1. "All things are possible until they are proved impossible-and even the impossible may only be so as of now."-I fell in love with this quote I think it can give hope to everyone no matter what you situation is, whether you are battling an ED or with you running goals. With your running it could be something like an injury, lack of motivation, just getting back into shape after taking some racing time off or just not quite being where you want to be, you can start to think in your mind that you will not get there that it is just not possible. Which could be true if you want to race in a week you might not be where you want to be but that doesn't mean given more time and training you won't get to where you want to be. If you are after winning a race but you know someone better is coming and you know you can't beat them that means maybe this year it's not possible but that doesn't mean next year it's not possible. Or the year after. It doesn't mean because you can't do it one year that you won't be able to do it another year or even maybe a different race. And if it's and ED and you think it is impossible to recover, maybe it is just right now because you are not willing to let it go completely, but that doesn't mean you can't make up the next day and have a new outlook and things change completely and before you know it you no longer say you have an ED but are recovered from and ED.
2. "Friendship : Our greatest joy and our greatest sorrow . For without our most cherished friends our world is so often filled with sad tomorrows."
-I will say friendship has brought me some of my greatest joy and some of the most sorrow I have felt too. Having friends like Laura that send you amazing creations she makes herself or a little bible verse to help you bring me so much joy. It brings me joy because I love and treasure these things but also because I know the love and joy she puts into making them. Such as recently the scarf she sent me for Christmas. I wear it everyday to work, I love it. Ten you have someone like Annette who is an accomplished ultra runner send me a Christmas package of running stuff to help make my Christmas brought me so much joy to know that someone else cared. And when I first got out of treatment Amy brought me joy in a monetary way to help me be able to help my parents pay the bills. Giving me the joy of being able to help out my family. And having the joy that she knew that I was in desperate need and she provided for me simply because she loved me and she felt God told her to help me. Then the joy of making a friend I didn't know all to well while I was in treatment but becoming amazing friends through facebook with her. Kim brings me joy by just now being my friend when we are living a country apart. Then I have other friends that I show so much caring and compassion for but they don't return it. I leave them messages all the time or comment on their statuses whether it be a good one or bad one, and always ask what is going on but they choose not to share with me but rather their other friends instead, really brings me sorrow because I care for these people like they are some of my closest friends but it seems as if it is merely a one way friendship. Like I am the only one commenting on their statuses and they don't comment on mine good or bad. They don't reply to my messages promptly just whenever they feel like it. It is like I care what is going on in their life and they won't share, and I share about mine and they don't care. It brings me extreme sorrow. It is painful to feel this part of friendship. Or even more painful they don't reply period. Or they have betrayed you and talked behind your back to someone and got you hurt and in trouble then became best friends with that person and left you out in the cold.
3. "A person without any friends is like a tree without its roots."
-I often feel like I am a person without friends and I agree that it is like a tree without roots for the fact that a tree without roots can no longer exist, neither does your heart. You feel lonely, isolated, and like no one cares, like there is no one to turn to when you need to talk to someone. Maybe I feel this way because I have no friends in the state that I live in. The people that are my closest friends are friends that I have met at Remuda and still write hand letters to or friends from facebook that I message and as you know they are not always there. So at times I feel like I have no one to share something with whether it be good news or bad. I feel alone and question whether my friends are really my friends or do they just feel obligated to write back and do it as they please to and not when they have time just whenever they feel like getting back to you, even if it is something important. So not having anyone to call or visit I often feel like I don't have friends and it is true like a tree without roots you don't feel like you exist.
4. "I will always be able to get through the dark times in life, as long as my friends are waiting for me in the light."
-I might be having a rough time but writing a letter to Laura, Amy G and Joy (just to name a few) or sharing a message with Kim or a runner friend. Knowing they will "listen" and are there to support me and help me through the rough times. When all I see is the darkness knowing they are there waiting to say something to me to help turn things around helps me to get through. I might have to wait to get a reply but knowing they are there waiting keeps me going and pushing through the rough time until they get back to me with their encouragement and kindness and most of all their LOVE. That keeps me going through rough time and brings me some joy to turn things around.
5. "A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."
-I pray for my friends everyday sometimes, it's directly by name or sometimes to the group they belong to, like my friends that are runners, or are facing ED. I always hope these prayers find these people and help make them strong and get them through whatever they are going through at the moment. I recently had a few good days and one of my friends Ashley R. said her prayers had been answered. To know she was praying for me and that could have been why I had 3.5 amazing days was powerful. I try to bless my friends with love by telling them I love them and showing them I love them with messages or letters or such, I am not able to give presents to my friends as I am in an extremely poor financial situation. But I try to show my love in other ways by letting them know I care about them. I have had friends that have blessed me with their love monetarily or with posession and that is amazing they can and are willing to do that. I feel their love and the way they show it. However they choose to show it. I am really good at encouraging others. I am not good at encouraging myself but can do this and always do this for others no matter what the encouragement is over. My friends are always there to encourage me to have a great and fun race or to be strong when I am struggling. Encouragement is a powerful thing we should all do for each other. I hate the opposite. I hate when other bring each other down and discourage them no matter how big or hard their goal may seem.
6. When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.- Helen Keller-I admit I am extremely guilty of this. If something happens that makes me happy then it gets taken away I spend too much time dwelling in the past and the what might have been. Instead of opening my eyes to see there could be happiness somewhere else out there for me. Such as my time in Idaho I was so happy out there and had planned on going back out there to try to make a new life for myself but after a falling out with my ex-coach this happiness and joy to life got taken away from me and I spent and still am guilty of it thinking about it and what I could have done differently or how it could have been better or just spending time thinking about it wile not thinking that maybe there is something better for me out there. Maybe I can be happy doing something else. Maybe this door got slammed closed in my face but there might be another one waiting to be opened by me. So I need to stop focusing on the past happiness I once had and try to look for a new sense of happiness.
7. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.-We can know everything there is to know about something, how to be a good runner, how to recovery but if we don't apply what we know we never will. And just be willing to do something isn't enough you must do it. Just be willing to go for a long run doesn't mean anything I have to actaully go out there and do a long run. Just being willing to recovery doesn't mean I will, I have to take actions and try to recovery. I can know exactly what I need to do to run a sub 3:40 50k but if I don't apply what I know I probably won't get that outcome. I can be willing to run a sub 3:40 50k but that doesn't mean I will, I actually have to go out there and do it. I ca know everything I need to know to recovery but won't unless I apply what I know and not just be willing to recover actually go after it and recover,
8. The difference between can and cannot are only three letters. Three letters that determine your life's direction.-I am also guilty of this all the times saying I cannot do this or that. That I cannot recover or I cannot run that fast or that far. This negative outlook I learned we produce those negative results. I learned this in Idaho while trying to run up a mountain. All my life I have been told I am not a good hill runner so I went in with a bad attitude of I can't do this. And all the way until 3 minutes to the top I kept telling myself that i can't run hills let alone mountains. And was just miserable the whole time. Then I thought to myself what would, my coach at the time say, and I thought, "I love hills/mountains" and started to repeat this in my head instead of I can't do this and I got closer to the guy ahead of me. However that guy should never have been ahead of me but me telling myself I cannot run hills let it wide open for him to smash me on the hills until the final 3 minutes when I started to close in. The next week I had a hill workout and on every hill I told myself that I can do this I love hills and it was one of the easiest workout I had done. I did the same thing with quarter repeats on the track. I've learned if I say I cannot do it I most likely won't but if I say i can thre is a possibility that I can do it.
9. "You cannot say you've lost a friend. If a friendship is capable of ending, it is because it never existed."-I am having a hard time with this one but I understand it and know it is true. I have had a lot of friendships end. I try to make them work but they don't and eventually the person stops talking to me altogether. And what I really need to think is that if it could just end like that it was never a friendship. Like having someone tell you they love you and still care about you but no longer want you in their life. That is not a true friend. In that situation as much as it seemed to be there was something there and we were like best friends, even family, if you can tell someone you no longer want them in your life they were never truly your friend to begin with so I have to accept that this person never really saw me as a friend and move on as hard as it is. So when I think I have lost so many friends I have to realize these people weren't friends to begin with so I am not losing friends I am just losing people that were once in my life. That even if it felt like it a friendship never existed if they can just walk away from you.
10. "I wish I was a glow worm, A glow worm's never glum. 'Cos how can you be grumpy When the sun shines out your bum!"-I had to add this quote at the end. It so helped make my week. I am now striving everyday to be like a glow worm. This quote actually made me laugh out loud for a long time. And several times after reading it. I have not laughed like that in years this quote brought me joy. It is saying strive to not be grumpy everyday, you can find something to be happy about. Find it and enjoy it even if things are rough. I don't have much to say about this one, I just hope maybe it made you smile a little lie it did for me.
Take Care of yourself and may God Bless you if you believe in him and may you have a good run and good remaining weekend and a good week ahead.