Wednesday, June 12, 2013

My Absence and Return to Running

I guess I should explain why I have been missing from the World for a few months.  It all started 4 or 5 months ago.  My depression got out of control and I couldn't get myself out of bed, not even to run.  After awhile of this I made a trip to see my doctor in Virginia and we knew we had to make some kind of change.  So she added a new medication and reduced one I was taking. I hate change but I knew we had to try something.  However, this time change proved to be wrong way to go.  My depression only got worse and everything fell apart.  I stopped running and stopped caring. I wouldn't leave my house expect for therapy appointments. I gained 24 lbs, which made the depression and self-hate that much stronger. Things were beyond a turn around point. I was on the edge of a cliff, teetering with one foot and the wind was blowing and I was waiting for a gust to take me down.  I didn't care how bad things were and to make it worse I didn't care that I didn't care.  My therapist was tracking this spiral out of control and after so long told me she wanted me to contact my doctor about it.  I had no intention of doing so because I didn't care how awful things were. So the next week she got a hold of my doctor and my doctor phoned me about what was going on.  She decided to tapper me off the new medication and up the one we cut back up to the normal amount.  Things didn't turn around right away but eventually and slowly I could feel the horrible burden and darkness sounding me lift up a bit.

 I started running again on May 8th.  And have been running since then on a steady basis.  (Will post a log later down the post.)  I want to get back into racing again but I want to be able to race a 5k in the 22 before I race again and things aren't coming so fast this time.  What used to be an easy 8 min mile pace has now become a hard 10 min mile pace.  Once I get some speed back I want to get back into ultras again, too.  I already know the ultra I am most looking forward to doing but it is held around October and I know I won't be ready for an ultra in October of this year.  I am just taking things on a day by day basis because I never know when the depression will become so bad again that I can't leave the house to run.

Wed 5/8-  2 miles
Thurs 5/9- 2.5 miles
Fri 5/10- 2 miles
Sat 5/11- 3 miles
Sun 5/12- 3 miles

Mon 5/13- 3 miles
Tues 5/14- 3 miles
Wed 5/15- 3 miles
Thurs 5/16- 4 miles
Fri 5/17- 4 miles
Sat 5/18- 4 miles
Sun- 5/19- 4 miles

Mon 5/20- 5 miles
Tues 5/21- 5 miles
Wed 5/22- 5 miles
Thurs 5/23- 5 miles
Fri 5/24- 6 miles
Sat 5/25- 6 miles
Sun- 5/26- 6 miles

Mon 5/27- 6 miles
Tues 5/28- 7 miles
Wed 5/29- 7 miles
Thurs 5/30- 7 miles
Fri 5/31- 7 miles
Sat 6/1- 8 miles
Sun- 6/2- 8 miles

Mon 6/3- 8 miles
Tues 6/4- 8 miles
Wed 6/5- 8 miles(dead legs, kept fighting because I knew 0 was soon)
Thurs 6/6- 8 miles(dead legs kept fighting because I knew 0 was soon)
Fri 6/7- 1 miles (couldn't fight anymore, Dad drove with me to get the 31 straight days of running)
Sat 6/8- 0 miles (had no way to run)
Sun- 6/9- 8 miles

Mon 6/10- 9 miles
Tues 6/11- 9 miles

Hoping to keep this up but I guess that is a day by day thing I will have to fight through.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

First Timed Run in Over 3 Years

Not counting 5k races, I haven't had the confidence to time any run in over 3 years. When I went to the park I was just suppose to get whatever I could in, mileage wise (like everyday).  I am not sure why I choose Saturday's run to decide to time. I didn't tell anyone I was going to do this, heck, I didn't even know I was going to do it until I did. Why Saturday, when I am coming off my best week so far (4 days of 8 miles and 1 of 9 miles). I guess because we were going to the park where I always tend to run faster (It's my 2 favorite types of runs, bike-path and out-and-back). Maybe because the weather was 60 degrees in January. I don't think I will ever know what made me decide to time it. But I did. I was hoping to do 8 miles, so the plan was to hide the watch and just hit the mile splits and look at it when I finished and hope that it was around 8:00 pace overall.  But that planned had failed by the first half mile (which is short, different starting point).(I'll post the splits below) Then when I saw what I had ran for the second half mile and for the next couple of half miles I started to try to convince myself that I could only go 7 miles at this pace.  But then I was able to compromise with myself that when I got slower then 8:20-8:30 pace I would just shut the watch off and be happy with what I did before that point. So my splits were-

1st mile-  3:16 (short) then 3:37 (add say 20 seconds, 7:13)
2nd mile- 7:03
3rd mile- 7:09
4th mile- 7:08
5th mile- 7:14 (messed up watch and stopped running but didn't stop the watch, it was my first time timing with this watch)
6th mile- 7:08 (hit the wall, first mile that I felt was hard)
7th mile- 7:11
8th mile- 7:17
Total time 57:09 (add 20 seconds) 57:29

LOL- I had a biker go by me and said look at that cadence. I kind of laughed because I don't even call it a stride, I call it my shuffle.
-This was the best day I have had in over 3 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!