHA. I actually held my groud though!!! So I just kept focusing in front of me when my Uncle told me one of the guys I was focusing on was a consistant 18:20-18:40 and on May 25th he went 18:37 at the same race I went 19:03. So I focused on him now and got to the 2 mile mark and it said 12:05 or 6:15 hmmm... Well the guy was ggetting closer and we were against a strong wind so my Uncle started to tell me when to surge because the wind would come and I wouldn't be able to. I passed the guy around 2.5 or so and my Uncle kept telling me I had to go because this guy kicks like crazy. well as you finish you get to look staright ahead at the finish line 50 meteres away but then have to make a right hand turn up this hill around a parking lot and back down then finish. well I thought for sure the guy would come bakk on the hill but no my Uncle said I stood my ground again. Well then I knew he would blow past me at the finish but no he never came apparently he finished 5-10 seconds behind me.

So I finished and they gave me a time of 19:06, I was disappointed with it, well not upset but just like ok, I can do better. Well I go over and get treats and stuff and talk to the guy behind me. he never runs 19's he was surprised to see that time and unhappy. Well eventually I make it back to my Uncle and he told me that 3.1plus was where he stopped his bike and I was 18:55 so the course was a little long. But they told us it was a certifield course but they had to alter it, so it no longer was, because of downed trees. So not to bad 18:55 I'll take it for the way I was feeling this week and with the way my legs felt pre-race.

I was less the a minute from winning the race out right and was over 3 minutes ahead of the 2nd place female.

1- 5:50
2- 12:05 (6:15)
3.1plus 7:01 19:06 but actual 5k was 18:55

Next up, next weekend, is a joke I have to run a 4 mile race for my team and we are in the elite race! LOL those women a crazy fast on a crazy hard course. I am going to come in Dead Freaking Last, DFL, but will take the hit for the team. After that I am not sure what other races I will run but the race I will be shooting for is my next 50k in August (although the 50k is 31.9 miles this time instead of 31.1)

Hmmmm,... I think that is it Good Luck to all CRC team members for next week...and all Western State ruuners

Columbus 10k

2009-06-10T04:01:00.000-07:00

What can I say but I probably had the race of my life so far.

Race: Columbus 10k
Date: June 7, 2009
Time- 38:29 PR
Course: rolly
Place: 5th female 39/579 finishers overall
Award: $75 and pint glass

Well the day started off bad. My uncle was coming to our house to follow us up and I was going to ride with him. Well he was 10 minutes late and I like to at least be an hour early to races. By the time we got there we were 10-15 minutes late. Then we went to registration and that was crazy but we got out of there and by the time we walked back to where we had parked I had 2 minutes until my warm up should start. So I got a short stretch then while warming up I found out the race started at the other side of the building so I had to go tell my Dad and Uncle and stop to get my stuff for them to carry. Then I had to make my last trip to the restroom. So my warm up got interrupted for the 2nd time.

Then over at the start I was doing my run throughs and such on the one side of the pack where everyone that looked fast was warming up. My dad then told me that the star was on the other side so I had to make my way around everyone. When I got around everyone I found my teammates with the exception of Courtney our top girl, but I thought maybe she was still warming up. I knew she had bronchitis but it wasn't until after the race had started that I found out she wasn't running. So together on the starting line it was me, Jess, Beth and Paige. we were about a foot back off the starting line to start with, which is where about we belonged because I didn't know how the order would go but I knew the 4 of us would be 38-39 minutes. While on the starting line we got pushed back about 5 rows by a bunch of guys. (This is where the second comes in the time discrepancy).

So the race started off and there was this women that looked really good(I picked her to win before the race). She was from the second sole team. So we went off and at about a half a mile I was sitting in the 4th spot but I thought my legs just didn't have it I thought I was running 6:05-6:15 for the first mile because I was so far behind 1st and 2nd place. They had to have been like 5:15 and 5:20 at the mile mark because I ended up being 5:44 which was only 9 second off what I ran in high school. LOL. So I was like ok and kept going. But it was strange by the quarter mile mark my mouth was completely dry like cotton mouth. Well right before the 3 mile mark a girl from the Earth Drummers team passed me. Now I was worried because I was running first girl for our team and both of the teams I thought existed had there first girls ahead of me and there was no chance of catching the first women she was gone. But I kept my eye on the ED girl but she was running with a guy and I was so frustrated because I was alone. Then I saw the guy start pulling away from her so I tried to close the gap I closed it back to probably 20-30 seconds at one point but with the pick up she picked up another 15-25 seconds in the finishing kick. As I approached the 5th mile I knew I cuold not catch up to her so I started to relax.

So as I was just focused where I was I knew I was running a PR and at 30 minutes into it or so I looked at my watch and saw baring a disaster I was going to run in the 38's my goal. So I was just going along then just after 5 miles I see my Uncle come running up the road towards me as I make a left hand turn on to the bike path way from him (my Dad was trying to get theree too). But my Uncle screamed out probably the most important thing he could have at that point. He screamed think of the girls behind you. Making me realize somone is coming. So I told myself you have no kick you need to stay strong the last mile plus. So as i am trying to finish strong with about .2 left a group of people starting screming and cheering so loud for "Heather" I thought at this point I was done. I knew I had no kick and there was nothing I could do if she caught me, which by the sound of their voices seemed like it was going to happen any second. They were so excitedly cheering her on.

I didn't look up to see the finish until about 50 meters from the finish. We never passed a 6 mile mark so I was off on how close I was to the finish. And I just felt it coming I thought for sure I was a sitting duck but no. No one came. I saw the time and was so estatic, they annouced me over the loud speaker. I had finished 5th place female. And since Courtney and others did not show up I was first girl on our team. I got out of the shoot and found my Dad and Uncle to watch our team all pile in together. Jess, then Paige, then Beth. If it was a 4 girl cross country meet we would have won easily but that was not the case it was based on the top 4 girls times added up and well. Earth Drummers had beat us at both the 1st and 2nd spots but we beat them at the 3rd and 4th spots. Second sole ended up not having a team (Thank Goodness). So we had no clue who won until later at Jim Jurevich's house at his BBQ for the team. Someone asked and we found out our team had won! Later I found out we had only won by about 1:25, too close but we pulled it off. Had we had Courtney like planed (before she got sick) we would have won easily by about 5 minutes and would have beat them in all 4 spots.

Our Team went(I think):
5th- Me 38:30
7th Jess 38:58
8th Paige 39:21
10th Beth 40:07
(2:36:56 vs ED 3:38:21 vs another teams 3:42:38)
16th Jamie 42:32

Way to go ladies we rocked!!! Close finish but we pulled it off!!!! We all did awesome and almost 4 of us got our PR's. I already tried to discredit the course but we had a teammate with GPS and it came up exactly right. So our team did awesome!

I set some major PR's along the way.
1st mile- 5:44 (9 slower seconds then my high school PR from April 2000)
2nd mile- 6:11 --> 11:55 PR (by 2 second over my high school time of May 2000)
3rd mile- 6:08--> 18:04 PR (by 20 seconds over 5k race from May 25 2009)
5k- 18:40-PR --> (by 23 seconds over old PR set May 25 2009)
4th mile- 6:18--> 24:22 PR (by 49 seconds over old PR set during half marathon April 5 2009)
5th mile- 6:27--> 30:49 PR (by 53 seconds over old PR at same half marathon April 5 2009)
10k- (1.2plus)- 7:40-- 38:29> PR (by 56 seconds over old PR at the half April 5 2009)

I am so thankful to God for this race. I was hoping and praying just for even 38:58. And to run 38:29 wow what a blessing! I still need to learn to push myself or make myself feel pain. Everyone talks about how much they were hurting and how much it hurts to run and such. But I have only once ever felt that pain and that was when I finished 3rd at USA Nationals in the 50k. But besides at the end of that race I have never been where I just feel like the race hurts and am dead afterwards. I got 3.3 cool down but I missed going with the team but I found Paige and got to run with her some and then I got to run with Beth some.

The award ceremony was nice. It was out looking the river and we sat on these grass/cement huge step/bleacher thingies.

After the awards ceremonies a lot of us girls were talking and we had not really heard of the first 4 girls so I did some research to find out more about them.

1st Place- Sarah Flament- 35:30-
-Top Ohio Female at Boston with a 2:54
-Trying to qualify for the 2012 Olympic trials in the marathon
-Top American finisher at the Ogden 20k 1:17:40
-17:20, 1:22:40

2nd Place- Amy Robillard- 36:15
-This one threw me a bit I found results at a bunch of different states then I found ladies with different ages. So I think all I have onn her is a 1:22:58, 2:59:34

3rd Place- Katie Navarre- 36:30 a junior at Denision
-Track 2009- 35:58, 17:12- 6th place in the 10k at Nationals and 5th place in the 5k at Nationals
-Cross Country- 9th at Nationals

4th Place- Carrie Birth- 37:47
-All I can figure is she is having a break out year! The best times I could find on her were 18's for 5k 60's for 15k and 1:27's for the half

I would definitely have to say this was the race of my life so far. My Uncle said this is the best race he has ever seen me run. I was so happy with my race to finish in the top 5 and get money and then for our team to finish in first topped it off! What a great day in Columbus for a lot of us! The Columbus Running Company put on a fantastic race!

Disappointing 5k PR

2009-06-01T05:10:00.000-07:00

Race- Lancaster Memorial Day 5k
Date- Monday May 25th, 2009
Time- 19:03
Place- 2nd female- 18th overall (worst overall so far this year Sunday will be worse though)
Award- $75

On May 17th I ran 5 miles with my Uncle Tom then he biked 5 miles while I ran 5 more. During the run we talked about the Memorial Day race that was coming up on the 25th and how last year it was won it 21:08 and Brooke was 2nd last year pushing the baby stroller in 21:16. At that point the race cost $10 but I didn't have that much money in my bank account from the 4 weeks I went without subbing so my Uncle said if I wanted he would pay for me (Later we found out the price went up to $15 the day of the race so my Dad ended up paying for it) But I had 2 problems on Monday the 11th my throat started to hurt and it became a cold/infection that I still have today. It really didn't effect my training until Wednesday. Then on Thursday I tried to do a workout of 10 miles with 3 mile at a good pace. Well I started out running and had pain in my right knee and hamstring but I pushed through the first hard mile and pushed on to attempt a 2nd hard mile then during that one the hamstring pain got too great. I had to pull up and slow down I decided to take the short way in and cut off 2 miles. as I slowed down my hips started to hurt. I was a mess I just thought it was a really bad day and let it go, until the next day when I subbed and nothing really hurt, so I got home and looked at my shoes. To my surprise they were worn out I had worn the back part of the rubber sole completely off them ( I am not sure how long i was running on them like this). With the cold and the aches I was not able to get in any real training runs the remainder of the time up until the race. (But my parents bought me a new pair of shoes on the 20th for an early birthday present)

Even though I had a cold/infection and the aches from the shoes we were going to do the race because the awards for the top three were $100, 75, 50 and last year the winning time was 21:08 and we knew even though I hadn't trained in days and had been sick and have not done speed work in years We knew I could run that time. Well on Saturday the 23rd, Dad had me do just 1 mile hard to see what I could do during my 10 mile run. I ended up running it in 5:51, I have not broke 6:00 for a mile in over 8.75 years. My PR in the 5k was 8.75 years old so we thought maybe I had a chance to go for it. My previous PR was 19:15.

Going into the race I set the goal of breaking 19:00 and winning and getting the $100. Unfortunately as we pulled into the parking spot I learned that one of those things would not be possible because I saw one of my new teammates Courtney Q. (She is an amazing runner and a 16:30 hopeful).
So now the race was for 2nd place and breaking 19:00. Well the wind was not much but just enough the whole last .85 miles that I knew I might be a battle to break it. I knew for the first mile I needed to be under 6:00 to have any chance to break 19. We started out at the very beginning kinda slow so I pushed the pace a little knowing clear and well I wasn't going to win but knowing that I needed that time. The school lane is .75 miles almost exactly I managed to hang with everyone and the lead pack for about .65 miles then this big gap just opened up in front and behind me. I was all alone (like normal). I hit the mile mark at 5:50 (all right I was on pace to break 19) Then I don't know but I lost focused might have been having a bad ADD day but I completely lost track of what I was doing the next miles was 6:17 now I knew there was no chance of getting under 19 but knew I still had a chance for a PR. so I pushed on. Then we headed into that little bit of wind there was. I saw my time hitting the lane with .75 miles to go and knew I need a sub 6:00 min pace to get under 19 and with the wind it wasn't going to happen but I fought my hardest. I started catching people on the way in or at least getting close to them. as I got in there I saw there clock and if I had done any speed work I might have been able to get it I just stared at the clock watching as I finish it flip over to 19 mins I finished with a 6:55 1.1 plus miles for 19:03. A PR yes but not as good as I was hoping for.

I learned at the finish that our guys there were three of them there went 1-2-3 (Eric, Matt, and Dave), and there were some good runners there and some from another store team. The 2 of us girls that were there went 1-2. So as a team the Columbus Running Company took 5/6 of the top spots and there were only 5 of us there. After the race I caught the group talking and they were going for a cool down so I asked if I could go with them as long as I could stay with them. Well staying with them was the thing. We went out and the slowest mile we did the first one was 7:30 and we jut got faster from there. I stayed with the group until the last maybe 100 meters when they started to pull away but one of the guys Dave stayed back and talked to me. Of course I ran behind the guys trying to keep up and Courtney ran beside the guys so i didn't get to talk to her. After the race I got to talk to her a little bit. She ended up running around a 17:50 with no competition and was upset with it knowing that her 10k pace is faster then that. but she also knows her training is not where she wants it yet because of coming back from an injury. Look for big things from her when she starts to get her training up to where it should be!!!

So to sum it up, it was my first race as being 27 years old and my first race as part of the Columbus Running Company's team. I finished with a PR at 19:03, not as fast as I had hoped for but considering the previous 2 weeks training and infection/cold not so bad. Didn't get the win or the $100 but got 2nd place and $75. So I am mixed about the race I am disappointed I didn't reach either goal of breaking 19:00 or winning but did get a PR. So I am not sure if I am happy or not. Two weeks to go of training for this short stuff and it's back to ultra training!!!!

1st mile- 5:50
2nd mile- 6:17 (12:07)
1.1plus- 6:55 (19:03)

Big Race, Big Failure/Disappointment

2009-04-28T05:23:00.000-07:00

-Ok this is a race report from the Toledo marathon but will be scattered and all over the place and my splits will be towards the end. I tried to organize it all. I am not spell checking there is too much....this is really lengthy if you want the splits go down to the bottom

-Info: The race was Sunday, April 26th, 2009. It was sunny and the temperature was in the 80's with the winds I would say around 15-20 mph. Time 3:14:18, 7:25 pace. Finished 2nd Female and 11th overall.

Feelings-disappointed, failure, sad, broken hearted, down, mentally broken, dead, embarrassed, crushed, destroyed, humbled, torn apart, distraught

-Weight: The biggest thing I'll take from the race is this lesson. So my question is how many unsuccessful races is it going to take for me to realize I am not going to be able to stay at the weight I want??? I am not competitive over long distances at my current weight. If I want to be competitive over longer distance races I need to do as everyone says and gain some weight. They are right I have nothing left in the tank for the latter portions of the race. There are no energy stores built up and I end up dying hard and fast in the races. It's horrible because I am currently running the best of my life in shorter events, but those are not the distances I want and like to be competitive in. I want to be able to compete at the longer distance races.

-Goals- Before April 5th my goal was to break 3:03 so I had to run 6:58 pace. Then April 5th came and everything changed. Before I had ran a 50k in 3:46:30 during which my marathon split was around 3:06:37 and I had a half marathon PR on February 15th at 1:30:12 (which was a horrible race) so sub 3:03 seemed realistic and I was doing 10 mile training runs in 73:30. April 5th came and I ran a 5:20 PR in the half marathon in 1:24:52 (6:28 pace) my 10 mile training runs dropped to 68:30. So then our goals changed to a sub 3:00 or 6:51 pace. Then I found out a lady was coming that had ran 2:59 twice this year so I adjusted my goal to 2:56:59 or 6:45 pace with a super A goal as 2:54 something for 6:39 pace. (This lady ended up finishing 4th in about 3:24) So I was definitely in better shape for this race then Nationals.

-Cramp- somewhere within the first 5 miles I got a cramp in my right calf I felt the entire way. During my training since Nationals I have been dealing with pain on the left side of my body. The last few days before the race I was experiencing pain on the right side. Also this happened at Nationals as well but I got a kidney stone in the few days before the race, I had major pain in my left hip front and back and my urine was redish.

-Biker Jim-Since I lead for the first 14.5 miles I got a biker with me for part of the run. I went by at mile 5 and these 2 guys were sitting there on bikes and asked me if I was running the marathon and I shook my head yea. He came up with me and asked me again and I said yes and he said I am Jim and I'll be riding with you part of the way. (At the pace I had already slowed down to I thought part of the way was the correct way of putting it) Well it wasn't until I threw down a 7:21 mile that Sarah passed me around 14.5 miles. With her though was another biker and on that bike it said lead master runner. My bike guy left me for a little bit and the 2 bikers talked and then the next thing I knew biker Jim was back riding with me. Because I finished 2nd he ended up staying with me the whole race. We did have people confused as his bike said leading female . Oh yea he kept calling me kiddo he must not have realized how old I really am!!!

-Sarah Plaxton- How freaky was it that on the starting line of the race I look down at the ground and behind me I see this shoe with the name Sarah Plaxton (our timing chips were these sticker type things with our name on them) I ran over about 2-3 minutes before the start of the race and told my Dad I knew that name. I didn't know how I knew it but I knew I knew the name. She passed me at mile 14.5 and beat me by over 10 minutes. I went home to google her name and found out to my surprise she is accomplished runner. She has from what I could find a PR of 2:46:27 which qualified her for the 2004 Olympic Trials. She has won 7 Traverse City Bayshore Marathon titles. In 2008 she ran 6 marathons winning 2 of them. In Sept 2008 she won the Akron Marathon in 2:57, in Oct she was 5th at the Detroit Marathon in 2:54. She has placed in the top 5 3 times at the Quad City marathon. She has numerous other stats but I'll stop there. However I'm not sure how I knew her name because she is from Michigan.

-RRCA Ohio Championship- This race was named the Ohio Championship marathon. I am really not sure how I placed in this event for a couple reasons. I guess I did finish 2nd in the race but she was from Michigan so does that mean I am first?? but then I don't think I belong to RRCA so does that mean I don't place at all??

Pacer-A few weeks out I was talking to someone at the time I considered a friend and I talked to him about pacing me to a sub 3:00 marathon. He said he would. He talked to me a lot about it over the weeks/days leading up to the marathon. He seemed excited about it. We went up Saturday to spend the night at the host hotel. Well before we left I asked him less then 24 hours before the race are you sure you are coming. He said he definitely was. So I went to the expo and paid the $75 registration fee for him. So basically it was like a job I was paying him to come and help me break 3:00. But race morning he was suppose to meet at 6:30 at the hotel lobby we waited, waited and waited he never showed up and we never got a call. So my $75 (that was my phone bill) (Just a note that he new I don't have a jo but I do sub when I get a chance but I haven't subbed in 4 weeks so that means no money and I make less the $75 a day when I sub) So the registration fee was over one day pay for me. And he knew I was months behind in my bills) But he still let me pay for the race and didn't show. If he was any tye of descent human being with a conscious he would pay me the $75 back. But he's not. He's not man enough to own up to his wrong doing and make right for it.

-Half way and Dad- At the half way point I was at 1:30:31 I was fully expecting women by the flock to start passing me, I was way off pace and I was getting slower and slower. during the first half I was alone for the most part but if someone caught up to me I would run with them for as long as I could but eventually one of us would fall off the other and I was back to trying to run on my own. Out of nowhere around the 17 mile mark Dad was there. He gave me an extra gel. I missed the 17 mile mark somehow. But when I saw Dad I had just ran a 8:06 the last mile. I told him that hoping he would stop me but he didn't. He would just drive up a mile or 2 on the course and keep urging me on. He reminded me to take my last gel because I almost forgot. I stopped seeing him around mile 22 or so. I was going slow but I was passing all these guys that had passed me earlier in the race. I was still waiting to get passed by all these women but no one was saying anything about someone being close. So I just kept pushing on knowing the difference between 2nd and 3rd was an extra $100.

-Random-Just last week I got an email telling me I could be on the CRC Red Team (Columbus Running Company Team) http://www.columbusrunning.com/ Well during the race there was a guy from there team running when I passed him I didn't know who it was but I just yelled to go CRC. Well near the time I did that someone from the sideline yelled for me. I have no clue who it was I don't know anyone from Toledo or near the area. But they yelled Go Amanda I looked over but didn't spot anyone I knew. I must have looked really bad when I finished because I had probably 6 people try to take me to the medical tent. Finally I just wanted an orange so I asked one of them where the oranges were but he was afraid to let me walk over there alone so he made me walk with him until we found my mom.

-Complaints- 1. There were 2 different course maps online. the map they had at the expo said it started at a different place then what the race instructions said. The one they said was correct was not the map they had at the expo. It was the map that had the course marked as being 26.9 miles, well you figure if you take tangents maybe it could be correct. Well the problem with that is the course is open to traffic so you can't take the tangents. 2. Had I not had the bike guy with me I would have been so lost I almost missed a turn before I had the bike guy with me but there were so many turns I would have never been able to follow the course. 3. The footing of the course was so bad I should have trained on trails. I twistwed my ankle 6 times. 4. They said at the end they would have commemorative mugs for all finishers and they didn't. 5-8. Here is one of the biggest things we had a complaint about well here I'll wrap 5-8 together they are the biggest ones. First the expo started at Noon but the hotel would not let you check in until 1 pm at the earliest and this was the host hotel you think they would have it planned out accordingly. Then when we came back from the expo and there was a frat group on our floor. We found out they had 11 rooms. It was a formal of some sort but it was around 3 and they were partying and loud already. We went out to see the course and came back around 6 and it was crazy loud on our floor, alcohol was all over the place and the party hadn't even started yet. We were not staying on that floor Dad called and they moved us (the only good thing they did) As we were moving floors there was an employee telling them they had many complaints about them and they needed to quiet down. The guy started to back talk him. We knew it was going to be a long night. Mom heard in the morning a worker speaking to the manager about the damage the group had caused and they trouble they caused security and all the complaints. The next two kinda tie together. The latest check out time they would give us was 1 pm well first of all the race didn’t finish until 1pm so those people get screwed. But the race said the awards ceremony would start at 2pm so we had an hour with nothing to do and nowhere to go. But we needed cash so we walked around the town and found a bank and got money out. Then we arrived back to the park at about 1:40. Immediately upon arrival I had a group of people that had marathon guide.com singlets on tell me they already did the top female awards. Then on the way up to the stage area we had 2 other group tell us the same thing so they lied about the 2pm award ceremony time and there were still people finishing. It was a disaster. Everything at the end of the race was ran poorly. 9-10 these I guess are just nit picky details but the shirt and the expo were two of the worse things ever. I don’t know how you could call that and expo, it should just have been called packet pick up with a little extra. The shirt is one of the ugliest I have and I got a medium because I don’t like things to be really small and I am swimming in it. 11. Doesn’t effect me but I thought was sad there was a little kid that registered ahead of me for the kids race and the were suppose to get teddy bears with their registration and supposedly all of them were stolen. Kinda of weird no mugs and bears as promised. 12. This kinda ties into the one about the mugs but I was rally disappointed with their awards. I got the little medal at the finish which was nothing fancy and then got my $200 for second place but have nothing that says I got second place they gave plaques to the age groups you think they would give plaques to overall women too.

Now what most of you are waiting on the splits-
1- 6:35- no this was not going out too fast my super A goal was 6:39 pace and I knew I needed to make up time for the 4th mile going up hill across the bridge. This was actually slower then I wanted.
2-6:42- this is when I knew it wasn't going to be my day :( I think I could feel the calf cramp already
3-6:31
4- 7:00- bridge
5-6:41
6- 6:52(gel)
7- 6:58
8-7:08
9- 6:59- some guy passed me and I was able to pull off him a little
10- 7:02(gel)
11-7:01
12- 7:08
13- 7:09
13.1-1:30:31
14-7:21
15- 7:34- got passed by Sarah- (gel)
16-8:06-there was a turn around here (no the course was not out and back) I was suppose to look at my watch at the turn around and see how long it was until the next lady went by me then double the time to see where I was but I was so out of it already I forgot to until it was too late and then I didn't care to look around.
17 & 18- 15:15- saw Dad at 17 miles and just told him about the 8 min mile hoping he would pull me but he didn't he gave me another gel and pushed me on I didn't get the mile split because I think that is where he was
19- 7:53
20- 8:03
21- 8:12
22- 8:20
23- 8:21
24- 8:02
25- 7:52
26- 7:49 (.2plus 1:32)
26.2plus- 3:14:18

I am extremely disappointed/embarrassed and just feeling completely down over this race. I am not sure if I am going to wait a couple of weeks find another marathon and try to do better so I feel better or just wait a couple of more weeks and try my next ultra. I don't know when or where either would be but something. Any ideas/suggestions?????

Race Nerves

2009-04-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

Ok this is going to be scattered and all over the place but I need to get these feelings out. I have an upcoming race some of you know about some of you don't. I don't really want to announce it to everyone. I am extremely nervous about it. It seems like there are high expectations in place and maybe deservedly so. Before my latest performance in the half marathon in 1:24:52, April, 5th I was going based off of what I did at the USA 50k National Championship, 3:46:30 but if we break down my time I was approximately at 3:06:37 for the marathon. Everyone was telling me that with this time I should be able to break 3:00 for the marathon but I knew better because I lack the foot speed that guys have (and these were mostly guys telling me about this). Also before my best half marathon was 1:30:12. And because this calculator thing that computes it 5 different ways then averages the times has-

03:07:24

03:09:58

03:09:12

03:07:24

03:04:46

03:08:30

Which besides the 3:04 I ran faster then those at Nationals so I knew I could go faster then what it predicted, because at Nationals I really died hard at the end. So with all of that combined me and Dad set the goal of trying to PR and run under 3:03 and to do that I need to go 6:59 pace.

But now since I ran that 1:24:52 half everybody is telling me that I am capable of breaking 3:00 for the marathon, and that has become my Dad's goal as well. And this is what the calculator predicts-

02:54:38

02:57:11

02:56:59

02:58:56

03:07:01

02:56:56

So besides the 3:07 which I ran faster during the 50k it says I should be able to also. But I am really nervous and afraid that I won't be able to.

So maybe the 1:24:52 was just a fluke and I won't be able to break it. I am so nervous for this race it is weird. Maybe I feel added pressure because the race director gave me a free entry into the race. Maybe I'm feeling this way because I've had bad workouts this week. I don't know??????????? But I gotta go run So maybe I'll post more on this later. Any advice encouragement words of wisdom?????? Anything????

Difference of training and love of running

2009-04-13T04:24:00.000-07:00

Wow with all the different types of training there is today I never thought someone would dislike you because of yours. But the other day on facebook I had someone de-"friend" me because of mine. But technically it was no big loss because he had said rude comments to me me in the first place. Such as asking me "if I was dropped on my head" and being rude about me having Body Dysmorphic Disorder. So really it was for the best of things because who needs someone with rude comments bringing you down. But I just couldn't believe it when I was telling him I wouldn't train his way and he said "if you want my help the you can ask to be my friend again" and just like that I was off his list. Well I never wanted to do this to anyone but I knew it was for the best I just went ahead and blocked him so I didn't have to put up with anymore rude comments.

But he was telling me that I needed to lift and that was the only way I was going to be a good runner. He told me I needed to gain this much weight in my arms, my legs and so forth. I simply told him I run for the love, joy and fun of it. I don't run to have a perfect body, and that is hard to accept being a perfectionist in all. But I have had to learn that the hard way. I have had to come to accept that I will not get the perfect body. That everything I do I will just want it to be even smaller or even better that it will never be perfect enough. I also don't run just to be in shape, that is just an added bonus of my running. All the fitness I want is just the fitness that I get from running. I don't even do cross training because I don't like to bike, swim or whatever you call it on the elliptical. I run all year long I try not to take a days off unless it is absolutely necessary I DO RUNNING SIMPLY BECAUSE I LOVE TO AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY! (I do, do about 1000-3000 crunches at night to help with my core strength and because I enjoy them.)

Now I am not saying anyway of training is wrong. Everyone is different and everyone enjoys different things. I just happen to enjoy running and nothing else. I have no problem with different styles of training, we are all unique, I just know what has always worked for me. What works for one person is necessarily what is best for the next. I have ran for over 11.5 years and just running is what has always worked for me. And is what I am going to continue to do. I admire people that do other sports or activities and enjoy them that is great, (just the other day I watched the Ironman on TV and loved watching it but have no desire to ever do one) but my passion is for running and that is what I am going to do. I am simply going to JUST RUN!!!!

Good Luck to you in your upcoming races!!!! Let me know how they go.

Half Marathon and PRs and race finishes so far this year

2009-04-06T03:34:00.000-07:00

Well I did it through all the pain I managed to run the half marathon and not only run it but set a huge PR and some more along the way. Going into the race we figured if I had a really really good race and everything went perfect I might be able to run 6:40's and if I had a bad race I wanted to break 1:30 so I needed 6:51's I put these splits on my arm figuring I would be somewhere between the two. So on my arm I had the time of 1:27 plus and 1:29:49. About Feb 15th I had set my half marathon PR in 1:30:12. Yesterday, April 5th less then 2 months and a 50k later I took 5 minutes and 20 seconds off and ran a 1:24:52 (6:28.4/mile). ( I believe missing the course record by 3 seconds that I could have got anywhere especially in the last 5k, you'll read about that later) It's weird too because I was joking with Dad that since my Bib number was 946 I was going to run 1:26, knowing I could never run that or I guess it would now be more thinking I could never run that.

MILE 1- Well I guess I am still running the first mile because I never saw the mile mark, but what I did see and get ticked off was a girl jumped onto the course with a bib right behind me about 2:15 into the race- this was all on the streets of Athens

MILE 2- not sure of individual mile but overall -12:24- we finally entered the bike path somewhere in this mile- I thought last time I ran it we entered it way way way earlier

MILE 3- 6:21-18:45-
5k- 19:22 my PR is about 19:15 shucks

MILE 4- 6:25-25:11PR- I've only ran one 4 mile race but it was 25:15 so now I have a new PR- started fitiling with my gel to get it ready for the aid station

MILE 5- 6:30- 31:42PR- started to worry losing about 5 seconds a mile- Previous best 5 miler was just under 32:00 so again a new PR- GEL had to almost stop to get water then fumbled the hand off and dropped it got lucky someone was waiting further down with some

MILE 6-6:26- 38:09- Turn around was suppose to be at 6.45 but was actually at about 6.5- noticed 2nd place was about 70 or so seconds back- knew at this point that I couldn't afford to lose 10 seconds a mile
10k-39:25- previous best 41:01

MILE 7- 6:29-44:38- was suppose to take second GEL during this mile but forgot to

MILE 8- 6:26- 51:05-

MILE 9-6:37- 57:43- realize now that I needed to take my GEL back then and just had to suck it up and take it without water.- started to panic I was now losing 10 seconds a mile my mind went to thinking this was going to come to the final 600 meter on the track and if that was the case I knew I was screwed because most people can run a 600 in the time I run a 300.
15k-59:38 major PR just not sure what the other times I have run were, they were a long time ago, when I was no where, no where, no where near the runner I am now, but the fact that before I hadn't run a 10k when I was in amazing shape in under 20:30 minutes per 5k and just did for a 15k that this was a huge PR

MILE 10- 6:35- 1:04:18 huge PR- previous best was 67:53- This is where I made my fatal course record error First I noticed I just had a huge PR but then I noticed the fact that if I ran 7:00's to the finish not caring if the girl passed me I would still hit 1:26 which is WAY faster then we had planned on so from here on out I stopped my watch but didn't check my splits MAJOR mistake

MILE 11-6:37- 1:10:55- EEkkk

MILE 12- 6:43- 1:17:38- MAJOR EEKK girl why did you not look at your watch!!!!

MILE 13 plus .109375- 7:13- 1:24:52 At this point I had no clue where I was time wise not having paying attention since mile 10 so when I turned the final corner and saw I could get under 1:25 I about died I was so esctatic AND got to do something I've never got to do at all my previous race wins. I got to break the tape :)!!!!!!!!

Oh yea I led from the start and never looked back, that's how I like it. LOL

So far my races this season:
Feb- 4 miler- 25:15 old PR (1st Female, Top 10 Overall)
Feb- half marathon- 1:30:12 old PR (1st female, 9th Overall)
March 1st- USA 50k Nationals- 3:46:30PR (3rd female, 13th overall)
April 5th- half marathon- 1:24:52 PR (1st female, 15th overall)

Next up I have a marathon where I am hoping to break 3:03. Everyone else seems to think I can break 3:00 although I am not so sure??????

After that I am looking for a possible 50k in June or July?????

Pain, training, 10k not meant to be and 20 mile fight

2009-04-04T06:17:00.000-07:00

So for awhile now I have been having pain in the left side of my body. More specifically my left hip, butt cheek, hamstring and the outside of the back of my leg. This pain has been for going on for awhile. At first I thought it was because of the way I was sitting again so I changed that, and nope not the answer. Next we thought maybe my night time crunches so I have stopped them, no clue whether that has helped or not. But through all this I have had a pretty good last 2 weeks not mileage though. Here is how it has gone:

Monday 23rd- 8 miles 4x's 1 mile (wind and hills) suppose to be at 7:00's..... mile 1-6:43 (definitely should have warmed up) mile 3- 6:14 (3:10, 3:04 previously hadn't broke about 3:50 on the 3:10 half) mile 5- 6:40 (3:19, 3:21) mile 7-6:28 (3:08, 3:20)

Tuesday 24th- easy 10 miles no watch

Wednesday 25th- 9 miles wanted to focus on hills because my race in October might be hilly set up a new course that has 6 miles up hills for most of it- mile 1- 6:46, mile 3- 6:58 (hilliest mile ever I thought there was no way I would break 8 mins) mile 6- 6:23 ( just suppose to be uptempo what ever that would be on this new course)

Thursday 26th- 10 miles just suppose to run no watch needed but I put the watch on just curious to see- 1:13:26 (7:25, 7:20 7:24, 7:28, 7:20, 7:22, 7:17, 7:24, 7:10, 7:12)

Friday 27th- blah day- 8 miles-pain

Saturday 28th and Sunday29th- one day 5 miles the other 10 miles.... too much pain to get the 20 I was going for and the 10 miler day the wind was over 40 mph and it's an out and back course (mine and Dad's day differ in memory)

Weekly total only 60 would have been 80 like planned if not for the failed attempts at 20 miles

Monday 30th- 8 miles

Tuesday 31st- 20 miles-pushed through all the pain..... maybe I'll write more about this run later

Wednesday 1st- 8 miles 2x's 2 miles- suppose to be 14:00- miles 2 and 3- 13:28 (6:28, 6:50)- miles 7 and 8- 13:28 (6:42, 6:46)

Thursday 2nd- 8 miles- breaking in racing flats since we had planned on possibly doing a 10k- miles 4-5- 6:06.26... maybe I'll write more about this mile too

Friday 3rd- 8 miles- still planning on running a 10k this weekend

So as far as the 10k that was suppose to happen well Dad accidentally messed up the weeks on the race and it was last weekend. He was hoping I would go around 40:15 because we have done no real work to prepare for a fast race and I was hoping to go under 40. It must have been a good thing to have missed it because the course must have been different then last year because the male winner was only 40:36 and the female winner 44:05. So either I would have been trying to win it alone or the time would have been nowhere near what I wanted.
Now Dad is thinking about a half-marathon for tomorrow. There are 2 of them. One in Athens and one in Dayton. The Athens one we have to sign-up today so we need to decide in the next couple hours. The Dayton one has some amazing runners at it but we can sign-up tomorrow. He was also thinking of doing a 5k next week but there is only a 5k in Dayton and a 4-miler near Columbus on Saturday and there is nothing on Sunday. And the following week is too close to the possible race.

Now about the 20 miler we tried to do a 20 miler last Saturday but I was in pain and we had to stop at 10 miles and we also stopped because the wind was at over 40 mph and it is an out and back course. So we said we'd try again Sunday. Well Sunday came and I was in some major pain, we decided to call it quits at 5 miles and try to come back on Tuesday. (Dad has it being the opposite days) Well Tuesday came and I started out and for 2.25 miles it felt like someone was pinching my butt cheek and holding it. But then it let up a little so I went on. Then the pain also went down into my hamstring. But I pushed on determined and thinking it might get better. At the turn around I was still in pain but I pushed on , then at the 13 mile mark Dad would give me (what I didn't know at the time) the last chance to stop early. But I knew that this was do or die, if I wanted to run my race then I needed to push on and I said if stopping now meant no race coming up in a few weeks then I'm going on. Well to get to the 15 mile mark there is a big hill, apparently after I made it up that hill there was no stopping allowed. I ran out of Powerade Zero so we had to use a hot Coke Zero that was in the car. Well with about 2.25 miles to go Dad was waiting and I told him I had just had the worse pain I had, had thinking he would just have me stop at mile 18 and call it close enough. Well Dad had his Coach hat on and not his Dad hat on and pointed .25 miles down the road and said from there on in it's all downhill and made me go on. I eekked out the 20 miles and when I got home the whole night I was in pain. But then somehow the next morning I had pain in a completely different location. I had pain right below the knob on your lower back/upper butt. When I went to run all the other pain was no where near as strong as it had been but I did have this new pain. But maybe pushing through the 20 miler in the pain made some of the pain go away. Weird but seems true.

So here I am with no clue as to what is going on with my training as of what could happen tomorrow, next week, or in a few weeks.** Updated below

Oh and the coolest thing happened to me because of my performance at the USA 50k Nationals and finishing 3rd and with my marathon split I have earned a free entry into a race. Now whether or not I am going to use it, only time will tell with this pain and race plan.

Good Luck to all my friends running races this week. I can't name you all because I will undoubtedly forget someone there are so many people. But the ones I know from the 50k are Jill, Dave, Tony and Emmy at Umstead 100. And Kami and Annette at American River 50. But there are so many more fabulous runners racing this weekend I wish you all the best of luck. Remember you are strong and you can do it. You are going to rock it and I can't wait to hear about it. Unfortunately I was hoping to have been able to do the Chicago Lakefront 50k this weekend but some things just don't work out the way you want them.Remember to "Catch a dream and RUN with it."

** Updated as of typing this Dad has decided we are going to be doing a half marathon as long as my run today goes ok.

2:14 trail continued

2009-03-19T02:58:00.000-07:00

So just as I was about to give up and go run my normal courses mom showed up. So I drove to the park. The loop is suppose to be 5 miles.... hardly... then there is a grass/trails/hill loop that is suppose to be a half mile.... hardly. Well I started off across the dam at Hargus Lake. The dam is a little more then .25 miles and I added the grass/trail/hill loop that is suppose to be .5 miles it was definitely less. So I was close to about .75 miles before actually entering the woods. Well I got into the woods and didn't last for 2 minutes and 14 seconds before rolling/twisting my ankle and kept going this is nothing new for me, I do it on concrete. ( I didn't feel the pain up the chin at first but did later). Well I continued on up and down all the hills, and they are steep and big, at least to me. The only trouble I had was at one of the little creek crossings there was about 7 rockes to jump on, well no big deal I though I just did some earlier. Well this was different, the rock were stacked on top of rocks and the new rocks were wobbily and spread apart for a tall person. Well I stopped my watch and extended out to the first rock and got my legs wobbily I reached for the second that was spinning all over the place. I was very uncomfortable. After what felt like a minutes I was able to put my hands down on the thrid rock, whch was wobbily and sneak both feet on to the second rock and then I stood up. And I tried to reach out for the third rock but it was just too wobbily and far out there. So I stopped and thought. I turned and looked around me I noticed there was a spot that I could long jump to (I did that my freshmen year) from there I could long jump to another spot and from there long jump to the course. So I turned around shaking and barely making it to the course went and tried it. No problem!!! So I went aroud to the approxmaite 4 mile spot but instead of turning around like I normally would I continued straight around on the "5 mile course." I arrived at what they call would be the 5.5 mile mark in under 38 minutes so I knew something was wrong. Here I was on trails and hills and grass running faster then sometime on the roads. Hmmmm.... So I knew this was definitely not true so good thing I could go by my watch and approximate it. So I got around and went out for loop two. No trouble on loop two but saw people I passed on loop one and I heard the one lady goes she is lapping us...lol. I knew I was going a good pace but have no clue what that pace was. Next week I need to get out there and mark that course off.

But anyways I made it. My first "trails" run in forever. It was a hilly 6 plus miles on the trails and an additional 4 miles on the grass/trails. So I survived and only rolled my ankle once.

Well Gotta go time to leave to sub..... 8th grade english....... ekkkkkkk!!! Lord Please Help Me!!

Possible Trail Run

2009-03-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

My anxiety is really high right now so I am going to try to clam down by writing this. So anyways I know a lot of ultras are on trails and I don't really have any trails around here to run, except there is a little park down the way that has what they call a 5 mile loop it's more 4.5 and well about 3 miles of it are on trails in the woods. One lane trail with about 5 big hills. So I think today I am going to go out and run the loop twice at the park and add this other half mile loop to it as well, to get a total of 10 miles. This will give me about 6 miles on trails and all the rest is on grass, so an easy pounding day for the legs but brutal on the big hills. I wonder how this will go I don't have trail shoes yet but this aren't too technical of trails. But then again I twist my ankle and fall on concrete so how many minutes will I get in before I fall???? So right now I would be part way into my run and I think that's why I am anxious because I want to be out there now. But mom took the car so I've got to wait until she gets back. Hmmmm will I be able to wait until she gets home to practice on trails or will I end up going out and running my normal courses????????? Well lets see what happen......................................................

Updated April/May decisions?? 5ok????

2009-03-15T05:30:00.000-07:00

So with having a slow recovery and getting a slight injury or just major pain or something plans have changed and some have been updated. The most I want to run is a 50k I think I really want to run a 50k but will settle for a marathon. So here is what I am looking at I need more 50k options.

50k's
I think this one is too soon.... after loosing 2 weeks to recovery/injury/ but I've heard good thing about it.....hmmmmmm
1. Saturday April 4th 2009- Chicago Lakefront 50k http://www.chicagoultra.org/race%20info/spring.htm Course record 3:48:08 ....Results- last year-4:15:08, 2007-3:51:48, 2006- course record 2005-4:14:05, 2004- 3:54:04, 2003-4:28:43, 2002-3:55:24, 2001-4:34:25, 2000- 4:05:49..... Awards- * Trophies to overall top finishers, both male and female. Winners receive their trophies as they finish* An attractive medal to all 50k finishers * T-shirts to all paid participants There will be seven age groups: under 30; 30-39; 40-49; 50-59; 60-69; 70-79; 80 and over. Only the first overall winners receive a trophy. ......... Cost-$40-50....... Course- Consists of 3 out-and-back segments. The race follows the Lakefront running path. Mostly gravel with some asphalt sections. One of the flattest 50k’s in North America....... Positives- course, Could get an ultra win, it's a 50k, cost....Negatives- cost overall it's out of state, sooner then previously planned

2. This one is kinda far away and has a 50k a 50 miler and a 100k. I am not sure if you are allowed to change events or what but i don't think I would anyways.
Sunday April 26, 2009-The 35th Jack Bristol/Lake Waramaug Ultras- http://www.roadntracksports.com/LWUM/index.html .......Awards- nothing mentioned ..... Cost $45-55 ...Course- The course is slightly rolling loops around scenic Lake Waramaug. There is a 2.2 mile out and back at the beginning of the race for all runners. The 50K runners will then do three 7.6 mile laps around the lake followed by a 1.9 mile out and back to the finish at the State Park. The 50 mile runners will complete six laps around the lake and finish at the State Park. The 100K runners will do seven laps around the lake followed by a 2.3 mile out and back to finish at the State Park...... Positives- word of mouth, loop course, 50k....... Negatives- cost to get there, no awards???

3. Need more 50k options??????

Marathons
Narrowed it down to 2 of them. Toledo might be too soon depends on how the hip does the next couple of days.
1. April 26, 2009- Toledo Glass City Marathon- http://www.glasscitymarathon.org/site/page1.aspx -Results- Last Year Winner- 3:16:09 (bad weather), 2007 winner- 3:04:38, 2006 winner-3:09:59, 2005 winner-2:56:08 (2nd place 3:14:05), 2004 winner-3:24:52..... awards-1st Place $500; 2nd Place $200; 3rd Place $100; 4th Place $100; 5th Place $50. Plus each will receive a custom embroidered jacket.... Cost $60-70.... Positives- In Ohio, fairly cheap, chance for money.... Negatives- not sure of course, only a marathon, earlier hen originally planned

2. Sunday May 17, 2009- Cleveland Marathon- http://www.clevelandmarathon.com/Home/ Results- last year 3:07:27 (2nd place 3:09:26, 3rd 3:09:28), 2007- 1st 2:48:41 (2nd- 3:03:43, 3rd 3:05:05), 2006- 1st 2:50:24 (2nd- 2:51:32, 3rd-3:03:52), 2005- 1st 2:54:53 (2nd-2:59:43, 3rd-3:03:54), 2004- 1st-02:53:28 (2nd-2:57:31, 3rd-3:00:01), 2003- 1st 2:48:46 (2nd-3:00:31, 3rd-3:01:58), 2002 1st2:37:43 (2nd-2:46:22, 3rd 2:46:40)....... Awards $1,000, $500, $300, $200, $100 ...... Cost $75-95.... Course- fairly flat a hill or two...... Positives- In Ohio, good timing, Chance to be in top 5 with a great race ......Negatives- Word of mouth, Besides last year no chance to win, only marathon

and deep down in my heart I still really want to do
Sunday April 26, 2009- BPAC 6 hour distance Classic- http://www.wny-ultra.org/bpac/index.htm http://www.wny-ultra.org/ Results- last year- 35.75 miles, 2007- 41.71, 2006-43.4, 2005-35.4, 2004- 36.29, 2003- 31.86, 2002-34.88, 2001-42.35..... Awards- • Finisher race mugs for all completing at least 8 laps (26 miles). • Awards for overall men and women, awards in Open, Masters and Veteran category for men and women. • All competitors with at least 10 laps will be listed in Ultrarunning Magazine. • Results and certificates will be mailed to all finishers and will be posted on the web.......Cost $20-25...... Course-3.25 mile certified scenic loop, P-shaped, paved, traffic free..... Positives- course loop, ultra, cost, chance to win..... Negatives- cost of going back to NY, not sure if hills on course, can i last 6 hours

Next Race Update

2009-03-12T07:43:00.000-07:00

Need a race to follow up my first ultra performance..... what to decided by this weekend so I can start training properly.... any ideas or suggestions????? this is what we've narrowed it down to.........

1. April 26, 2009- Toledo Glass City Marathon- http://www.glasscitymarathon.org/site/page1.aspx -Results- Last Year Winner- 3:16:09 (bad weather), 2007 winner- 3:04:38, 2006 winner-3:09:59, 2005 winner-2:56:08 (2nd place 3:14:05), 2004 winner-3:24:52..... awards-1st Place $500; 2nd Place $200; 3rd Place $100; 4th Place $100; 5th Place $50. Plus each will receive a custom embroidered jacket.... Cost $60-70.... Positives- In Ohio, fairly cheap, chance for money.... Negatives- not sure of course, only a marathon, earlier hen originally planned

2. May 3rd, 2009- Pittsburgh Marathon- http://www.pittsburghmarathon.com/Home_6774.htm Results Know they didn't have the race last year but I can't find previous results on it either- ..... awards- 1st- $4,000 2nd - $2,500 3rd - $1,500 4th - $1,000 5th - $500........ Cost $95-100...... Course- hilly ..... Positives- word of mouth from others.... Negatives- hills, to be elite you have to have ran under 2:48, different state so total cost, just brought back, only marathon, revious results??

3. Sunday May 17, 2009- Cleveland Marathon- http://www.clevelandmarathon.com/Home/ Results- last year 3:07:27 (2nd place 3:09:26, 3rd 3:09:28), 2007- 1st 2:48:41 (2nd- 3:03:43, 3rd 3:05:05), 2006- 1st 2:50:24 (2nd- 2:51:32, 3rd-3:03:52), 2005- 1st 2:54:53 (2nd-2:59:43, 3rd-3:03:54), 2004- 1st-02:53:28 (2nd-2:57:31, 3rd-3:00:01), 2003- 1st 2:48:46 (2nd-3:00:31, 3rd-3:01:58), 2002 1st2:37:43 (2nd-2:46:22, 3rd 2:46:40)....... Awards $1,000, $500, $300, $200, $100 ...... Cost $75-95.... Course- fairly flat a hill or two...... Positives- In Ohio, good timing, Chance to be in top 5 with a great race ......Negatives- Word of mouth, Besides last year no chance to win, only marathon

4. Saturday April 4th 2009- Chicago Lakefront 50k http://www.chicagoultra.org/race%20info/spring.htm Course record 3:48:08 ....Results- last year-4:15:08, 2007-3:51:48, 2006- course record 2005-4:14:05, 2004- 3:54:04, 2003-4:28:43, 2002-3:55:24, 2001-4:34:25, 2000- 4:05:49..... Awards- * Trophies to overall top finishers, both male and female. Winners receive their trophies as they finish* An attractive medal to all 50k finishers * T-shirts to all paid participants There will be seven age groups: under 30; 30-39; 40-49; 50-59; 60-69; 70-79; 80 and over. Only the first overall winners receive a trophy. ......... Cost-$40-50....... Course- Consists of 3 out-and-back segments. The race follows the Lakefront running path. Mostly gravel with some asphalt sections. One of the flattest 50k’s in North America....... Positives- course, Could get an ultra win, it's a 50k, cost....Negatives- cost overall it's out of state, sooner then previously planned

5. Saturday May 2nd 2009- Strolling Jim 40 mile run- http://www.tynesweb.com/sj40/index.html Results- last year 6:40:12, 2007-5:47:18, 2006-6:48:14, 2005-5:35:52, 2004-6:00:30, 2003-6:02:13, 2002-5:44:24, 2001-5:43:47, 2000-5:40:14, 1999-6:00:45, 1998-5:32:07...... Awards Awards: Shirt to all runners, Gold Shirt Sub 5 hours... Cost $35..... Course- Gently Rolling with 4 small, easy hills. Very Scenic!! Soft base Blacktop. Technically, a road, but soft as a trail....... Positives- cost, distance, chance to win, .......Negatives-cost to Tennessee, hills look bigger then they admit

6. Sunday April 26, 2009- BPAC 6 hour distance Classic- http://www.wny-ultra.org/bpac/index.htm http://www.wny-ultra.org/ Results- last year- 35.75 miles, 2007- 41.71, 2006-43.4, 2005-35.4, 2004- 36.29, 2003- 31.86, 2002-34.88, 2001-42.35..... Awards- • Finisher race mugs for all completing at least 8 laps (26 miles). • Awards for overall men and women, awards in Open, Masters and Veteran category for men and women. • All competitors with at least 10 laps will be listed in Ultrarunning Magazine. • Results and certificates will be mailed to all finishers and will be posted on the web.......Cost $20-25...... Course-3.25 mile certified scenic loop, P-shaped, paved, traffic free..... Positives- course loop, ultra, cost, chance to win..... Negatives- cost of going back to NY, not sure if hills on course, can i last 6 hours

USA 50k National Championships Write-Up

2009-03-11T03:09:00.000-07:00

This is something I posted on face book awhile ago about the race..

Well here are just a few things about the race I'll probably have more later.
Well before the race on Facebook I had talked to Kami Semick and she had just planned to run in the 3:40's and said we'll probably be running together. So having no idea what she looked like I thought she was one of the ladies behind me running right on 3:40 pace I was going a little faster at the beginning. So imagine my surprise when one lady took off super fast at the beginning of the race but I was confused because she she had a bib on the back that said she was an open female division which according to the usatf website Kari is in an age group. (But then again they messed up with me and think that I am 35 years old, not sure how to get that fixed.) So I had no clue who it was I thought maybe Anne Lundbald (sp?) because I wasn't sure how old she was. But it never crossed my mind that it was Kari out there. But anyways I was running in second all alone except for some guy tat was about 25-50 meters ahead of me and I noticed with him that we were hitting almost the same splits (that is for the time i could do splits my hands froze up part way through and I couldn't hit the button) but for the first mile we were running 6:51 and the second mile which was against the wind 6:54 and running the 2.35 loop in 16:20's consistently. Well something got to me on one loop and I pressed the pace and caught up to the guy but when I tried to pass him he sprinted past me. So I hit the mile mark around maybe 6:41 and then he started coming back again and just as I was catching him We passed Nick Jakovic who I yelled for and he yelled keep it up Amanda, and the guy looked over at me and said "Amanda" and I looked at him and I went by and that was the last I saw of him.
So now I was completely on my own there was no one on the same lap as me anywhere in front of me. I had no one to pace off. And it showed. I majorly slowed down by almost 2 minutes a lap. But at the half way point I was on track to run around a 3:35 (thanks to Ray K for telling me that). I never got back on track. With about 5 miles to go some one, Jill Perry (who is like one of thee nicest people) passed me so now I had just over 2 laps to go and was in 3rd place. I couldn't pick it up I was stuck. Then the last lap dad told me I had to go or had a shot at getting caught. Well I went and it went fairly well until the 400 meters I happened to pass Ray K again and asked him to do me a huge favor we were just about to the long hill before the finish and I asked him to turn around and see if he could see anyone coming because I knew I was done if someone was and he gratefully turned around and told me no one was coming for over 1:30 back. He tried to run with me to help me finish. I was horrible I was on track to get in the 17's for the last lap then got to the last hill which is about .1 miles from the finish and I could not get up it. I seriously thought I was going to have to walk it and I never walk. It took me over 2 minute to get up the hill to the finish. Then I got to the finish and for the first time in my life I was spent. The guy giving me the Caumsett Medal had to grab a hold of me and drop all his medals and another guy got on the other side of me. I could not see straight. Everything was a fog, I couldn't think. I was so lucky to have those 2 guys then Jill, who I didn't know at the time came up to help me too. She was trying to get me to drink some sup but I couldn't. I was so dehydrated or had such an imbalance in my body that I couldn't eat. But she did help me get 2 cups of Gatorade. Then they wanted to get me inside the building and at this point all I wanted was to be with my dad. Also Ray K came over to check at me at this time, that was nice. I had him and Nick cheering for me every lap, that was really nice.
Well we finally made our way over to the building to get out of the cold. And just as I got in there he said let's try the women again and in second place from New York Jill Perry. Then in 3rd place Amanda Stickel from Ohio and I went up and got my USA National Championship Medal and my Championship Patch and my money/check. And they took a picture with me and the guy. I wish they had a podium and took a picture of the top 3 together that would have been neat. Somewhere in this time I met Annette Bednosky, she was really nice and told me about a 50k she is holding in October in Virginia. I also got to meet Kami Semick. I think I got a picture with all 3 of those ladies individually the top 4 and I also got a picture with Nick but I think that's all the pictures we took I think. We weren't even ready to go and they were like ok were are going if you want a ride to the parking lot get on the truck and first the guy almost hit both me and my dad. But I wish we could have stayed and finished watching some of the race but we also had a 11-12 hour trip ahead of us and a snow storm to try to beat. We beat it all the way up until Pennsylvania and we had some in Ohio too. But the race area got almost about 10 inches so we were lucky to get out of there. I just wish I could have cheered on other more. I also got to meet Michael Wardian too he was at the same table as us but I was afraid to ask him for a picture. He ran around 2:56. Last year he ran 2:55 for a course record this year it was a new course and they said that the winner would get the course record bonus so he should have gotten the $500. I guarantee had he know they weren't going to do that he could have gone a minute faster. The female winner Kami Semick went unofficially around 3:29 which is a course and I believe a National Championship record. Jill Perry, Me and Annette Bednosky went 2nd, 3rd, and 4th respectfully in unofficial times of 3:41, 3:46, and 3:47. Annette had a PR of 4 minutes her goal was to break 3:50 and she got it. Weather condition were not the greatest around at most a temperature of 30 degrees and a windchill of at most 19 and a steady wind of about 15-20 mph with some not much snow flurries. Oh yea I guess you could say mine was a PR too since I've never ran a 50k and I would have been around 3:06:37 for the marathon which would have been a PR too. hmmmmmm im sure there is more but i'll think about it..... but that enough for now.

Soe additional comments-
* Everybody calls the course flat or says it has just 2-3 hills. We'll if you count the hill at the start that means there are 27-40 hills in the race. I would definitely call that hilly. Espicially when It took me 2 minutes to get up the last .1 mile uphill to the finish. It was horrible I felt bad for my dad who had came over to watch me and help me. To watch me run up that last hill was torture. I probably could have been faster had I stopped and walked it, but heck no I'm not doing that.
*One of the later loops I twisted my ankle on even pavement. So now you know why I am afraid to run trails, also because I don't want to have a slower time which is inevitable. And the fact that there are major hills more like mountains on trails. And the stream crossings bother me. I don't have trails near me to practice on.
*That guy was Steve Hawthorne from Ohio
*Kami Semick, Jill Perry, Annette Bednosky, Nick Jakovic, and Ray K and Tony P are the greatest people ever!!!! It was a pleasure to meet 5 of you and to get all the information from Tony the day before the race major save to us.

May, October.... decisions, decisions

2009-03-11T02:57:00.000-07:00

This is an old post from Facebook but I thought I would bring it here too.

So here I am exactly a week out of my 3rd place showing at the USA 50k National Championships. I think it is funny though, you can tell no one knew me at all because, I have been listed at 3 different ages with 3 different hometowns. In case you are wondering I am 26 and from Stoutsville, Ohio. Well I've already reported on that race. Still know there is a lot to learn and I could improve my race in a lot of ways.

Now the first decision, picking my next race. At first dad thought the Athens Marathon one because it's on an out and back course and I like them and it's mostly flat and it's low key but that is about a month after my 50k and I've lost this first week of training by just getting slow recovery miles. So that means I would have about 3 weeks to train and not really 3 weeks because of tapering and not fully being recovered yet. So we decided not on that one. Now the new one dad has came up with is the Cleveland Marathon. Last year it was super slow and there is money offered so you know this year there will be a lot of people running it. If I run it I would be hoping for a time of around 3:01 running the very best race I could run ( I almost feel I shouldn't say this because last time I predicted what I wanted to run people thought I was nuts to say I wanted to be in the 3:40's for the 50k and thought I was cocky or something and for some reason dislike me.Even though I knew I could run that.) I don't know if I can run a 3:01 that will be pretty tough of a standard but I ran 3:06:40ish for the marathon in the 50k. However with all this I am not sure I want to run this race I am trying to find a good 50k around the same timing and not to far away I don't have a lot of money, but yet I am still willing to travel but just don't think I cold go somewhere like to Fla??????????? Any suggestions????

My next decision picking my race for October. There is a 50k that Annette B told me about she is the race director. It's in Virginia and is on a "flat" dirt path. With not having trails near me and a lot of ultras being on trails this could be a transition to trails for me even though it's not really technical trails. And this could be an opportunity with 4.5 months of training after my next race to try to improve upon my first 50k and get a better time. However I thought I was going to do nationals and then step up in distance so the other race I am looking at is a 50 miler in PA. It's a pretty big race. But allows me to step up in the distance in the ultra world.

So as you can see I have a lot of decisions to make and need to make one FAST. Any help or input would be nice. Thanks Amanda Hope you are having a good week and your training is going well and good luck with your upcoming races.

Things brought over from facebook
*Some people seem not to like the Cleveland Marathon
*I am only up for a 50k or Marathon in May and I can't afford to travel that far
*October will either be a 50k or a 50 miler

First pain free run

2009-03-11T02:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Tuesday was the first pain free run I have had since finishing 3rd in 3:46:30 at the USA National Championship 50k race March 1st in New York. I had been having trouble with my legs and then the pain seemed ok but then I got some other pains later in the week in my legs so I don't think it was race related but am not sure and also I got dehyrdated 2 days in a row pretty bad. So since my race I had done SU(raceday)-31.5 M-3 T-3 W-5 TH-7 F-8 S-10 S-10 M-7 bad pain T-10. But evey day it's been slow slow slow mileage, so slow I would not even want to see what the watch said. In fact today or tomorrow whenever I start back to really running/training I am afraid so see what the watch says. But I feel like such a whimp because everyone else seems to be back to normal training. I know Jill Perry got in about 110 miles last week. And had one run of 22 miles. Other people I have seen are back do workouts and such. I am not sure what took me so long to get back to normal training but let's just hope it's for real. Now I have the race decision to make I'll post my old blog titled May. October, ... decisions, decisions. So you can rad about that dilemma.

Side note if was officially announced yesterday that Annette Bednosky (4th USA 50k Champs 3:47:59) qulaified for the WC 24 hour Championship race in Italy. I wish her all the luck in the world. I know she is going to go over and kick some butt and show them how it's done!! She is an amazing person and runner. Go get them Annette, show them what you are capable of!!!

Runner Survey from Facebook

2009-03-10T15:58:00.000-07:00

I thought this might be a good first blog post for people to get to know a little bit about me.

If you'd like, copy and paste these questions into your notes, change the answers, add a question and tag your friends to do the same.

1. Number of marathons you have run
3 Marathons and 2 Ultramarathons

2. Where was your first marathon?
Detroit Marathon

3. Favorite Marathon course:
Well lets see I had a fever of over 102 at Boston... and a mental breakdown at NAIA Nationals... So I'd have to go with Detroit

4. Most memorable race:
2009 USA 50k Nationals

5. PRs?
5k- 19:15-2000
4miler- 25:15-2009
5 miler - 31:5?-2000
10k-41:01-2008
10 miler- 67:53-2005
1/2 marathon- 1:30:12-2009
Marathon- 3:06:37 (approx during 50k)-2009
50k- 3:46:30-2009
45 miler 6:32- didn't train for it...lol-2006
50 mile- i hope someday soon
100k- i hope someday soon
100 mile- i REALLY hope someday soon
24 hour- i hope someday

6. Ever run in a costume?
No

7. The only running shoes for me:
Used to be Asics Gel-Landerth now is Adidas SuperNova Cushion

8. Ever injured?
Maybe depends on your definition of injured

9. Hot or cold weather runner?
definitely HOT

10. Morning or evening runs?
Afternoon

11. What is your motivation?
Love of running

12. Ever DNF?
Once. When I was in high school I had knee problem and it was my first race back and I just couldn't do it. I cried more because my dad pulled me then the fact that my knee hurt.

13. Race I'd like to forget:
Too many... but mainly the last .1 mile at Nationals

14. Favorite post race nosh:
Diet Pop

15. Galloway or Higdon?
William Stickel

16. Flat course or hills:
hills if it's all down hill..... extremely flat

17. Back, Middle, or Front of the pack?
I hope the front!!

18. Run alone or with a partner:
Always Alone

19. Ever win your age group?
Yep

20. One part of your body that has never seen Body Glide:
Calves

21. Best part of running:
All of it.... but lately was meeting some of the greatest people at Nationals

22. If I didn't run I_______________.
would be fatter, I'd be in a wheelchair (knock on wood)

23. I can't run without______________________.
my watch even if I am not using it

23. Ever lose a toenail?
not yet

24. Gatorade or Cytomax?
Powerade Zero

25. Favorite gel flavor?
Powergel Strawberry Banana or Vanilla

26. How many days after a marathon do you usually start running again?
Next day

27. I run, therefore I ________________________.
run some more

28. Pre-race routines? (night before or morning of)
Superstitious things

29. What is your typical night before the big race meal?
Turkey Sandwich- one of the only times you'll get meat in me

30. Would you run a marathon again?
Yea I might be in May

31. If you could run with anyone, who would that person be?
My dad again, but that will never happen..... so then how about the 5 awesome people I met at Nationals, Kami Semick, Jill Perry, Annette Bednosky, Nick Jakovic, and Ray K